Religion’s place in my life

[Anonymous]

If you are interested, my Mormon Matters post is up today, so here is the url:

http://mormonmatters.org/2009/02/12/the-role-of-the-church-in-the-pursuit-of-righteousness-why-it-works-for-some-and-not-for-others/

[Anonymous]

Thanks, everyone, for your suggestions. I visited my home ward today for the first time in a little while, and it went pretty well. Sacrament meeting was a really lovely “Musical Testimony Meeting” where anyone could come up and bare a short testimony and hymn, then we would all sing the hymn. Relief Society was “The Bitter Fruits of Apostacy” lesson. I just borrowed a pen from a friend and scribbled notes to myself and tried to focus on keeping calm. I kept in mind that I don’t have to agree with peoples opinions, and that’s okay. I wish that I could of offered a comment to try and steer the conversation in a more charitable direction, but I was too jittery and distracted to really come up with something productive to offer. But, I tried. Maybe another day.

All in all though, it was one of my better days at church, and I didn’t feel the need to leave any of my lessons, which is nice. I also found that I was comfortable talking with the other members and chatting with them in a non-doctrinal, friendly way, which was nice. I feel like I confuse people, because when I attend I act as if I’m there all the time (talking with the people I know by name and drawing out the ones I don’t by asking them about themselves) but then at the same time am inactive and not there often. Oh well…

It also helped that I attended an activist’s conference at the U yesterday, where I made some connections with other BYU students who share my interests and concerns, as well as reconnected with some people I’ve met through the SL Quaker meetings. Having been in a social environment where I was somewhere on a scale from “normal” to “conservative” the day before, I think also helped me feel more calm at church today.

Ray- I’ve made a pact to not read blogs until I’ve caught up with some assignments. So, it may be a little while, but that’ll certainly be at the top of my to-read list. Thank you, in advance!

[Anonymous]

Valoel- I really like the “It is just a church” mantra. I’d honestly never thought of that before, which seems strange now.

Nonny- That’s what I’m trying to learn how to do right now, to set the boundaries. I think that I am starting to learn, as I didn’t feel compelled to pipe up when my father started in on “It’s all true or all false” and how I should’ve worked all this out when I was 14, just like Joseph did. I feel like it’s finally starting to dawn, “They don’t have to understand. It’s okay. They care about me, and that’s enough.” I was able to just listen, and thank him for his concern. I didn’t have to explain that even if I stay with the church I won’t see it as an all or nothing dichotomy. I didn’t have to explain that I feel I built a good foundation during my teen years and that my wanderings now are an extension of that, rather than a sign of weakness. That’s perhaps a slightly different sort of boundary than you are speaking of. It was more a boundary that I didn’t need to cross. Hopefully with some more time, I’ll learn how to place boundaries for others. Those’re little more intimidating.

Thanks HappyMom- I agree, I also think that our Heavenly Parents want the church to be a blessing. I suppose part of that is me allowing it to be a blessing, which might at times mean stepping back a bit.

[Author]

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