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though, i am not active, i think it is important to remember the good memories of past church involvement instead of dwelling on the negative bad memories of church that i have had. i think i have gotten over the bad past events that lead to my church inactivity but even if i did re-activate i’m afraid that it might not be that easy for me to stay active. i think the major reason i stay inactive is i feel i don’t fit in. anyway, the major reason i am beginning this thread is to share good memories and encourage other less-active, inactive persons to do the same – so here goes:
at 16 years of age and at various times through my church-active life:
i attended a temple trip with youth from my stake and it was amazing how much the Holy Ghost’s influence was felt on that trip. i have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost many times in my years as an active member. I remember feeling an abundance of the Spirit at a young single adult conference i attended in Ohio in 93. i think over the years, the common denominator in all my good memories was feeling the Holy Spirit, reminding me of the Divine watching over us.
i may not have those experiences now, but i still remember them, and that’s why i still believe in the church while others, for whatever reason, do not. i guess God has blessed me in that sense. my activity struggles has had a lot to do with fitting in socially. i think i am more socially adept than i was during my active years.
it’s great to have acceptance in the church. it makes staying active soooo much easier. i remember my social falling out with one ward i belonged to. i didn’t stop attending because i didn’t believe anymore. i stopped attending because i wasn’t happy socially in that ward any longer. you could argue i didn’t really fail to endure unto the end. i stopped attending for social reasons, not doctrinal reasons. i think God would be merciful to me but i know i still have work to do in my spiritual progress in life. re-establishing a church life in the lds community i think is one of them. someday it will happen but it will be when i feel ready for it.
Thanks for sharing those thoughts and for starting this thread. Like you, I have fond memories in my youth of temple visits and scout campouts and good friends in the church. BYU was a great place for me, and I loved that experience. Serving a mission gave me a very unique experience to meet people and do things I would not have otherwise had the opportunity to do.
I also am grateful for those good memories, and hold them sacred to me as part of my life.
I also have good memories of things recently, where I’ve learned new things, studied new ideas outside the church, met interesting people with interesting ideas online, and I’m glad I’m at where I’m at now.
I don’t really look back on my fond memories wishing I could go back there, I am just glad I have those and move forward hoping to make new memories where I’m going. It’s all good.
:thumbup: Funny. I’m still active but I don’t have any memories of church experiences that I particularly cherish. My first scout camp experience was so abysmal that I never went to another one again. (I still hate camping). I remember the one temple trip I took as being crowded into a hotel room with a bunch of adolescent boys who watched TV until 1 in the morning. I don’t remember it being particularly spiritual. I have a couple of nice memories of seminary and one particular Sunday School teacher when I was about 14 or 15 who I remember well. He wasn’t a very good teacher as I recall but he LIKED us and we could tell. So much so that he kept teaching our class for a month after he moved out of our ward boundaries. I remember a Primary teacher who was the kindest woman I think I ever met teaching us lessons that rendered up rapt in attention. Hmmm. I guess I do have a few good memories. Just took a little searching to find. I have fond memories of a Ward that really did their callings. They were mostly wealthy professionals, but there was no ego in it. They were wonderful people who just DID. Not a lot of deep friendship, but it was refreshing just to see the Church working like it’s supposed to. I need to be in a Ward like that. Anytime you want to move, SD, let me know. I can make some suggestions for wards like that. (only half kidding 🙂 )I used to love going to the temple. Just being in the Celestial Room without any other concern in the world was a wonderful thing, and something I dearly miss. I clearly remember walking along a dirt road on my mission and looking up at the bright stars on a moonless night and the feeling coming over me how I knew why we are here, the purpose of our lives and how it all fit together so beautifully. I miss that, too. I remember the emotion of having a prayer answered, when I sought to know if the BofM were true. I never pray anymore. I remember the excitement of hearing a prophet speak in person, but he’s gone now, and I’ve lost the excitement. I remember home teaching with my dad, playing games with friends out on the church lawn after mutual, the first time I taught someone to pray, big family dinners on fast sundays, giving a blessing to a child while concerned parents looked on, embracing a man that I’d baptized when I visited him a year later, family home evening when my kids were little, a favorite religion class at BYU, my first kiss (at a stake dance), prayer with about 40 missionaries every night at the MTC, being baptized, a particularly fun camp-out when I was a priest, standing next to my wife who was so beautiful in her wedding dress in front of the temple; unable to wipe the smile off my face. It’s why I can’t be against the church. It was the fuel that provided happiness for most of my life.
