Return and report about church today

[Anonymous]

Because we had Stake Coference last week, we had F&T meeting today – with one speaker first. Interesting, to say the least.

The speaker is a very good man, but I didn’t like most of his talk. Too many stereotypes. I also don’t like men telling women what it means to be a good woman. That wasn’t his intent (really, a good man), but it was the practical result. The testimony part was a mixed bag. We have too many children speak on a regular basis, and I don’t like military / attack language when dealing with the family, which happened in two testimonies. Otoh, two people mentioned specifically how wonderful it is that we all are different – and the Bishop’s wife mentioned how much of a struggle parenting has been for her. She is a sweet woman, and her testimony was a highlight of the meeting.

My wife and I are attending Gospel Principles right now, since we serve with the YSA, and I enjoy it – even with relatively simple instruction. It gives me a place to contribute in an inclusive way that I enjoy.

HPG meeting was very good. We have a loving HPGL and a good group of loving men, by and large.

[Anonymous]

SM:

1) The stripling warriors were not mentioned. :thumbup:

2) One woman speaker talked about suffering from postpartum depression, the anxiety of being a new mother, and falling into the trap of believing she was never good enough as a mother. She also talked about how family and recognizing god’s grace helped her. I loved the talk. I like it when we talk about reality at church. I can do without the stories of perfect moms teaching their perfect children so they can have perfect outcomes to their perfect battles (another stripling dig ). That type of perfection doesn’t resonate with me. I’d rather come to church and see a face, not a façade.

3) The final speaker talked a little about gender roles but ended with talking about the sacrifices that his mother made for his family and acknowledged the sacrifices his wife makes.

SS:

1) Although I know not the number I can say with certainty that many a candy was crushed.

PH:

1) There was a standard question that perhaps had a standard answer but I liked it. “How does knowing that you are a child of god help you do missionary work?” Ugh, right? One answer, “we’re all equal.” They expounded on the thought more than I did here but I liked the comment. Mormon doctrines do point people toward equality, even if we lag a little in our practices. As a man thinketh, so does he. Equality is a good thought.

[Anonymous]

SM: Two speakers, new couple missionary in our ward. There was time purposely saved at the end for mother’s gift bags (which are given to all sisters). We also started a bit late because there was no sacrament bread. First speaker (the sister) talked about mothers in the scriptures. It was a good overall talk, but she did tend to speak in her Primary voice to the mostly adult crowd and she repeatedly did something I haven’t heard in a long time: “Let’s turn to XX chapter X verse X, which she repeated once or twice just so everybody knew and took her dear sweet time getting to it herself even though she had it bookmarked. But the talk was fine, she did mention Mary and by default Christ – and she hit the obligatory stripling warriors. The Primary sang “Mother I Love You” and her husband spoke. I actually tuned him out pretty quickly, but I don’t recall why and frankly can’t recall a word he said there. I did not crush any candy or fling any birds, though, I read scripture.

SS: Had a great talk about missionaries with a couple who are also forward thinkers, and we all agreed how archaic only calling twice a year is and that perhaps things would be better if that was relaxed. She said her dad called her several times on her mission and if she protested he would tell her fathers trump mission presidents. Her father recently passed away. We were interrupted by the bishop who none of us try to get cornered by and he babbled on a bit about what a nice nursing home his father is in. We ended up getting a dinner invite, to which I look forward.

PH: The Elder who spoke in SM was also the HP instructor of the day, a couple from the elders quorum who didn’t desire to go to Primary joined us in HP but didn’t say anything (although I think one really wanted to). The lesson was about missionary work (#8, taking the gospel to all the world) and after the old guy went on a bit about pioneers (I don’t know why) he pointed out that he thought what HWH saw was the advent of the internet, even though the lesson manual wants us to think it was the fall of communism in Europe. He admitted that could be, too, but the internet is bringing more people to “the gospel” and he was working in IT before it was IT and knew technology to be the Lord’s way of hastening the work. He hit on some more points and the young missionaries who also joined us talked about this new thing they learned from a broadcast a few months ago about how much more effective member referrals are than tracting. I looked around the room, and seeing there were only two of us in there who had served missions I said to the other guy “Elder Jones, isn’t that what they taught you 30 years ago?” to which he replied, yes and made a joke about the ward mission president being the one responsible for that. Our WML is a nice guy but he’s a buffoon. Anyway, the lesson ended with the old missionary telling us about some event on his trip that made him positive the Lord looks after us even in the tiniest things (it wasn’t finding lost car keys but it was close to that) yada yada yada, the end. I scurried out so I could be sure to be home for my son’s Skype (which was far and away the highlight of at least the last several months).

