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I keep a journal, and wrote something about 6 weeks ago about a new mission statement I need to create. In it is a statement about focusing on my relationship with God. Problem is, I tried to sit down and work out what that relationship means to me….and came up empty handed. For so long, a good relationship with God has been associated with obedience to Church commandments and sacrifice for the Church organization. Now that I have distanced myself from that inwardly (while still attending), it seems like there is a gaping hole there. And I’m not even sure how to fill it.
The only thing I have going for me is that I do a weekly act of service to an underpriviledged child, which is my contribution to the world, and which I associate with trying to serve others as God would. So, that is important — beyond that….not sure. Thoughts about how to define what a relationship with God really means to you? Independent of all the cultural shoulds and commandments of our religion?
I have approached it through my New Year’s Resolution focus over the past three years. (Go to my blog and click on the “Resolutions” label at the bottom of the right-hand side of the page. I’ve been cross-posting what I write there over here on the weekends.) In a nutshell, it has been to identify the characteristics of godliness mentioned in our scriptures and ponder / practice one per month – trying only to be a little better (grow a little) in that area than I was at the beginning of the month.
I wish I would have done that in my youth. It has been truly a wonderful experience.
Ben Franklin did the same thing. Although his focus was more daily or weekly, I believe. I had two things I was working on, but I fail miserably at changing them in my character. I find character very hard to change. And the scriptures mostly tell you to change it, and what the goal is, without really getting into the nitty gritties of how to actually change entrenched ways of thinking and believing.
It’s as if I don’t want to go into the character changing quest, focusing more on things I can just DO everyday and consider them completed….
SilentDawning wrote:Thoughts about how to define what a relationship with God really means to you? Independent of all the cultural shoulds and commandments of our religion?
For me it is a cross between born again-ism and LDS. I find much that I like in the popular Christian songs of the day about God loving you anyway – but it is because Christ took away the stain that made you so abhorent to God. Then I mix in the LDS-isms of being literally children of God and divine worth and I come up with a God who loves you anyway. Period! He loves you because he is your Father and will always see the good in you. He does this because of who he is and your relationship with him. He loves you in your inadequacy and that is good news because you will always be inadequate.
This IMO is a strength of the trinity doctrine, that God himself came down to rescue his children.
This may or may not motivate you in your personal growth/change path, but as a relationship – it is very powerful.
It’s difficult to pull away from the scorecard relationship with God. Am I doing enough? Did I do enough good things to counter balance the bad things. Am I a good enough person? I’m actually not about to launch into a wishy-washy cliche about grace.
I would simply like to quote Jesus:
Quote:The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is within you.
In that brief phrase is a powerfully transformative truth.
In pondering my relationship with God, I feel His wonderful love for me as his child. I strive to serve Him and others, as He asks, and I often don’t do that like I truly wish.
But bottom line for me is feeling that He cares….this is of great comfort.
Hi SD, two scriptures come to mind when you refer to our relationship with God:
Mosiah 2:1717 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.
same idea is echoed in this new testament scripture:
Matthew 25:4040 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Christ’s life after he began his mortal ministry was all about service to others. He healed the sick, spent time with the down-trodden, raised the dead, but lastly he died for our sins.
SD, how do you treat people ? From what I gather you give of your time to help an underprivileged child weekly. Isn’t that what Christ would have done ?
As far as I can see you do the things God would do and you deserve to pat yourself on the back for what you do !
:clap: Mike
Thanks Mike. I know that I can’t accept the genetically altered version of service I sometimes hear at Church. I’m musing here, but these are the things that are starting to define my relationship with God:
1. Helping the girl I help with music lessons.
2. I had a strong desire recently to buy her family a house. Not give it to them, but buy one that was suitable for them and let them live there with reduced rent that fits their budget — and fooey on the return on investment — as long as it returns a minimal return (2-4%) I’d be OK with it. The girl in the family is highly organized and they are overcrowded in their two bedroom apartment. Their mother works two jobs, and unasked, she helps clean our house now and then free of charge when my wife is not around. That’s not my motive — but it shows their desire to put in when they receive, and their level of responsibility. They are a good, hardworking family trying to be self-sufficient but simply lack resources due to a divorce and lack of education. I admire them and would like to help their personal circumstances.
There is another recently divorced mother who is in very similar circumstasnces. I would love to see their lives blessed wtih greater order and a sense of peace from having comfortable surroundings in an single family home ….I just wish my job was more stable so I could do so without jeopardizing home base. Fortunately, prices are so low you can get into a property for very little money these days.
3. Service to my children. In marriages where things chug along well, this may not be viewed as service, but one thing that helps me survive is the act of knowing my presence as a stable father who teaches and trains them will provide them with a foundation for the rest of their life. I view my continued presence in the marriage as an act of service.
4. Putting my project management talents to work in a community organization such as the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Something that helps my son. He learned about he new artificial pancreas that has been approved in other countires (says my wife, I haven’t read anything official) and he came to me with hope today in Sacrament meeting. To provide him with that comfort — would be deeply meaningful.
