Promised Blessings

[Anonymous]

grobert93 wrote:

I’ve been trying to figure out where and how I emotionally became tangled up in this mess of my fault for other’s choices, and I realized some quotes we read on the mission and were told were inspired for us may have caused them.

“I frequently say to missionaries in the field, ‘You make or break your mission every morning of your life. You tell me how those morning hours go from 6:30 a.m. until you are on the street in your mission, whatever time it is; you tell me how those hours go, and I will tell you how your day will go, I will tell you how your month will go, I will tell you how your year will go and how your mission and your life will go’” (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, seminar for new mission presidents, June 26, 2011).

I look at obedience these days as “getting your head in the game” whatever the game is. For example, If you want to become good at meditation and introspection, it means breaking down that desire to into core concepts and finding the time to work towards that. But it is very hard (if not impossible) to be a deep meditation guru without learning about mindfulness, or practicing meditation, or finding the environment(s) that work for you to become introspective.

As a missionary, how those hours were spent can tell you where the missionary’s head was – whether that missionary was serving others, contacting people, or not. Did the missionary develop better habits because they were out in the field with others who could teach and inspire them? Ultimately, the greatest missionary successes will not be the conversions – unless it is the repentance/conversion of the missionary themselves.

One of the greatest successes I saw on my mission was a companion who started to change how she managed and prioritized her time – she became more punctual, and started getting up in the morning on time. She finally got what we had been trying to tell her since day 1 in the mission field (and perhaps what countless others before us had been trying to point out to her).

grobert93 wrote:

This, coupled with so many other apostles advising on obedience brings blessings and it’s no wonder I’ve convinced myself if I’m not obedience and live up to the standards I’ve covenanted to, anything that happens against my hope is my fault.

Is your “fault”, or an opportunity to extend yourself personal grace to accept where you are, move on to make changes and do better?

[Anonymous]

AmyJ wrote:

grobert93 wrote:

I’ve been trying to figure out where and how I emotionally became tangled up in this mess of my fault for other’s choices, and I realized some quotes we read on the mission and were told were inspired for us may have caused them.

“I frequently say to missionaries in the field, ‘You make or break your mission every morning of your life. You tell me how those morning hours go from 6:30 a.m. until you are on the street in your mission, whatever time it is; you tell me how those hours go, and I will tell you how your day will go, I will tell you how your month will go, I will tell you how your year will go and how your mission and your life will go’” (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, seminar for new mission presidents, June 26, 2011).

I look at obedience these days as “getting your head in the game” whatever the game is. For example, If you want to become good at meditation and introspection, it means breaking down that desire to into core concepts and finding the time to work towards that. But it is very hard (if not impossible) to be a deep meditation guru without learning about mindfulness, or practicing meditation, or finding the environment(s) that work for you to become introspective.

As a missionary, how those hours were spent can tell you where the missionary’s head was – whether that missionary was serving others, contacting people, or not. Did the missionary develop better habits because they were out in the field with others who could teach and inspire them? Ultimately, the greatest missionary successes will not be the conversions – unless it is the repentance/conversion of the missionary themselves.

One of the greatest successes I saw on my mission was a companion who started to change how she managed and prioritized her time – she became more punctual, and started getting up in the morning on time. She finally got what we had been trying to tell her since day 1 in the mission field (and perhaps what countless others before us had been trying to point out to her).

grobert93 wrote:

This, coupled with so many other apostles advising on obedience brings blessings and it’s no wonder I’ve convinced myself if I’m not obedience and live up to the standards I’ve covenanted to, anything that happens against my hope is my fault.

Is your “fault”, or an opportunity to extend yourself personal grace to accept where you are, move on to make changes and do better?

I agree with you that if I wanted to get my “head in the game” I need to isolate step by step choices in order to improve my results. I think the problem is, when you don’t meet expectations, achieve goals or have your head “fully in the game”, blame and responsibility come in and the problem is identified, usually.

Having had anxiety while serving, and serving with several companions that struggled with various levels of emotional difficulty, I have personally learned that being perfectly punctual on the mission (and pressuring your companion to do so) was one of the least effective ways to have unity and get work done. This is based off of my own, unique experiences and is not applicable to every situation. But I learned that worrying about waking up 5 minutes later or taking an extra ten minutes personal study was not the end of the world and should not have been culturally defined as doctrinally losing blessings or accepting responsibility for any unfavorable events that day.

