- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
As of three months ago, I have become unsettled and disgruntled with my ward. This all began to happen since our ward was expanded. Another ward was cut in half since the demographics had shifted to more non-LDS within the ward boundary. The new additions to our ward are fine, yet the whole dynamic has shifted and now it seems like Stake Conference every Sunday, and we have to strengthen the others who didn’t necessarily want the change. I could only think they did it for the youth, the adults were just fine. Within three weeks of the new change the EQ presidency was changed and now the Quorum seems to have gone to hell in a hand basket. Some people are really hyper-critical. I have seen how a ward can change for the better in some regards, but now, I don’t even want to attend our new “mega” Church. Feelings that haven’t surface have returned. I was just feeling comfortable at church now I am having issues with Church leadership and whether it is directed by Man or influenced by God. I feel like I don’t want to support my leaders since I wasn’t the one who wanted the change. I have a lot of animosity toward about three people at Church right now. I get tired of people putting on airs. Among my three biggest gripes right now are the following: 1) No adequate scouting programs for my kids and the parents have to do it all. I thought scouting was supposed to be a priority in the Church for young men and I actually like the progress my kids were making right now. Yet, the scouting is too marginal and for one age group, non-existent.
2) The Church caters to the youth and they can care less about the adults in general. The Church only needs a handful of TBMs to run the leadership and they can care less about me and other people who attend, especially if we didn’t grow-up in the area.
3) Bishops – are mini Popes who can do whatever they want. I have detested this, I actually in some ways like the Congregationalist model. I am actually leaning toward the Protestant view espoused by Bart Ehrman that the Bishop’s office was added later after the apostles were killed. If you have looked at the history of the office of Bishop, it is very dictatorial in nature and Bishops can even excommunicate people, and nominate their buddies to positions of leadership through good ole nepotism. I am tempted tomorrow when they ask in Priesthood if anyone has anything to share. I want to say the scouting program sucks in this ward and who is responsible for that? (Even though I know the answer) Part of me worries however, that they would nominate me to make it better, so I will just be quiet at the moment.
Now I can just get lost in the shuffle and no one would care I was gone. The ward is too big now. Who cares?
jamison wrote:
1) No adequate scouting programs for my kids and the parents have to do it all. I thought scouting was supposed to be a priority in the Church for young men and I actually like the progress my kids were making right now. Yet, the scouting is too marginal and for one age group, non-existent.The problem with church scouting programs is that the ward resources are allocated to many different places. The Bishop needs someone somewhere, and calls the excellent (or mediocre, learning) scouting personnel to something else. Better to go to a dedicated scout troop in the community where the volunteers are dedicated to the scouting program only.
Valid point though — one reason I don’t think the church is worth 10% of my income, notwithstanding the service and charity reasons for also giving.
Quote:
2) The Church caters to the youth and they can care less about the adults in general. The Church only needs a handful of TBMs to run the leadership and they can care less about me and other people who attend, especially if we didn’t grow-up in the area.The point is well taken. it’s true, they sink effort into the church’s youth because in the long run, it helps the church keep replenishing its adult, tithe-paying population. Adults — very little resources are sunk into them.
Quote:
3) Bishops – are mini Popes who can do whatever they want. I have detested this, I actually in some ways like the Congregationalist model. I am actually leaning toward the Protestant view espoused by Bart Ehrman that the Bishop’s office was added later after the apostles were killed. If you have looked at the history of the office of Bishop, it is very dictatorial in nature and Bishops can even excommunicate people, and nominate their buddies to positions of leadership through good ole nepotism. I am tempted tomorrow when they ask in Priesthood if anyone has anything to share. I want to say the scouting program sucks in this ward and who is responsible for that? (Even though I know the answer) Part of me worries however, that they would nominate me to make it better, so I will just be quiet at the moment.Not sure what to make of this. I am not a bureaucrat or manual thumper, so I’m not in favor of systemizing the role of Bishop. I like the fact that there is a certain amount of control at the local level. What I DO object to, is his role as advisor, judge, jury and executioner on matters such as access to ordinances and priviledges. His hands are tied on matters like the structure of Sunday and most programmatic decisions, but the freedom is big on issues that really hurt people.
Quote:Now I can just get lost in the shuffle and no one would care I was gone. The ward is too big now. Who cares?
Focus on your character, serving others, in whatever context works for you….
Just my first impression so don’t worry if it doesn’t apply well to your situation. 1) If the LDS church offering in your ward is not adequate for you to continue to feel good about what you receive in exchange for your contribution – you can decrease your contribution until you feel more in balance.
2) If the social programs of the church, scouts – EFY – camp – firesides – etc. are not satisfactory – one can diversify their social interaction through civic and other Christian organizations.
jamison wrote:Part of me worries however, that they would nominate me to make it better, so I will just be quiet at the moment.
