- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Sounds like you’re on a path to finding a good, peaceful place. Quote:*even if it is not true, there are, apparently (though I didn’t know this until this website) people that stay LDS, and even temple worthy (??!) anyway! I do not HAVE to leave my lifestyle
Heck, I’m even going on a mission in a few months. That’s not to brag. It’s just to show you that sometimes, staying LDS can work out just fine. It’s not for everyone, of course, and it certainly shouldn’t be, since we’re all created and wired different, but at least it is an option.
You’ve got some solid thoughts. You’ve hit rock bottom, certainly, but that just means you’ve found a firm foundation to start building up.
Orual, it’s great to hear the update! Thanks for letting us know how you’re doing. I’m glad you’re not feeling a sense of urgency anymore. While I was serving a mission, I had a companion go through a mini-faith crisis. But, he made a comment that I never forgot. He said, even if I found out that the church was absolutely false, like if the president of the church came out and said it was all a hoax or something, he would still stick with the LDS church. Not because of the doctrine, but because of the support system, the focus on family, and the high moral standards. Everybody has something different that they’re looking for, and you’re exactly right when you say that the church doesn’t have to be all or nothing. The church can provide some of what you need, and you can find the other things in other aspects of your life. Thanks for updating us and expanding on your thoughts. Just a couple things I want to say: 1. I respond to total strangers here because total strangers here responded to me. A sort of pay it forward thing, I suppose, but I also see it as loving my neighbor.
2. I went through a stage where the dominoes all seemed to fall for me as well – until I figured out the dominoes don’t necessarily fall. That is, the BoM doesn’t make JS a prophet and JS does not make the BoM true or not. All of these things are connected but they are not necessarily dependent on each other. FWIW, I don’t believe the BoM is true but I do believe it’s a good book that teaches Christian values. And I believe JS was a prophet – but I don’t buy most of what he said.
I’m glad you’re in a better place, may you find more of the peace you seek.
Hi Orual, This is a great place for you to get some support and it has helped many of us. Thanks for sharing your story and know that you are among friends. I hope you can find a good therapist who can help – I know that when my youngest daughter was struggling and needed someone to talk to in her junior high years (she’s in college now), we opted for someone who was outside the LDS counseling services just to assure she would get a balanced view of things.
I just finished reading Chieko Okazaki’s interview in Dialogue she did about nine years ago. It’s a great read IMO because it is a concrete example of someone navigating the muddled waters of Mormonism and making it work. She says that she was in the Church to follow Jesus and she had in incredible level of patience navigating the system and love for those around her. One of my favorite General Authorities and a person I can ponder on when I have my own bad days.
Anyway, welcome to the group.
Orual wrote:* it also doesn’t mean that nothing is true now. The things that I love about the gospel are still good. There is still plenty of room to believe in God, the spirit, Jesus Christ, if perhaps with altered definitions now. I believe that something has guided me to good things, has confirmed truths to my mind. Come to think of it, I never got “the confirmation” about the BoM as a whole, but I have about specific passages. There is goodness in that book and goodness in the church, and I don’t have to leave those things. This is NOT all or nothing.
* some of my > choices seem unappealing when forced into them, but actually, given the ability to choose them myself, they aren’t that bad. I don’t know what road I’ll take, but I can visualize scenarios where I do choose to leave the church, maybe escape to Oregon and live with my best friend there, meet a great non Mormon guy and have a lovely non temple wedding….and probably still be pretty happy. My life can still have value and meaning and happiness in any scenario.
My point being, I have a lot to figure out, so many many questions about exactly what these “alternate ways to stay LDS” are, but I’m not in crisis mode now, I have time to figure it out. So as I organize those questions more, I’ll post them on the appropriate board here, and with my newfound team here, I’ll figure it out.
Welcome Orual,
Crisis mode sucks. I am so glad that you are moving to the slower pace of the reconstruction phase.
*When I originally came to that phase I remember consiously building my faith upon things that could not be proven false. Perhaps the main thing that I hit upon was God’s love for me. I and everything I love could die an agonizing and tortured death, but that would not prove anything about God’s love for me. I like to think that God would weep for my pain and suffering – so great would be the depth of his caring and emotion – even if he was restrained by laws I don’t quite understand from intervening.
The pain of the crisis was so great that I wanted to make sure that I could never have it repeat. By placing my faith in matters of the heart and not in demonstrable events of the outside world, I believe that I have accomplished my goal. I see no point in claiming that the sky is green despite my life experience to the contrary – but there are still things that I hope for and are worth holding out hope/faith for. What those things are for you may be different than those things for me.
* You said – “My life can still have value and meaning and happiness in any scenario.” This makes me think of the book/movie “If I stay.” In the movie the main girl is in a coma trying to decide if she will fight for life or go to the next world. She and her “True Love” boyfriend have a fight and seem to be going seperate ways. As the movie progresses she learns that her parents had died. She says to herself that she must hold on for the sake of her little brother. She later learns that he died as well. In the end she opens her eyes.
DW did not like this ending as it left so much unresolved. Did the main girl get back together with the boyfriend? did she go away to school? I, on the other hand, loved the ending. To me it meant that life is still worth living and cherishing even among all the pain, loss, and unknowns. The reason she thought she had to “live for” is no longer valid – yet she chose to live anyway. Whatever happens (DW tells me that in the second book the main girl goes away to school and leaves the boyfriend behind) her life will never be the same and she will need to rebuild from the ashes.
I am so glad you found us on this little isle of misfit toys.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.