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Some posts should be shared simply because they are stunning in their simplicity and power. “Happy Birthday” (
http://bycommonconsent.com/2014/12/08/happy-birthday/ )Ray…thanks. This post touched me very deeply. It touches the very essence of why I stay, despite my personal situation and thoughts in my life. Quote:And though my religious dissonance hasn’t let up over the year, I do believe in community. I believe in belonging to a people and having experiences together–from attending a baptism to long lines at the Pioneer Day Pancake feast. I believe in the communal practice of the sacrament–a public pledge that we will try to take care of one another and forgive one another as we forgive ourselves. I believe in visiting teaching–feeding a family pots of soup and breadsticks as their loved one slips into the next life, or arriving at the door of a new mother with nourishment for her recovering body. I believe in communal care. I believe in donating means into an account used to help people pay their mortgages. I believe in ward families. I believe in ward temple trips. I believe in ward fasts. I believe Elder Uchtdorf when he says there is a place for everyone here.
(I still don’t, however, believe in ward Trunk-or-Treats. Just want to get that on the record.)
And I believe in celebrating the birthdays of the ward members, because that’s what families do. We celebrate one another. And when we celebrate each other we also celebrate the gospel that runs through our stories–contouring into our souls the very lines that make us human today and divine the next.
I would also add…families have problems, and quibbles, and hurt feelings. But you grow and bond by working through them. There are also family members that can become toxic. Truly toxic, that you simply can’t be around them and sometimes need space from the family in sad situations. It isn’t always happy birthday notes and callings that utilize our talents.
But it is what I want to strive for.
I love this post. Thanks again for sharing.
Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed this story–I have only recently begun to carve a place for myself in the ward and it is a good feeling. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
It reminds me of a conversation I had with my ex-boss. She’s a Christian, non-member, and I grew to trust her after she made some very kind, and purely optional, service-oriented investments in me as an employee….we still keep in touch even though she left our company. She offerred me my pick of three different jobs in a new company she has joined, at one point, but I wasn’t able to accept any of them due to golden handcuffs at work… Anyway, back to the point — we were talking the other day about how she believes in serving others for its own sake. She does free consulting, for example.
Out of the blue, she then said she disagreed with my decision recently to reduce my involvement in the LDS Church. (I told her that my community service was a substitute for church service while I retool my relationship with the church). She cited examples of how her pure service comes back to her in so many ways — not in artificial mysterious ways I can’t verify. But in tangible ways that are meaningful to her. She thought I should still maintain those relationships in my church, and continue to serve there, as it comes back many-fold.
She hit me between the eyes with a very personal example. She cited the fact that at that very moment, she was in my home, and I was training her, free of charge, how to do some business intelligence work with a large database she had to work with in her new job. How I had previously commented that I wanted to help her as reciprocation for all the kindness she showed me when I was one of her direct reports. How she was overwhelmed in her new job (one that I know she is not qualified for). I called her to talk, she shared her challenges in her new job, and then I offered train her. And there I was — right where, and when she needed me — training her in what she needed to know in her new job. She felt this was God rewarding her for her pure service to myself and others.
She said — you should keep up your service in the LDS community — for its own sake.
I realized that yes, I had, in fact, rejected the LDS community — at least, in my home ward. I’m ready to fire away at a moments notice if they come at me for a high profile calling, gently citing the leadership abuse I’ve experienced. Willing to be relcalcitrant next time they want me to do something. Willing to give them a bit of a gentleman’s lecture on how to work with volunteers. In fact, I did it recently with a friend who found himself in our local Stake Presidency last month.
I’ve even considered going back to my home ward, and possibly doing something there given her comments. But not sure about how to make it work….
But I think it bears on the idea of pure service, pure religion — service for its own sake, with spin-off, tangible blessings in the form of unexpected reciprocity….Not that one should expect reciprocity, but she sure did show me how it worked in my case given her pure service to myself.
If there is one thing I will never regret about my church experience (there are quite a few, now that I think about them), it is the numerous moments of service opportunities that I have had throughout the years. Bringing dinner to a neighbor who’s teenager committed suicide, meals to another neighbor who’s mother finally lost her long battle with cancer…we’ve lost so many wonderful people in our neighborhood, and I feel like I would not know them as well as I had if I hadn’t had the church community, nor would I have had the opportunities to help them in some of the darkest times of their life. Service and that community is, I am realizing, one of a few core reasons why I doubt I will ever leave the church. I love, love this thread. Thank you.
I was (actually am at this moment) listening to a Mormon Matters podcast on “gospel burnout.” One item that they mentioned was that Mother Teresa felt that she had a 40-year stint where she didn’t feel like she felt God talking to her as much as she used to. 40 years! and those years are when she was in India. Talk about some stamina to do the right thing no matter how you feel! I have a book on Mother Teresa and I hope I get some time to read it.
Mother Teresa is one of my Gospel heroes. (Threadjack): Ironically, just to say it, Mormon theology allows for her to receive the greatest reward possible, while much of Protestantism condemns her to Hell. That sort of expansive grace is one of my favorite aspects of Mormon theology, even if I believe it is not understood and accepted by many members (and is by many others).
/ Back to the point of the thread.
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