But I know this — service to the Church in the form of badgering the less actives, driving across town to set up chairs, home teaching people who don’t want to be home taught or being part of the Church’s sales/missionary force, or even giving huge sums of money that have no direct, measureable benefit — for now, aren’t on the list anymore. The service needs to have REAL impact on the personal lives of the individuals — and it doesn’t have to be connected to the Church anymore.
How liberating it is to be able to say that!!!
Quote:4. Putting my projeect management talents to work in a community organization such as the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Something that helps me son. He learned about he new artificial pancreas that has been approved in other countires (says my wife, I haven’t read anything official) and he came to me with hope. To provide him with that comfort — would be deeply meaningful.
I had that exact same conversation with my diabetic son this past week. It’s a small world.
As to “real” service, in HPG lesson today, we talked about the real reason for the season – and it was a bit awkward at times but a very good lesson overall. I mentioned that I am bothered that nearly all of our activities are focused on us sitting around socializing with each other and not getting out into the community to help those nobody else will serve. It was interesting to hear the positive reactions from everyone – and I hope it can be the start of an actual change in how our ward handles organized activities. I hope I don’t forget to talk with the other leaders in the ward and make the same point to them – since I can’t pass the buck and the blame if it doesn’t happen with only one comment in a room full of old men. I need to do what it takes to talk with others, as well.
Quote:As to “real” service, in HPG lesson today, we talked about the real reason for the season – and it was a bit awkward at times but a very good lesson overall. I mentioned that I am bothered that nearly all of our activities are focused on us sitting around socializing with each other and not getting out into the community to help those nobody else will serve. It was interesting to hear the positive reactions from everyone – and I hope it can be the start of an actual change in how our ward handles organized activities. I hope I don’t forget to talk with the other leaders in the ward and make the same point to them – since I can’t pass the buck and the blame if it doesn’t happen with only one comment in a room full of old men. I need to do what it takes to talk with others, as well.
That is where the service rubber meets the road. Tangible blessings in the lives of people, now. Actual impact on the physical world…or people’s inner peace….I actually don’t like doing service projects only at Christmas. I would rather they were done regularly throughout the year so they show constancy of character and sustained effort.
Brian Johnston wrote:It’s difficult to pull away from the scorecard relationship with God. Am I doing enough? Did I do enough good things to counter balance the bad things. Am I a good enough person?
And where does the litany of Church prescriptions fall into this introspection for you Brian? I’m just curious, and not challenging anything. Simply curious, as that question has been part of my sorting process lately.
SilentDawning wrote:And where does the litany of Church prescriptions fall into this introspection for you Brian?
I don’t feel responsible anymore to accomplish every nice idea that other people at Church can dream up. Their buffet has too much food to eat it all. At some point, I just became comfortable with making those boundaries. I have X amount of time I can give to Church programs and service. When I over extended that too much in the past, I became bitter about it. That doesn’t provide me a spiritual benefit, and it might not provide the recipient a benefit either sometimes. When I do what I can, and what “the spirit” prompts me to spend my time on, I am happy about it and very uplifted by giving my time, talents and resources. It’s good to be stretched and challenged a bit too.
I do lots of stuff outside the official Church channels too. That is very rewarding. I listen to the spirit and try to be a good steward — investing my talents wisely. It’s win-win in that configuration.
At some point too, I came to the deep internal realization that I am OK. I’m not perfect. I am still flawed, but my heart is almost always in the right place. Doing good and making the world better consumes me. Whatever God wants to do with me in the end, I’m cool with it. I’m good enough. I’m satisfied with what I do, generally. Or I accept that I have made cost/benefit choices and accept the costs. Me and the Big Boss in the sky are at peace with each other.
Brian Johnston wrote:SilentDawning wrote:When I over extended that too much in the past, I became bitter about it. That doesn’t provide me a spiritual benefit, and it might not provide the recipient a benefit either sometimes.
Got it. I think I’m on that plan now. Overcommitment can kill ya if you let it. I know that first hand. I like what you said, and your attitude.
It has a kind of “I’m saved already so I love myself” ring to it — although i recognize that’s not what you meant or are implying. In the Church, this “saved after we are all we can do” maxim makes you feel like you’re always over a barrel. We need more self-acceptance for what we can give without feeling like a half-miler — at least, that’s what I have needed.
And guess what, next time I’m asked to take on something that really hurts, and I don’t want to give it, and they come out with the pressure to serve anyway, I may come out with the quote from Joseph Smith that the ‘no unhallowed hand can stop the work of God, it will roll forward until it has visited every clime and every continent and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done’.
Brian Johnston wrote:
At some point too, I came to the deep internal realization that I am OK….This is key. I’m getting there.
cwald wrote:Brian Johnston wrote:
At some point too, I came to the deep internal realization that I am OK….This is key. I’m getting there.
What was key in leading you there Brian? I want to be there too. Right now my boundaries are motivated by self-protection, some indignation, as well as sheer burn-out. I feel that I’m taking a risk in being so contrarion, and see local leaders partly as adversaries. Hate to say it, but that’s how I feel.
I would much rather my interactions were simply an expression of love and goodness and self-acceptance — so, how did you get to this point of feeling deeply OK, in spite of all the shoulds, the judging, the blinders people adopt to maintain their inner peace?
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