3) redouble your commitment and make it better. “Be the change you want to see.”
Problems with the above:
1) If you withdraw some of your contributions of time & money some will become concerned/suspicious.
2) If you diversify your social interactions in other Christian organizations some will become concerned/suspicious. Less so for civic organizations.
3) The hierarchical nature of the church makes creativity and grass roots initiative more difficult. I would hate for you to jump in with your heart and soul and then have the leadership restrict/curtail/ or even reject your efforts.
Just my thoughts. Your own mileage may vary.
Any time a ward changes dramatically, things are unsettled at first – and, sometimes, for quite a while. It’s unavoidable. I know your concerns are legitimate concerns, but my advice right now is to have patience. Patience is a virtue, and virtue means “strength”. There is a lot to learn and gain from experiences like this if you are patient. I’ve been through it; things will settle down eventually.
Roy said: Quote:3) redouble your commitment and make it better. “Be the change you want to see.”
I like that a lot. Maybe there are one or two others that feel the same way & you can use a team approach.
That way you can make a positive difference in your ward but make new social contacts too.
Also, it’s not all on your shoulders. I’ve noticed others in my ward that have done this with the scouting program.
I wish you success which ever course you take.
Thanks for the posts, I ended up having a better experience at Church today. As for the scouting I will wait for the dust to settle and if it doesn’t appear to have fixed itself within a couple of weeks I will reach out to the community. StayLDS.com is great I always appreciate everyone’s thoughtful comments. I think after I vent here I tend to have better Sundays/Church days that follow. Thanks again to all that have posted. I had thought I put in my two cents worth, must have gotten lost in cyberspace. So I’ll try again. Many years ago, as a young single RM, I was in a ward I didn’t like. I didn’t really fit in there, and there was an established population that was not especially welcoming to newcomers. It came to the point where I would make excuses for not going and skipping some Sundays. After a time I realized that the ward had little to do with my salvation, and despite my discomfort I just plowed through and went anyway for what I could get out of it. There were a couple people there who were a little more open and friendly, which did help to make it bearable. This was way before my FC, and to some extent actually helped me when my FC did hit.
When my oldest son turned Scout age the troop in our ward was horrendous. The Scoutmaster at the time, who should have been very good based on his experience growing up in the ward with a great Scoutmaster and being an Eagle Scout, was a very poor excuse for a Scout leader. Activities were almost non-existent, troop meetings were not planned and were disorganized, etc. There was no way for my son to meet the rank advancement requirements in that troop. So we looked at a couple local troops where he had friends from school and picked one we liked. They met on Monday evenings, but that was OK. He generally skipped Wednesday nights in the ward except for joint activities. My second son is 19 months younger than him and we started him in the community troop as well, but shortly thereafter the bishop finally got a clue and called somebody else who actually could and would do the job (he was Scoutmaster in another community troop at the time). If I had to do it over again, I would do the exact same thing.
–I want my comment to address the Scouting portion of your concerns– I find that scouting is very dependent on what the parents put into the program almost as much as the leader directly the program itself. I am currently the leader of the least helped, least cared for part of the scouting program, 11 year olds. Who cares about the 11 year old scouts? Practically no one. They are still in primary, so that puts their funding under the primary program. Yet as an extension, they generally don’t care about the progress because they don’t realize that they are still in charge of those scouts. While the 12-18 has a leader for every age bracket, and a Scoutmaster. The 12-18 year old groups really don’t interact with the 11 year old scouts because they don’t have the priesthood yet. Where does that leave 11 year olds? Lost in the middle because they don’t fit in either place.
As far as the 11 year old scout troop, it can be a great experience, or mediocre. I myself have no kids that are even close to 11. My kids aren’t even in primary. Yet I am the leader (probably because I am an Eagle Scout, and no one else would say yes to the calling). I try my best every week with the 6 kids that I have. My main goal is to progress them to at least Tenderfoot and hopefully 2nd Class. Having to arrange camp-outs, and activities can be tough when doing everything alone. That is why the 11 year old scout’s parents play such a huge role. Without a parent that cares, their kid will never progress. If a kid doesn’t seem to care, or can’t be controlled in meetings, I have to focus on the others that really want to progress and learn. That’s how I plan my meetings as well. So far I am 1-2 on kids getting a rank advancement before turning 12. Soon, I will be a little better at 2-3. But it’s only because those parents cared enough to bring their kid to activities, and help out with camping trips and other events outside the weekly meeting. Hate to sound as I’m venting, but parent help is the key. As soon as the kids hit high school, they had better have a parents guidance, or there is no chance for Eagle. It’s that simple. (At least that is what my parents told me, and why i achieved Eagle before High School, as I never went to another mutual meeting when I was involved in school sports, working, etc…)
I’m of the mind that unless together, we’re going to go forward and do something great for society, I’m not interested in being part of a “social scene” in a ward.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.