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I would like to say that the Scriptures are true and I don’t hope for courage anymore, i don’t have right to hope for courage after what I did. You may say that I want to be a the worst petson in the world and become a super star in this but that’s what’s happen. I couldn’t be more idle in my life and I think I lost my power and willingness to obtain glory. I don’t believe any sin (or sins) is unforgivable in this life or the next. Though your sins are like scarlet [a permanent red dye], they shall be like snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. Hi Lukkaz, I am very sorry for what you are going through.
I can only speak from my perspective and my experience. I do know that as I have aged, I look back at some of the stuff that I beat myself up for as a young man and I feel like I was entirely too hard on myself. I went through an entirely normal process of experimentation, rebelling against authority, and developing independence from my parents to include discovering my own personal identity. In retrospect, I was just growing up.
I hope that you can cut yourself some slack. You do not to have everything figured out just yet. Slow it down and take a breathe.
Please, if you can, seek professional counseling help. There is no shame in doing so, and hopelessness is something that can be addressed and helped by a good counselor. Welcome, Lukkaz. You seem to be in a lot of pain. I wish I could be more supportive. In order for us to do that we need to understand what you’re going through. I encourage you to write an Introduction & give us more background. This is a good
forum to discuss some of our deepest issues, concerns & problems. You are going to find there is a least one other person
(probably more than one) who has experienced similar situations as you. You can be as open or anonymous as you want to be.
It becomes easier over time.
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