Remembering Garrett- by former US Senator G. H. Smith

[Anonymous]

Remembering Garrett is subtitled “one family’s battle with a child’s depression”

The book is written from the perspective of Gordon Smith (LDS) the father of Garrett. Garrett committed suicide after a long bout with undiagnosed manic depression.

This book first came to my attention because Bro. Smith was the featured speaker at the national conference of Compassionate Friends (a group for grieving parents). As he spoke, I picked up that he was LDS and that intensified my interest as my special interest is how persons with LDS frameworks respond to grief. He essentially gave an abbreviated form of the book. Bro. Smith went on to champion a bill (Garrett Lee Smith Memorial Act) to provide more money for education, testing, and early diagnosis of mental illness.

In his speech he essentially said that he felt God had sent Garrett to this family to be the catalyst for this legislation. This is not exactly my cup of tea but I can see how this would give meaning and purpose to an otherwise senseless tragedy, that Garrett will live on not only in spirit but that many others that suffer as he did will receive help in his name. As I read the book I looked for confirmation of this theory, I found the following:

“We believe his unforgettable story will encourage every person who learns of it to support the search for greater knowledge and remedies. We think God brought Garrett to Gordon and Sharon Smith for precisely that purpose.” Preface

“I left Eugene determined to find meaning in Garrett’s life by doing everything in my power to help others who were afflicted as he was.” P.148

“Perhaps part of Garrett’s purpose in life, I wondered, was to help his father to understand and to achieve this (the bill) for him and others.” p.165

“Perhaps he came to us for a special reason and now we are expected to find ways to keep his goodness alive.” p. 180

In this situation there was the added burden of guilt and confusion at how this beautiful boy could end his own life. The answer that the Smiths have accepted doesn’t fit well with a viewpoint of untrammeled agency, but it might be true nonetheless:

“He (Garrett’s psychiatrist) begged me to believe that Garrett had not killed himself to hurt me or because of me, but because he was gravely ill, most likely manic-depressive. Sufferers of this debilitating malady often have a chemical imbalance of the brain because of insufficient serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps control mood and the mind. Such conditions are often lethal because they create in the sufferer mental anguish that can no longer be endured, a despair that goes beyond despair, unimaginable to those who have never experienced it.”

“Suicide is not beholden to an evening’s promise, nor does it always harken to plans drawn up in lucid moments and banked in good intentions.”

I do not believe situations like this can be easily categorized and put in boxes. For example it would be overly simplistic (and mean) to say that Garrett was going to hell as a suicide.

What does one do with scriptures that say God will not try us beyond our ability to endure it?

I do not know the answers. I have attempted to find meaning in my own life and I respect and admire the Smith family’s attempt to find meaning that comforts them and perchance even galvanizes them in this hour of darkness. I feel a love for them in their struggles with grief, an empathy that is born of our shared and fragile human state.

[Anonymous]

I struggle with this question on a regular basis. One of my friends will go to great lengths to come up with stories wherein God takes an active role in everything, to explain how each specific circumstance has this or that purpose or meaning, and to retroactively create myths about how God did this because we did that. While I can accept God’s being involved in everything, since that’s as reasonable a supposition as any, I reject (mentally, at least) all the other particulars. To me, it just seems silly. But for some personality types, it seems that this kind of myth creation is really important.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

But for some personality types, it seems that this kind of myth creation is really important.

Bingo.

It’s also important to admit that our own constructions might be just as “mythical” in the end – and I don’t use “mythical” to mean “false” or “wrong”.

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

Quote:

But for some personality types, it seems that this kind of myth creation is really important.

Bingo.

It’s also important to admit that our own constructions might be just as “mythical” in the end – and I don’t use “mythical” to mean “false” or “wrong”.

Agreed. By ‘”myth” I didn’t intend to imply that there was anything inherently wrong with the stories we sometimes create, just to emphasize the unknowable-ness of it all. The fact that they sometimes seem silly to me is purely a reflection of my personality type, I think. For example, I just had a discussion (probably not the right word) with this person the other day about degrees of glory and who goes where, etc, and I was unable to do anything but smile and nod because it all seemed so pointless and speculative, but to this person it had real meaning. I need to learn to do better at smiling and nodding.

[Anonymous]

Interesting.

I have great respect for Gordon Smith, and was truly thankful that he decided to stay in politics after the death of his son. I have not read his book, but from my visits with him, and from his voting record here in Oregon, I get the impression he is a man of great faith and certainly follows the dictates of his own conscience regardless of what the church might say about it.

Legends has it that GBH personally talked to GS and asked him to stay in the senate after the suicide.

[Anonymous]

cwald wrote:

Legends has it that GBH personally talked to GS and asked him to stay in the senate after the suicide.

I think the relevant portion of the book is worth citing here:

G. H. Smith wrote:

(GBH) He told us that, while he did not know Garrett, our Father in heaven did; that God understood Garrett’s capacities and limitations, his afflictions and infirmaties. his heart and mind. He assured us that Garrett was in the arms of his Heavenly Father, and that his mind was now calm and clear. He reminded us that the Lord himself had suffered all things in the flesh, even our pains and sickness, so that he could care for all, even Garrett, in the courts of mercy and justice.

” pg 125-6

What a wonderfly Staylds type answer, I love GBH!

G. H. Smith wrote:

(Elder James E. Faust, a democrat) On the third call he told me he felt moved to inquire about my feelings and intentions…I shared with him my thoughts about resignation…”that’s what I thought you’d say,” he responded. “Now you listen to me, Senator, and you listen to me good! The devil knows you’re down and you’ve just given me his line. You need to fully grieve for Garrett and get back to work! You are needed, and your children need more than your time, they need most to see your good example, especially now!”

” Pg 130

So it would seem that the legend is based in truth, GBH did call at least once and Elder Faust called at least 3 times and during one such call “He verbally grabbed (Bro. Smith) by the lapels and gave him a good shaking.” :angel:

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