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So about a month ago, our bishop was “inspired” to call DH & I as Pa and Ma on trek. By text message. 🙄 DH said he couldn’t go, but I said I would go as a single ‘Ma’. The bishop (understandably) said he didn’t know about that, but would get back to me. Nothing.
Now, with trek 3 weeks away we get an email with instructions for Ma’s and Pa’s.
Among the things that make me want to blow my top:
The Ma’s and Pa’s are instructed to search all the belongings of all the youth, including looking inside their sleeping bags and the pockets of their clothing for *anything* not on the packing list.
Among the activities are rifle shooting and hatchet throwing, they didn’t tell the parents about these, and have no information regarding conditions or certifications of the instructors.
In the section on sickness is three paragraphs explaining how most problems are just in the youth’s heads and you should “be guided by the spirit” but probably should ignore them. It states that major medical issues are unlikely. (This explains why in the previous 2 events several youth were sent home with heat stroke)
Also it states that most of the time illness is caused by drinking too much water, and they are to be limited to 1/2 a cup at each water break.
I knew about the men leaving, but I didn’t know that they didn’t leave they just walk alongside not helping. This portion is arranged to be up a steep hill and is to be done in complete silence. No one is allowed to speak at all.
Then don’t go. Well, that is the obvious solution. But my daughter is very excited to go, and won’t be talked out of it. My concern isn’t so much about my going, but that the youth are going to be subjected to this level of irresponsibility, and that parents who don’t have this information have placed an undeserved trust in leaders to take care of and respect their children.
Hi Rebeccad. While I share your concern with all issues I find the first 2 to be highly subjective. The last 2 however are not and are of sever negligence. My family members who are RN and doctors have a huge problem with bad info and practices like that in any place they see it. Having said that I would do what they would do in this situation. Bring it up, if they don’t change the last 2 then try to hand over those instructions to a doctor and or therapist to remove or restructure those instructions. Have them write a letter, I know most doctors would have a huge problem with the last 2 and should have no problem getting a letter from a doctor for it.
Having said that, be polite but very firm on those issues if you want. That’s what I would do as well as my family members who are TBMs who are RN and doctors. I seem them do it many times, they can’t stand false info and bad practices like that being spread. It’s too hurtful to the mission and oath to help people with good practices.
But remember to be polite but firm is my sucked toon along with a medical and or therapist letter if you can. Have them read those instructions. I wouldn’t want those to become bad practices that result in negligence from false teachings.
My daughters love trek. They made great friendships as a result of it, so I would fight the tendency to dismiss or reject it automatically. Having said that, treks vary from area to area, and, as FC said, the last two things are not things I would accept silently. I would say, calmly but firmly, that I could not enforce the water ration, for example, in good conscience – and I would use the example of the previous heat strokes and say I simply couldn’t be part of a situation that has a high likelihood of ending that way for one or more youth. Literally, I would tell them that I had agreed to go not realizing that the youth would be put in medical danger and could not go if the last two things were not changed.
As for the restrictions on what the youth can bring, I actually don’t mind that at all. For example, on something like this, a cell phone really is inappropriate.
I don’t mind restrictions on what the youth bring. I mind a random leader (most likely a stranger) being assigned to search their belongings for them, including looking in pockets etc. They literally justify the small water rations by saying their thirst will bring them closer to God and each other.
Fwiw, I would not support any random leader searching. At the least, I only would support a leader of the same sex – for, I think, obvious reasons. While I loved trek as a youth, I have a difficult time with it as a sentient adult. I have a hard time reconciling my ‘spiritual’ experiences from trek as more than just experiences where I was either manipulated (water rations for humility?) into feeling the spirit, or where group activities were used to help us feel the spirit. I think sometimes we can feel powerful emotions being involved in something big like this, but often it isn’t the spirit. I have felt similar emotions at the start of a mountain bike race, singing the national anthem and as we shared our experiences around the camp fire on college backpacking trips. For these reasons, among others I have a difficult time with these Mormon role playing camps. Our ward is doing Moroni’s Quest this summer and I feel relieved that I am no longer in young men’s for this. Before I quit my calling I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to match the kids enthusiasm for this event, as sometimes I tend to get my grumpy, jaded side get the best of me.
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I’ve never heard of Moroni’s Quest. What is it? I have plus and minus feelings about trek’s. One thing that was important to me as a parent was to teach my daughter that the re enactment was not a complete picture of the entire exodus west. The first 2 or 3 companies made it with little problem. Or at least not in the sense that the Willey handcart people faced. I wanted her to know that. I felt it was important to explain to her that the members of the earlier companies who made it with less trauma were just as valiant and dedicated to the church as the hand cart members. The lack of acknowledgement of this fact probably annoys me most. If every trek was varied, if a fuller account was given or enacted, I think we would be using the experience wiser. Good luck to you and your heart as you go. Take God and prayer with you, He knows the trek and it’s history better than anybody.
FWIW – I don’t believe President Hinckley envisioned a torture experience when he endorsed the hand cart trek ideas. He took the idea from the sesquicentennial trekkers. Their experience was a happy re enactment, much like present Civil War re enactments. I know a few families that were part of that. Everyone ate well, had great square dances, sweet campfires, and soul full reflection. I believe President Hinckley was encouraging more of that, not intense deprivation.
Last of all, good for you for going. Maybe you can find happy journal entries, and positive pioneer stories to tell. Again, good luck.
I kind of wish they would take all the time, effort and money that goes into treks and do really nice youth conferences instead. Rent dorms or 4-H facilities, have good speakers and activities, etc. There’s a real haves- and haves-not division developing among the kids between those who can afford EFY and those who can’t. Seems like the stake YC experience has been outsourced to EFY, but only a few can go. That said, I think treks can be good if they’re done with a light touch, excellent planning and necessary water. (That last is a no-brainer.)
One of our kids had a good time in one stake, even though they ate raw rice because the cooking hadn’t been adequately planned out. In another stake (and long before faith issues), we un-signed ourselves up as Ma and Pa because we thought the script for the event was too maudlin and manipulative. One thing I remember was that they would have carried a baby doll a certain distance before it “dies” and they have a graveside funeral.
It would be nice if they could also recognize that human history is full of herculean treks. Pay some mutual respect to the incredible fortitude of all pioneers, explorers, refugees, etc.
Rifle shooting and hatchet throwing…probably the only fun part of the trek. Why would you complain about that?
Seriously…if you don’t like the rules and expectations…just don’t go and tell daughter she had no choice. You’re the parent.
I think bags checks are fine. I know teachers who do it before school trips all the time. My students know I may or may not check bags and that is my prerogative as the advisor of the trip.
I think trek is silly and dangerous to the mind of youth…to much brain washing and religious idolatry. We don’t participate, nor have we ever.
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mom3 wrote:
Maybe you can find happy journal entries, and positive pioneer stories to tell. Again, good luck.That is a fantastic idea.
Quote:Rifle shooting and hatchet throwing…probably the only fun part of the trek.
Why would you complain about that?
I have no problem with it at all, if it is taught and supervised by someone who knows what they are doing; both with handling a gun and instructing and supervising youth.
I do have a problem with Brother X who just bought his first 30-06 for Father’s day and wants to show it off.
Trek. Ambitious, but rubbish. I’m sorry but any deprivation of food, water or shelter during arduous work, along with isolation from peers and the creation of an artificial group “new family” serves only to break the willpower of the individual.
The experiences are manufactured, and in my own opinion, a poor way of remembering those who suffered tremendous loss moving west.
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