The problem I have is when we associated an imperfection (well meaning but failing to perfectly follow the morning schedule, for example) with an independent third party result. If I did not follow the morning schedule, then any appoints that would fall through or failed commitments would land on my hands. The idea that us missionaries controlled other’s choices was unhealthy and is a confusing mess for me to figure out. Yes, obedience brings blessings but is it the healthiest to tell an elder that their dropped baptism was due to their non-diligence to stay busy until 8pm?

It should be seen as an opportunity to improve, but my point is that I don’t think it’s fair or healthy to pressure missionaries to be obedient because their actions will affect other’s willingness to progress.

Also, while I agree that if you committed to serve a mission you’re promising to stay focused etc. However, I found that my physical body is not perfect and often I would need to take breaks (more than just a “p day” (which was usually stressful because it was the only day to get laundry and shopping done)) for an hour or two every few days. My closing to get a slushy on a summer day and just relaxing for 20 minutes as a missionary could be perceived as being apostate or disobedient, but for me I would view it as needing to relax and allow myself to refresh for the remainder of the day.

[Anonymous]

grobert93 wrote:

I agree with you that if I wanted to get my “head in the game” I need to isolate step by step choices in order to improve my results. I think the problem is, when you don’t meet expectations, achieve goals or have your head “fully in the game”, blame and responsibility come in and the problem is identified, usually.

I agree – when expectations aren’t met and goals aren’t achieved, it is very easy to blame oneself. However, I think that blame and responsibility are not the same thing. I think that accepting blame is more passive, and shifts the final judgement of action from an internal loci (self) to an external one (others). I think that when a person accepts responsibility for their contribution to the circumstance, that person is also accepting an internal intent to improve or change the situation. Paradoxically, I feel that it is more liberating to accept responsibility for choices than it is to accept blame for choices, even though accepting blame requires less work.

grobert93 wrote:

Having had anxiety while serving, and serving with several companions that struggled with various levels of emotional difficulty, I have personally learned that being perfectly punctual on the mission (and pressuring your companion to do so) was one of the least effective ways to have unity and get work done. This is based off of my own, unique experiences and is not applicable to every situation. But I learned that worrying about waking up 5 minutes later or taking an extra ten minutes personal study was not the end of the world and should not have been culturally defined as doctrinally losing blessings or accepting responsibility for any unfavorable events that day.

The measure of her success wasn’t in the clock really, it was what that clock meant. For this sister, it meant that she had changed her paradigm to be more in line with the needs/desires of her companions instead of her own desires. Our work didn’t miraculously change because she became more prompt. Our companionship was stronger because we were working together to achieve a common goal of timeliness.

grobert93 wrote:

The problem I have is when we associated an imperfection (well meaning but failing to perfectly follow the morning schedule, for example) with an independent third party result. If I did not follow the morning schedule, then any appoints that would fall through or failed commitments would land on my hands. The idea that us missionaries controlled other’s choices was unhealthy and is a confusing mess for me to figure out. Yes, obedience brings blessings but is it the healthiest to tell an elder that their dropped baptism was due to their non-diligence to stay busy until 8pm?

I think that at the end of the day, what matters more than the morning schedule is how the people enacting it treat each other and the fallout in the day from those choices. Even today (many years and several thousand miles post-mission), how I react to others, and how others react to me has a HUGE impact on how the day goes, and how we interact with others. Part of human development is learning to separate our choices from the choices of others, and learning how to extend grace to others and to ourselves.

grobert93 wrote:

It should be seen as an opportunity to improve, but my point is that I don’t think it’s fair or healthy to pressure missionaries to be obedient because their actions will affect other’s willingness to progress.

Also, while I agree that if you committed to serve a mission you’re promising to stay focused etc. However, I found that my physical body is not perfect and often I would need to take breaks (more than just a “p day” (which was usually stressful because it was the only day to get laundry and shopping done)) for an hour or two every few days. My closing to get a slushy on a summer day and just relaxing for 20 minutes as a missionary could be perceived as being apostate or disobedient, but for me I would view it as needing to relax and allow myself to refresh for the remainder of the day.

People are always going to be there to laud you, to judge you, to be baffled by you, to yell at you, to try to idolize you. Humans are gonna human.

I am not sure how healthy it is to pressure anyone to be obedient because it impacts another’s progress. I know that the personal pressure I put on myself to motivate myself to go to church some Sundays for my children feels different and I react differently then when I perceive my husband putting that same amount of pressure on me.

