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red1988 – just to add a comment about declining callings, some of us think that we’ll stand out like a sore thumb, but from friends of mine who’ve served in bishoprics, I’ve heard roughly a third of callings are turned down. That number has been pretty consistent across wards, geographic areas, etc. I couldn’t agree more with ray and everyone else who has shared. Don’t do it.
Seriously.
Cuautemoc wrote:This is why it is nice to have a forum like this! To help me see, that even though I may desire to be upfront and honest in my “dealings with my fellow man”, it may indeed cause me more aggravation and grief than expected. I enjoy the directness of everyone’s responses and it has directed me to reconsider and pause my intended course of action.
Thank You!
Just for the sake of clarity, being honest isn’t antithetical to having discretion.
It isn’t dishonest to withhold information or to selectively disclose details of your life, especially if disclosing them serves no purpose beyond generating conflict.
It’s one thing to respond honestly to a question, as in “
Well, yes, honey, the other jeans are more slimming.”Quite another to offer information which immediately puts another person on the defensive and about which the other person can effect little immediate change, as in “Whew baby, have you put on some weight? Those jeans make your behind look huge!”Both of those statements are honest but only one was necessary. And withholding the unnecessary statement is not dishonest, it it considerate.
I agree with MnG, the church has taught this very concept. So if it is good enough for the church to do, it is good enough for me to do. (not to say I just blindly follow the church example 
Since the advice has been pretty much anonymous I want to add another viewpoint. I directly told my bishop & stake president that I no longer believed. It did have the expected consequences – I was immediately told to stand down as EQP and had my temple recommend taken. The bishop was hostile and the stake president was loving – it almost felt like good cop/bad cop.
I definitely closed some doors (I’m a strong perceiver on MTBI so I generally avoid closing doors), but for me that was the right choice.
bc_pg wrote:…- I was immediately told to stand down as EQP and had my temple recommend taken. …
Wow. Now why does that sound so familiar to me.
Quote:The bishop was hostile and the stake president was loving – it almost felt like good cop/bad cop.
Yeah, except in my case it was the reverse rolls. My BP still wants me…ward/financial clerk was the last calling he offered me. The SP isn’t going to hear it. Actually, he did, and vetoed it, and the BP asked again, and SP sent my case up the food chain to the area authority. That was about three months ago. Haven’t heard a word since.
Knowing how bishops/bps work and SPs work, I honestly don’t believe they script a good cop bad cop scenario in dealing with it. I just think it shows how widely different different local leaders look at things and handle things. And because of that variation, it’s usually not good to roll the dice on speaking up to them, IMO.
Quote:Yeah, except in my case it was the reverse rolls. My BP still wants me…ward/financial clerk was the last calling he offered me. The SP isn’t going to hear it.
I simplified – it was actually the first counselor in the stake presidency who is also in our ward. The weirdest part was that when he came to release me he went on for like 5 minutes about how I was the best EQP the stake had ever had – it was really weird because I was thinking – you remember I just had a long discussion about how I don’t believe any of this and didn’t believe it even before you called me right?
@Heber – I very definitely agree it was not a scripted good cop/bad cop thing. It wasn’t any kind of set up at all – just a tongue in cheek expression on my part. In my case one is legitimately a great person and the other is a (no can’t use that word…no can’t use that word either…) not a very nice person.
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