As most of you know, I have way too many good memories (both old and brand new) to list here. Yes, there are things that frustrate me to some degree (and, in some cases, to a great degree), but the VAST majority of my memories are good. As I’ve said multiple times, I think that probably is because I had to accept and “get over” being different and thinking differently than everyone else around me at a very, very young age – so I gained peace in my heterodoxy at a very young age, as well. There’s a real advantage to being an odd duck for as long as I can remember – and even my wife asked me a few days ago, while we talking about a doctrine- / policy-related question via Skype, “
Where did you come from?!?!” She was laughing while she said it, but she was largely serious, just the same – since she knows nobody in either of our families sees that issue the way I do (and even she had never thought about it the way I explained it to her). As a convert for a huge number of years who still thinks like a convert, the good memories are what helps me to stay. And thinking of the good people who try so hard every day balances out the handful who had a very negative effect upon our family. I am a lifer, but as I reflect on my time since childhood, including a mission, BYU, temple marriage, etc., I cannot think of any particularly positive experiences in Church. But I don’t really blame the Church for that. I simply have a very hard time enjoying other people, whether LDS, or otherwise. I’m not really a social dud, most people find me pleasant to be around, thoughtful, and sometimes reassuring, but mostly quiet. I just don’t know what emotional needs I have that can be filled by others. That said, I do love my wife and am glad I’m married to her (we have no kids). All that I did before my disaffection from the Church was mostly out of a sense of satisfying expectations, living in a predominantly LDS community in Idaho. The Church was just like wall paper to me. I just didn’t even recognize there were other options. After going AWOL from Church for 17 years. God subtly, but fairly clearly led me back to it. First to introduce myself to my bishop. I had 3 “conferences” with him, sharing what my gripes about the Church was, and he mostly agreed!!! (and this was in SLC). Shortly thereafter, I became engaged to a long term friend (who was a temple worker) who asked only that I talk to the Bp. about what it might take to get a temple recommend so we could get married there. She hastened to add that that was not a requirement for us to get married there. Well, all he asked was that I start attending church, at least occasionally, start wearing G’s again (Aaaarrrrgggg), and pay tithing. We got married in the Temple, I moved far away to where she lived, and slowly (over the last 18 years since) have been activating myself. I have slowly come to realize there are really some good people in Church, but more importantly, I am very clear that I need and want to be in Church. It just feels right, so I go. No wonderful experiences, but just a quiet knowing that I need other people and they need me.
I have really been in a love/hate relationship with my fellow Saints pretty much my whole life. My home ward, I mostly loved. They were eccentric, mostly democrat, socio-economically diverse, irreverent, welcoming, ignorant, and outspoken to the point of rudeness. When I went to BYU I hated the church culture. People seemed self-righteous, vacuous, provincial, marriage-crazy, superficial, judgmental, snobby, and the women were dressed like accent tables that had big hair. I mostly loved my fellow missionaries when I was serving. People were authentic, depressed, enthusiastic, dishonest, sarcastic, fun, and just real. But I’ve also been (as an adult) in wards that seemed uneducated, lacking in creativity or interesting comments, disconnected from reality, sexist, lazy, or entitled. Basically, people are people I guess. I too have great experiences from my lifetime in the church, things that keep me coming back, although I sometimes ask myself “Can you feel so now?” I think this stuff is situational. Not every day is like Moses and the burning bush. That’s why those experiences stand out – they are rare.
Dash – thanks for sharing. I don’t hear from you much at this site. great to hear your story. Mike(BLC)
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