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The article below describes what happens to some people in the Jehovah’s Witnesses who leave their religion. I’m always a bit suspicious of oversimplification/misrepresentation of fringe religions by third parties. But the experiences I’ve heard here on Stay LDS, and my own experiences seem to confirm that when family and religion are tied together, it can be really hard on people who leave their religion. I experienced it from my born again Christian family when I joined Mormonism, and then from my wife many years ago when I grew dissatisfied. Fortunately she came around.
Here is the article.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-40704990 How do you mitigate the effects of faith crisis on family relationships? So what happened to people in this article isn’t necessarily what will happen to Mormons? Or is it something you can’t influence?
My wife and I met with the JW’s for many months. I found their teachings to be internally consistent. Meaning that if you take the leap of faith to ascribe to a few foundational tenets then the rest of it seems to flow pretty naturally from it. They pretty much believe themselves to be the true and natural heirs to the early Christians that were willing to remove themselves from the population centers and meet in secret etc. etc.
For me it seems that the hardest parts of their religion come from this overarching mandate to not follow the ways of the world. This includes things like voting, military service, and blood transfusions but also things like observing holidays, special occasions, accumulating wealth, and who your friends are (they do pay taxes under a “render unto ceaser that which is ceaser’s philosophy).
The admonition not to have close associations with non-believer is the primary thrust of this article. There are many verses that speak of not being unequally yoked and not loving your family more than Christ and removing the evil one from among you. They are merely following the scriptures as they understand them to their conclusions.
I think I had learned too well how to speak “sheepese” and they (the JW couple) thought that I was a golden contact. Finally I “came out” to them and revealed that while I understand how they reach their conclusions based upon literal interpretations of specific bible passages, I do not take the bible literally. They asked a number of probing questions to ascertain whether I believed in a literal adam and eve or a literal flood for example. They have not been back since.
I believe that they need prospective converts to have a literal belief in the bible verses in order to have any type of foundation to build on. I suspect that they are finding fewer and fewer individuals with this type of literal belief as the world population becomes more secularized.
Yep, family relationships suffer any time there is a dominant religion in the family and someone leaves/rejects it. I had a native Japanese missionary companion who was the oldest son of the oldest son of the oldest son for about 14 generations. The oldest son was the natural heir to the Buddhist leadership in their village – the high priest by birth, if you will. He was his father’s only son. When he met the missionaries and joined the LDS Church, he literally lost his former life. His father performed a dishonorable death ceremony; he was fired from his job; he was kicked out of the college he was attending. He was left with only the small amount of money he had saved and the clothes on his back.
I knew a Catholic man in MA who married a Mormon girl from UT. He supported her and their kids as Mormons for 30 years. He paid for multiple missions (I forget, exactly), and two of his sons became Bishops. The missionaries used to practice the discussions on him, with him playing the part of someone in different demoninations. He finally joined the LDS Church when his “sainted mother” died, since he believed it would have killed her to do so prior to that.
Muslims and Jews often face death if they switch to the other religions.
We collectively criticize Mormons who convert to other religions, sometimes to the point of condemnation.
As humans, we admire the strength of those who leave other groups to join ours, but we have a harder time admitting the strength it often takes to leave our group for another one.
Ray – your comments remind me of something that is in front of me. Do I level with my mother on my state of (dis)belief? I have heard others wondering how much longer their mother (or parent) will be around and for some that can be just a small number of years. You never know, but I suspect I have another decade at least. But my Mother also converted from Catholicism and it caused a rift in here family for quite some time. If I do ever decide or forced to be more open with my mother (really my parents), I do think I will remind her that in one way I am doing just what she did and ask how she wanted her mother to respond. Not sure how that would go over.
What would be the “pros” of telling her? Robert Kirby wrote an article this week saying Quote:In LDS history, such familial disavowal is regarded as senseless persecution for one’s strength of conviction. When we do it today to family members who join another church, come out as gay, or switch political parties, it’s regarded by some as being for their own good.
See
http://www.sltrib.com/home/5536055-155/kirby-of-mormon-pioneers-polygamy-and#undefined.gbpl gospeltangents wrote:
Robert Kirby wrote an article this week sayingQuote:In LDS history, such familial disavowal is regarded as senseless persecution for one’s strength of conviction. When we do it today to family members who join another church, come out as gay, or switch political parties, it’s regarded by some as being for their own good.
See
http://www.sltrib.com/home/5536055-155/kirby-of-mormon-pioneers-polygamy-and#undefined.gbpl
I didn’t answer the thread on “what is worship”, but I have to admit I think I worship Kirby’s columns.
LookingHard wrote:
gospeltangents wrote:
Robert Kirby wrote an article this week sayingQuote:In LDS history, such familial disavowal is regarded as senseless persecution for one’s strength of conviction. When we do it today to family members who join another church, come out as gay, or switch political parties, it’s regarded by some as being for their own good.
See
http://www.sltrib.com/home/5536055-155/kirby-of-mormon-pioneers-polygamy-and#undefined.gbpl
I didn’t answer the thread on “what is worship”, but I have to admit I think I worship Kirby’s columns.
I’d sustain him as a GA.
I wish we had a thumbs up on comments We do – just after the fact. :thumbup: The same Rocky Family Relationships happen when an atheist family looses a member to a Christian Faith. It’s happening to my neighbor. He is always asking “What did I do wrong?” His son has joined the Evangelical faith. His girlfriend is also a member in it. He never see’s his son or when he does it’s rushed because “there is a church thing” or the two quarrel because the son is bold in his new faith and never misses a moment to witness to his dad. All of this is complicated by the fact that the wife/mom died 6 years ago from brain cancer. Feelings are still raw. The kids were teens. The dad is widower. As a bystander I believe the son “got religion” in the hopes of being with his Mom in heaven some day. The dad finds eternity terrifying. He doesn’t want to imagine being a resurrected being floating for infinite.
Rocky Family Relationships happen in every single scenario. All believers. All non-believers. Family works because the individuals work at it. Nothing else saves family. Just the members connected to it do.
mom3 wrote:
Rocky Family Relationships happen in every single scenario. All believers. All non-believers.
I think this is important to note. It helps me focus on the cause of the disharmony. The religion isn’t really the cause…it may be the topic or issue that reveals the nature of the individuals, with our without religion these would get revealed in life.
Heber13 wrote:
mom3 wrote:
Rocky Family Relationships happen in every single scenario. All believers. All non-believers.
I think this is important to note. It helps me focus on the cause of the disharmony. The religion isn’t really the cause…it may be the topic or issue that reveals the nature of the individuals, with our without religion these would get revealed in life.
You abandoned something that’s very important to me, maybe even at the very core of how I define myself.
The something doesn’t matter as much as people feeling like the people they care about are headed in a different direction.
Quote:You abandoned something that’s very important to me, maybe even at the very core of how I define myself.
The something doesn’t matter as much as people feeling like the people they care about are headed in a different direction.
Amen Brother Nibbler. That needs to be on a poster.
Are you Zen masters saying what I think you’re saying? Go read up on the JW doctrine and discourse surrounding shunning. Then browse reddit.com/r/exjw for a while. Then come back here and state, completely honestly, that their religion wasn’t a huge aggravating factor in all the pain they experience.
This is just unreal.
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