One of the things that I am learning is that circumstances are as pervasive (all-incompassing in my life), permanent (staying in my life), and to the degree I take it personally (for good for ill). I am working on acknowledging what I think and feel about things, and then deciding to the degree of actual choice I have the level of pervasiveness, permanence, and personalization I am going to allow. It’s not perfect. But I have found that I can extend grace to others more easily (and their paradigms) as I don’t take what they are saying as a reflection of how they see my paradigm (taking it personally), but more of a description of what a part of their paradigm looks like.

[Anonymous]

I took the “obedience brings blessings” narrative WAY too seriously as a missionary. It contributed to many of my mental health problems. I had an acute fear that bad things would happen if I broke even the most minor rule (partly because of the stories we would be told in the MTC about missionaries who were almost killed because they went to the beach on p-day or something). This is a very dangerous idea for an OCD-prone individual like myself.

By the second half of my mission I was struggling with crippling depression and simply couldn’t do it anymore. If I needed a break, I took one. If I felt like I needed to give myself more sleep, I did. If I was assigned to a horrible companion, I spoke up to get it changed (this was very important to me after what I went through with one of my earlier companions). One of the main lessons I learned was that I had to help myself, since nobody else would (including God, it seemed). I learned that at times I needed to trust my own judgement more than that of my zone leaders or even my mission president, since I was the only person who could really know what was best for me.

This really destroyed my faith in obedience for obedience’s sake. I find it interesting how many RMs I hear testify about how they learned the value of obedience, since feel like I learned the opposite. I learned that I can’t blindly trust leaders, rules, or systems and that I need to stick up for myself and my beliefs.

My faith crisis started because no matter how bad things got on my mission, it seemed like there were never any answers to prayers, and no matter how obedient I was, there were never any promised blessings. I have a lot of difficulty now believing in promised blessings, because I never received any of the great blessings that were supposed to come from serving a mission, and instead came home very, very broken. The only way I can reconcile this is to tell myself that God never actually personally promised me those blessings–people did, and they were wrong.

[Anonymous]

Arrakeen wrote:

My faith crisis started because no matter how bad things got on my mission, it seemed like there were never any answers to prayers, and no matter how obedient I was, there were never any promised blessings. I have a lot of difficulty now believing in promised blessings, because I never received any of the great blessings that were supposed to come from serving a mission, and instead came home very, very broken. The only way I can reconcile this is to tell myself that God never actually personally promised me those blessings–people did, and they were wrong.

We often treat everyone the same in the church, and make broad statements based on our own experiences, but people are different, and suffer from a variety of spiritual diseases. There is often overlap between mental health issues and spiritual issues, but I couldn’t tell you where one ends and the other starts.

Jesus explained that one could keep the commandments and still not receive the promised blessings because of ones attitudes. A bad attitude was the same as commiting the sin. Attitudes definately influence and are influenced by mental health. So it can be a murky area. I have seen people overcome their mental health issues, with a lot of help, but it is more common for people to suffer from the same issues throughout their lives.

[Anonymous]

rrosskopf wrote:

Arrakeen wrote:

My faith crisis started because no matter how bad things got on my mission, it seemed like there were never any answers to prayers, and no matter how obedient I was, there were never any promised blessings. I have a lot of difficulty now believing in promised blessings, because I never received any of the great blessings that were supposed to come from serving a mission, and instead came home very, very broken. The only way I can reconcile this is to tell myself that God never actually personally promised me those blessings–people did, and they were wrong.

We often treat everyone the same in the church, and make broad statements based on our own experiences, but people are different, and suffer from a variety of spiritual diseases. There is often overlap between mental health issues and spiritual issues, but I couldn’t tell you where one ends and the other starts.

Jesus explained that one could keep the commandments and still not receive the promised blessings because of ones attitudes. A bad attitude was the same as commiting the sin. Attitudes definately influence and are influenced by mental health. So it can be a murky area. I have seen people overcome their mental health issues, with a lot of help, but it is more common for people to suffer from the same issues throughout their lives.

I don’t think it’s all about mental health though. Let’s use Moroni’s promise as an example. Many people will stand at the pulpit at testify that they received a witness of the BoM as expected, and because they received that witness exactly as outlined they expect everyone else also did or can. But that’s not necessarily the case. In any given congregation you could find several who have not received the promised/expected witness despite great effort on their part – but don’t expect them to openly admit it for several reasons. Likewise there could be several reasons why they haven’t, including that God just hasn’t done it yet. Those people are often left to wonder “What’s wrong with me?” This does not only apply to Moroni’s promise, many testimony areas are very similar as is the experience of many missionaries when it comes to strict obedience.

