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This is my first post, little nervous. My story is just like a lot of people, raised LDS, mission, BYU, and worked for the church almost 10 years. Always been a reader, and have discovered many things about religion the last ten years to make me doubt most of it. I discovered a poem by Thomas Hardy which sums up my current state perfectly, I’d like to share it with the group.
Thomas Hardy (1840–1928). Wessex Poems and Other Verses. 1898.
The Impercipient
THAT from this bright believing band
An outcast I should be,
That faiths by which my comrades stand
Seem fantasies to me,
And mirage-mists their Shining Land,
Is a drear destiny.
Why thus my soul should be consigned
To infelicity,
Why always I must feel as blind
To sights my brethren see,
Why joys they’ve found I cannot find,
Abides a mystery.
Since heart of mine knows not that ease
Which they know; since it be
That He who breathes All’s Well to these
Breathes no All’s Well to me,
My lack might move their sympathies
And Christian charity!
I am like a gazer who should mark
An inland company
Standing upfingered, with, “Hark! hark!
The glorious distant sea!”
And feel, “Alas, ’tis but yon dark
And wind-swept pine to me!”
O, doth a bird deprived of wings
Go earth-bound wilfully!
. . . .
Enough. As yet disquiet clings
About us. Rest shall we.
Welcome and thanks for sharing. I too find things I can relate to in the poem. Hi, Greyair – Glad you found us and I hope reading here helps. Thanks for the poem. Those emotions are there for me, too, sometimes. I found this quote from an Otto van Neurath early on, and it’s helped me: Quote:We are like sailors who on the open sea must reconstruct their ship but are never able to start afresh from the bottom. Where a beam is taken away a new one must at once be put there, and for this the rest of the ship is used as support. In this way, by using the old beams and driftwood the ship can be shaped entirely anew, but only by gradual reconstruction.
The ship “can be shaped entirely anew.” I love that, and I’m not overly concerned anymore whether the reshaped ship flies the LDS flag because it will be whatever I have made with what God has provided me.
Welcome! I don’t have a lot to add besides that the poem also stirs something in me. I get that guy.
Feel free to share details about yourself at your own pace. I will say, though, that this particular tribe is very understanding.
When you feel more like reading than writing, Google searches spelled like “site:staylds.com
Thank you Tess of the D’Urbervilles was my first introduction to Thomas Hardy. I loved that book. Far from the Maddening Crowd became another favorite. Tonight, I realized that I had never read any of his poetry. Thank you for sharing such a perfect poem. My life is richer tonight because of it.
Amen. A beautiful poem. Please write some more if you can. Welcome to the group. We need more voices like yours.
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