[Anonymous]

We went camping this weekend with a Mormons In Transition group. 11 families. A HUGE number of children. It was an absolute blast. The group was staying until Sunday afternoon. We wanted to get back in time for DH to teach HP. We ended up coming back really late last night due to…

This morning, DH was sad about going to church without me. I ended up joining him for the last part of sacrament meeting. As we walked to SS, he told me that he was okay with me leaving if I wanted to go. I did. I left.

DH came home with a chocolate bar for me from the RS. He looked like a mighty hunter returning.

Ran into a church friend in the hall. The wife is one of the few in the ward who I consider as a real friend .. Not just a “church friend.” As a couple, they were just called as Ward Missionaries. All I could do was tell them that I didn’t want to be on their “list”. The husband is currently one of our Home Teachers. We had the same guy for over 7 years as a home teacher. He came every month for SEVEN YEARS. I quit going to church and BOOM .. He gets his HT route changed .. And now we have someone who has stronger social connections to us. Instead of feeling love and concern, it feels like social manipulation.

[Anonymous]

amateurparent wrote:

We went camping this weekend with a Mormons In Transition group. 11 families. A HUGE number of children. It was an absolute blast.

Glad you had a good time.

amateurparent wrote:

DH came home with a chocolate bar for me from the RS. He looked like a mighty hunter returning.

How nice of him. What a good hubby.

[Anonymous]

amateurparent wrote:

DH came home with a chocolate bar for me from the RS. He looked like a mighty hunter returning.

Hey, don’t knock the effort, it can be challenging.

DW stayed at home because she wasn’t feeling well. It was my job to bring that little baggie of candy home to her and I had to fend off multiple children that were clawing and grabbing for it, including my own kid. Some kids I’ve never even seen before were acting very entitled to my little baggie of candy. 😯 They are children.

The chocolate made it home, unmelted even. I may not be a mighty hunter but I will accept the title of Mighty Gatherer: The Spoiled Child Denier.

Perhaps the biggest miracle was that I didn’t dig into the candy myself. A rare showing of self restraint. I’m a spoiled child at heart.

[Anonymous]

This is my report for Priesthood meeting yesterday.

The lesson was on tithing.

I did speak up & I was diplomatic. Thanks to everyone on this board.

There were (2) points that I thought was important to bring up.

1. One member of our group talked about how he was going to pay tithing on the sale of some stocks. So I asked the question: if we pay tithing on

stock gains can we deduction losses? No one responded. The point I was making was that the calculation of tithing is not always easy as using 10%

of gross = tithe.

2. The point was made that the blessings that come with paying your tithing. My point was that this was a dangerous principle. The assumption is

that no bad things will happen if you pay your tithing. Another point: blessings come to members who’s offering are acceptable to God. Bad things

happen to members who’s offering are not accepted.

There wasn’t a lot of deep discussion. I didn’t really expect any. But it did allow me to vent to a small degree & not spout the standard “company line”.

[Anonymous]

In my high priest group it’s like that Minyan — everyone is kind of there to just fulfil their commitment to being a high priest and there isn’t very much discussion. Very low engagement. They used to come partially alive when I would rock the boat years ago, without sinking the ship, but no one rocks the boat anymore.

For my Sunday, I was a co-organizer of a Health Fair and Music Festival event with a non-profit I started, and a partner organization. I had to pull an all-nighter the night before due to lack of volunteers in certain positions, and came home completely worn out physically, but spiritually satisfied.

There was a very good feeling among all the volunteers about what they accomplished, hugs all around, pictures, and wanting to do it again. I would ask someone politely to do something and they would go away and do it with excellence, humility and a good heart. I have learned to be very careful who I ask to do what, so the task is something my judgment tells me fits their personality and role on the team (they give me a questionnaire they fill out in the beginning that helps me delegate and understand why they serve). I make sure all my requests start with “would you be willing to”, “how would you feel about doing….” So agency is respected and never does anyone feel they must act out of a sense of duty. They are looking forward to an after-action meeting where we evaluate the whole thing. And I had one person pretty much in charge of everything leaving me free to focus on a couple technical tasks. They did a great job. I would ask once and it would be done.

One of my goals is to treat volunteers well given my negative experiences as a volunteer in the church. Those experiences drive me hard to be deeply appreciative of volunteers and to co-mission with them wherever possible.

For the event, I was surrounded by the right people for THAT SITUATION — non-member volunteers all of them, The volunteer recruitment process I put together attracts what I personally consider the right kind of person given my own leadership skills and expectations of people I work with. All very reliable, hardworking, dedicated, ambitious, with good heart, full of initiative and pleasant surprises, well above average intelligence, well educated, and action oriented — not a flaky person among them. A near 100% show rate at meetings and commitments.