I’m just going to throw in a couple related side notes here. 1) Moroni’s promise: generally only verses 3-5 are read. Verse 1 makes it clear who the promise is actually to. He was writing to the Lamanites. Does that mean the promise won’t work for others? Apparently not, but it also might indicate it’s not to everybody. 2) Oliver Cowdery and translating: The “burning in the bosom” is often cited. I can’t say I’ve ever experienced what I would call a burning in the bosom other than heartburn when I eat too much chili. The burning in the bosom may be how God communicated with Oliver, but I get a much different feeling. AND, we also need to keep in mind that Oliver failed at translating – and it was not for lack of trying, burning bosom or not.

[Anonymous]

rrosskopf wrote:

Jesus explained that one could keep the commandments and still not receive the promised blessings because of ones attitudes. A bad attitude was the same as commiting the sin. Attitudes definately influence and are influenced by mental health. So it can be a murky area. I have seen people overcome their mental health issues, with a lot of help, but it is more common for people to suffer from the same issues throughout their lives.

I think someone that is struggling to feel as though they are receiving a promised blessing would see this as another in a long line of excuses for why a promised blessing did not occur.

Maybe the reasoning is that since god is perfect, if I’m not receiving a blessing it must mean that there is something wrong on my end. In this case if someone (somehow) feels like they are being obedient enough to receive a blessing and they still aren’t receiving the desired blessing then… must be a bad attitude. You start at the top of the checklist of why a blessing wasn’t received and you work your way down until you find out where you screwed up. Maybe if you make it past the attitude checkbox you’re left with the blessing coming in the afterlife.

That pattern can actually help to achieve desired goals (try, try, and try again) but if taken to extremes I believe this sort of pattern can lead people to developing mental health issues. It may be healthier to realize that stuff happens. Especially when the alternative is believing that we’re not worthy/lovable enough to receive a blessing.

In orthodox terms… we’re in a fallen world. Maybe the formulas and vending machines work perfectly in a celestial world, but we’re not on a celestial world. We have to deal with the consequences of the Fall and one of the consequences of the Fall is that sometimes things just happen. That’s life.

Take Job. What did he do to deserve his fate? What did his friends say? What was his internal dialog.

[Anonymous]

DarkJedi wrote:

I don’t think it’s all about mental health though. Let’s use Moroni’s promise as an example. Many people will stand at the pulpit at testify that they received a witness of the BoM as expected, and because they received that witness exactly as outlined they expect everyone else also did or can. But that’s not necessarily the case. In any given congregation you could find several who have not received the promised/expected witness despite great effort on their part – but don’t expect them to openly admit it for several reasons. Likewise there could be several reasons why they haven’t, including that God just hasn’t done it yet. Those people are often left to wonder “What’s wrong with me.” This does not only apply to Moroni’s promise, many testimony areas are very similar as is the experience of many missionaries when it comes to strict obedience.

Doctrine and Covenants 46:11-14 wrote:

For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.

To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.

To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.

To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.

I’ve brought up this point before. One verse says that to some it is given to know and another verse says that it is given to believe those that know. I think our brains sometimes automatically translate that into an either-or statement, either you can know or you can believe others that know, but I think there’s room in those verses to say that some people have the gift to know and to believe others that know; and there’s some people that have neither of those gifts – their spiritual gift is something else entirely.

[Anonymous]

nibbler wrote:

DarkJedi wrote:

I don’t think it’s all about mental health though. Let’s use Moroni’s promise as an example. Many people will stand at the pulpit at testify that they received a witness of the BoM as expected, and because they received that witness exactly as outlined they expect everyone else also did or can. But that’s not necessarily the case. In any given congregation you could find several who have not received the promised/expected witness despite great effort on their part – but don’t expect them to openly admit it for several reasons. Likewise there could be several reasons why they haven’t, including that God just hasn’t done it yet. Those people are often left to wonder “What’s wrong with me.” This does not only apply to Moroni’s promise, many testimony areas are very similar as is the experience of many missionaries when it comes to strict obedience.

Doctrine and Covenants 46:11-14 wrote:

For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.

To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.

To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.

To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.

