Possible Model of LDS Church Phases of Commitment

[Anonymous]

Love This!

I was a “quirky” Stage 1 (Engagement) person for a good 20+ years – and I made some good choices during that time.

I managed to combine Stage 2 (Unfreezing) and Stage 3 (Disengagement) simultaneously (lucky me) starting about 6-9 months ago.

Mostly because I needed to redefine who I was and everything I knew/believed or hoped to be true. The catalyst for this storm of changes was I found that there was a neurological description that shed great light on my previous developmental processes. It was more a case of “this trait clearly caused this train of thought in x,y,z instances while I was growing up – and I was incorrect in how I approached the situation and took it too far in the black/white realm of thinking… so how that does apply to everything else…” I wish I could describe it better – but that moment of clarity when you realize that you really misperceived or did not perceive at all the same things everyone else did 95% of the time because of circumstances beyond your control will create a lot of cognitive dissonance…

While I am grateful for the opportunity to learn the advantages and pitfalls of how I think/react from their neurological roots and take the opportunity for self-improvement, General Identity crises stink FYI.

I keep trying to move into Stage 4 as soon as I can because I hate uncertainty. Unfortunately, it seems that I have to make it to stage 4 with each issue that I made it to stage 2 with before I can “graduate” to the next stage.

I am striving to participate in church (mostly because I don’t believe going elsewhere is trading up for me and to a certain extent my family).

Actually, most days I don’t want to interact with the rest of humanity because without a doubt something will happen/or be said that will cause them or myself to want to hit our heads against a brick wall repeatedly. Our church members bear the dubious distinction of those people I feel will most likely be the most critical of us because they interact with us the most (they are good people who look out for us and we have let them into our lives to a certain extent) and have higher standards to compare us against. I know we are on people’s radar because the branch is small and we are a very unique family. But because our branch is so small, leadership roulette works in our favor for the most part because the institution needs us just as much (if not more) than we need them.

Since we are big city people from California who moved to the rural district of Michigan, we don’t fit in easily in our community either. Nor do I feel it is always worth the energy/resources to fit in.

[Anonymous]

I have found that moving between stages is a bit like bobbing in the waves in the ocean. One day I feel stage 5 ish and all the anger is gone and I have respect and sympathy towards all TBM’s. The next day I have a button pushed and I am pissed off and realize that I am not firm in stage 5! But over time the % continues to shift and I have come to relax and enjoy the ocean moving me up and down and not fight it.

[Author]

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