To see these people working together was amazing, self-actualizing, full of joy — a vision brought to reality. Can’t say enough good about that day. It was way better than church and we touched the lives of the volunteers.

I felt that I fulfilled JS’s mandate to make happiness the object and design of our whole existence.

[Anonymous]

Minyan Man wrote:

There wasn’t a lot of deep discussion. I didn’t really expect any. But it did allow me to vent to a small degree & not spout the standard “company line”.

Good for you to be involved and speak up! Hope it felt good.

SilentDawning wrote:

I felt that I fulfilled JS’s mandate to make happiness the object and design of our whole existence.

Sounds pretty cool to find that fulfilling experience, and recognize it as increasing your spirituality in your life.

[Anonymous]

Really good Sacrament Meeting today. All Hymns were Jesus connected. Including my favorite “Rejoice the Lord is King.”

Talks were taken from “As I have loved you, love one another” scripture.

The second speaker, a woman, took her slant on loving another and focused on The Women’s Session and Sister Burton’s talk.

All of that made me smile.

[Anonymous]

The first speaker talked about “remember”. It was fabulous – one everyone here would have loved.

The final speaker was an old man talking about Memorial Day. I love him, but it was perhaps the most . . . entertainingly weird . . . sacrament talk I have ever heard. The congregation’s reaction (plastered-on, wedding line smiles to support that crazy uncle at open mike night) was priceless.

The Gospel Principles lesson was about repentance – and it ended up being wonderful. I wish I could recreate it for everyone, but the gist was that we only can do what we can do, God’s grace makes up for what we can’t do, we shouldn’t focus on repentance as a negative (a stick to beat ourselves), and that real repentance for most good people is a process of growth and acquiring godly characteristics. It was mentioned explicitly that we tend to make simple mistakes into grievous sins because of the way we incorrectly define repentance.

[Anonymous]

My church involved taking my son and his friend to an amusement park. His friend comes from a disadvantaged family so he seemed to really enjoy himself as he doesn’t get out like that much. I had put off this outing with my son over and over again given some other pressures I have been facing and he reminded me of that, so we went even though it was Sunday.

I am very aware that this sends a bad message regarding what is appropriate on Sunday and what is not, but my heart tells me my son will not engage with the gospel or the church, so the point is moot. It was probably the best time spent with him in a while.

I haven’t been to church in about four weeks now due to illness, Stake Conference, a building dedication, and now, this amusement park trip I felt a bit bad about that because I promised our Bishop I would come back to church as of March or so, and did so for a while. Between being sick, and service opportunities in the community that had me busy on one Sunday, and then all these other interruptions (Stake Conf, dedication) I haven’t been a stellar performer.

[Anonymous]

Spending important time with family is a good thing. Full stop.

I know you don’t want to be gone more, but what you just described is life happening. Good for you for showing your son you really do care – and for helping another young man in need.

[Anonymous]

I agree with Ray, SD. I recently gave a lesson, part of which included a discussion about keeping the Sabbath. I stated up front that I didn’t want lists or dissertations about what is or isn’t appropriate and drove home the point by telling them that I dislike doing family history work. For me, family history is dull and a drudgery that I only do because I sometimes feel like I have to (and that is quite rare these past few years). So, while some people love doing family history and their Sabbath would be a delight if they could spend the whole day doing it, it would make my Sabbath anything but delightful. Anyway, in answer to the question “How do you make the Sabbath a delight?” one of the answers from someone who I consider pretty orthodox responded “Anything you do with your children” with the express implication this could include doing things others might not see as keeping the Sabbath. Family trumps church.

[Anonymous]

We had three speakers, only one of which I remember what he talked about (the youth speaker did fine, it was her first SM talk). The guy I remember is an older member of the ward and very orthodox and very literal. He talked about examples from the scriptures of enduring to the end and used as his examples Job (who he clearly believed to be an actual person with an actual experience), King Benjamin (I didn’t really get this one) and Joseph Smith. I can’t say I agreed with every word he said, but his overall message was good and he made the point that life is rarely fair and also bore testimony of grace (although with more of an “after all we can do” bent than I like).

Skipped SS as usual (the guy literally reads out of the manual). Fifth Sunday lesson was by the bishop, who lectured the entire time about faith. His idea of class participation was passing out some quotes to be read during his presentation. As I was playing with my phone I looked up and noticed the guys on either side of me (one is his counselor) were doing the same. While I really like the potential of the church’s new “Teaching in the Savior’s Way” initiative https://www.lds.org/callings/teachers?lang=eng” class=”bbcode_url”>https://www.lds.org/callings/teachers?lang=eng I think it will be largely lost on him (and the GD teacher).

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