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Just read the article: http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html I thought the article was great, if not a bit long. Thanks for posting it Bridget. UPDATE: Spoke to my friend the other night and he apologized for being overly harsh with me on the phone previously. I think part of what made him apologize was that after he came out with the harsh statements in the original phone call, I kind of turned the tables on him. I went on a controlled but polite “offensive” in which I shared with him just how incredibly judgmental he was being. I also quoted a statement I coined earlier on StayLDS that “his righteousness was blinding him” and that he needed to look really hard at himself in that respect — Christ condemned judging others harshly.
As I said earlier, I also reminded him of the priviledge he enjoyed up until now — that HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING — something that is hard to get people to disclose due to fear of judgmentalism in our Church. How in Wards people come out with a torrent of excuses and false reasons why they don’t attend or won’t do certain things — many of them all made up because they are afraid to share their true concerns due to judgmentalism. That if he continued with such judgmentalism he would lose that right — and all the opportunities to address the concerns. That we might have to put a hedge around topics of Church disenchantment or unorthodoxy if it continued.
At the same time, I also acknowledged that I need to be more sensitive when I come out with things that can be considered offensive to someone who is more orthodox in their beliefs. I apologized as I could see how he might perceive me as offensive in being so blunt about what I think.
Anyway, he emerged as a Christlike person and also said he hoped I forgave him, which I said I did wholeheartedly, and then we moved on to other discussion.
I actually felt like I was sort of in the driver’s seat by kindly pointing out the “I’m Christian unless I think you’re apostate” mentality he was showing.
Our relationship with orthodox LDS folk is certainly one that takes careful management. I learned boatloads from this experience and I’m glad that Christian principles took over for both of us.
delete please Yes, I think highlighting his judgmentalism had a real impact on him, and so he apologized. Also, letting him know the priviledge he had of knowing what I was truly thinking, and the possible loss of that priviledge also might have had an impact too. Nonetheless, I value the relationship, and I’m glad he apologized.
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