I’ve brought up this point before. One verse says that to some it is given to know and another verse says that it is given to believe those that know. I think our brains sometimes automatically translate that into an either-or statement, either you can know or you can believe others that know, but I think there’s room in those verses to say that some people have the gift to know and to believe others that know; and there’s some people that have neither of those gifts – their spiritual gift is something else entirely.

Great point Nibbler. I have included this idea in many of my talks.

[Anonymous]

(Admin Note): Spiritual “issues” will not be lumped together with mental health issues or disorders at this site – especially if they are labeled or implied to be “diseases”. Period. Full stop.

Spiritual struggles will not be blamed comprehensively on laziness, sin, complacency, rebellion, etc. at this site. Period. Full stop.

People who see and experience spiritual things non-traditionally are not psychologically abnormal or deviant. We will not approach them as patients to be fixed or healed, so they can have orthodox views and with the belief they can have specific spiritual manifestations. That is not our mission, and it is, in fact, opposed to our mission. Period. Full stop.

We approach very few things at this site through an all-or-nothing lens. This is one of those things where there is no leeway. Period. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

rrosskopf wrote:

one could keep the commandments and still not receive the promised blessings because of ones attitudes.

I can see some truth in this statement but I am looking at it from the other side. My wife often says that people see blessing because of their perception. We have an old clunker car that has gone on to operate far longer than expectations. DW was talking about it to her ministering sister and the sister exclaimed “tithing blessings!”. DW later relayed the story to me and we were commenting on the reaction.

In our situation something good has happened (a blessing) without a clear explanation.

We know that our old car’s continued operation cannot be a consequence of tithing compliance because I as head of the household had not paid tithing since before the car (already in a used a high mileage state) was purchased.

The ministering sister would like to ascribe this fortunate occurrence to payment of tithing. I have no doubt that she ascribes many good things that happen in her life to tithing compliance, temple attendance, meaningful service or the like.

Therefor, in a significant way, it is her perception or “attitude” that can draw a connection between the “blessing” and religious observances.

IOW, “believing” can lead to “seeing” blessings.

The above story is low stakes and not particularly personal. Something good happened but it wasn’t critical or somehow tied up in my identity as a person. Where these issues become much more difficult and heart wrenching is when the “promised blessing” is deeply personal, reflects a long held desire, and may even impact the individuals personal identity or sense of self worth and yet it remains elusive despite all efforts. To imply that these people just do not want it hard enough or have not tried long enough or maybe have some other personal failing preventing fulfilment – to imply that is not helpful and does a disservice to those individuals.

[Anonymous]

nibbler wrote:

I’ve brought up this point before. One verse says that to some it is given to know and another verse says that it is given to believe those that know. I think our brains sometimes automatically translate that into an either-or statement, either you can know or you can believe others that know, but I think there’s room in those verses to say that some people have the gift to know and to believe others that know; and there’s some people that have neither of those gifts – their spiritual gift is something else entirely.

I like this idea. It definitely does seem like some people are just naturally more prone to spiritual feelings than others. I’m definitely not, I’ve only really had one spiritual experience my entire life. It’s easy to miss the spiritual diversity in the church since it seems like mostly those with regular spiritual experiences or stories of blessings are the ones who get up to speak in fast and testimony meeting. This leads to a sort of selection bias, where it’s easy to think we’re the only one not having these great experiences. While it’s nice to be optimistic, I think we sometimes focus too much on the “17 miracles” while ignoring the thousands of not-miracles when things just didn’t work out, which just leads to discouragement when we find ourselves in the latter group.

I struggle at times when I hear all these wonderful testimonies from people (especially about missions since like 80 percent of my ward is recent RMs) and wonder, why does God seem to bless everyone else but me? I have to remind myself that the people who bear their testimonies are often those who feel like they have great experiences to share. Among the rest are probably people like me, wondering why they don’t have these kinds of experiences.

[Anonymous]

This discussion on promised blessings, right mindset, etc, reminded me a series of articles I read a while back, covering why eye-witness testimonies are unreliable. Here’s the article from Scientific American, back in 2010. It references a study done by Elizabeth F Loftus, et al, called The Formation of False Memories. Here’s another article by Simply Psychology, which covers Bartlett’s theory of Reconstructive Memory. Just citing my sources.

Here are some key points (emphasis added):

Quote:

Since the 1990s, when DNA testing was first introduced, Innocence Project researchers have reported that 73 percent of the 239 convictions overturned through DNA testing were based on eyewitness testimony. One third of these overturned cases rested on the testimony of two or more mistaken eyewitnesses.

Many people believe that human memory works like a video recorder: the mind records events and then, on cue, plays back an exact replica of them. On the contrary, psychologists have found that memories are reconstructed rather than played back each time we recall them.

…highly confident eyewitnesses are generally only slightly more accurate—and sometimes no more so—than those who are less confident.

Many researchers have created false memories in normal individuals; what is more, many of these subjects are certain that the memories are real.

Quote:

Recall is subject to personal interpretation dependent on our learnt or cultural norms and values, and the way we make sense of our world.

People store information in the way that makes the most sense to them. We make sense of information by trying to fit it into schemas, which are a way of organizing information. We make sense of information by trying to fit it into schemas, which are a way of organizing information.

Schemas are mental ‘units’ of knowledge that correspond to frequently encountered people, objects or situations. They allow us to make sense of what we encounter in order that we can predict what is going to happen and what we should do in any given situation. These schemas may, in part, be determined by social values and therefore prejudice.

Schemas are therefore capable of distorting unfamiliar or unconsciously ‘unacceptable’ information in order to ‘fit in’ with our existing knowledge or schemas. This can, therefore, result in unreliable eyewitness testimony.

Memory is an active process and can be changed to ‘fit in’ with what we expect to happen based on your knowledge and understanding of society.

We like the world to make sense (even when it doesn’t). We have preconcieved ideas, notions, prejudices, and expectations which all influence how we percieve the world around us. While I believe there is an objective “reality”, human perception is very subjective. Time and time again, it is shown humans do not recall accurately. They fit information into what they already believe, not adjust what they believe to fit the new information. Therefore, new information (especially the kind that contradicts our “schemas”), is distorted. This isn’t mental illness. This is normal human psychology. People who hold a stronger belief in God, miracles, and blessings are more likely to see them, even if they’re not there. Likewise, those who have a stronger disbelief in God, miracles, and blessings are less likely to see them, even if they are there.

Personally, I don’t believe in God (unless we really stretch our definition), and if He did exist, I don’t believe He would be the cause of such “blessings”. It’s possible, but according to my own personal experience and understanding, I’ve concluded it is very unlikely. However, you might very reasonably believe in God, and see blessings directly from His hand every day. Both of us can’t be right, but who can say which of us is right? Both viewpoints are very understandable and equally valid, despite the fact that one of us is absolutely wrong. That doesn’t mean those who are “wrong” in their perceptions are crazy, irrational, or wicked. It means we’re human.

[Anonymous]

I was watching Green Acres the other day. It is about a NYC lawyer that leaves the rat race to become a farmer. The trouble is that he knows very little about farming, and doesn’t bother talking to actual farmers with successful farms before jumping in with both feet, so to speak. His wife hates living on a farm and seems to sabotage her husband at every step, occasionally doing something nice out of her love for him.

Although it is true that a farmer can do everything right and still have drought, pestilence, jealous neighbors, and other problems, it is also true that he can avoid many problems by talking to successful farmers. Job was successful before his series of unfortunate events, and he was successful afterward, because he knew how to cultivate fields and raise sheep.

Satan tells us anything he can to discourage us from trusting God and make us into victims. The victim mentality is one of constantly blaming others for everything that happens. Don’t even try, it isn’t worth it, Satan whispers into their ears. It’s not your fault, you were born that way. God didn’t answer your prayers and that proves that there aren’t any gods. Nobody is perfect; don’t even try. Do you think you are special? Everyone else is doing it, why shouldn’t you?

The opposite of the gospel of victims, is the gospel of repentance. Don’t focus on the wrongs that you perceive have been committed against you. Forgive others their trespasses. Rather focus on your own actions and attitudes, continually repenting of those actions and attitudes which can not lead to success. This is the leap of faith that one makes out of hope for a better day. We focus on what we can control, and not on anything else. Bad things can still happen, but overall we will be probably be better off.

Nephi is the man to emulate, not Laman and Lemuel. After his father dies, he is very sorrowful, and remembers all the bad things that happened to him throughout his life. Despite living a life of faith, Nephi is in great pain. But then he remembers all the good things that have happened and his grief is assuaded. He recommits to a life of faith. He takes all those who will follow him, and leaves his black hearted brethren behind.

[Anonymous]

I believe I recall several GAs blaming Satan for stuff just last weekend. Much of our story is a story of victimization (well, not mine, I’m not of Utah pioneer heritage but I hear it all the time). I think some church leaders and many church members foster the victimization/blame mentality.

[Author]

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