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I posted another thread on the support board about how to balance the good and bad in the Church. On a related thread because most here have decided to be Stayers in light of the issues, I would like to know are there any specific rules you have for yourself, your family (spouse or kids), or for the Church when it comes to continued participation in a church you don’t always agree with? 1. Share doubts and concerns here. Don’t do it at Church or you’ll only get marked as broken in some way. Plus you may well tear down the faith of others by accident. 2. Recognize that believing the “party line” of the Church is not a bad place for people to be. Don’t intentionally disturb them from it — not even your kids and spouse. It’s an easier life if they just believe, and I don’t think it hurts the overall character they emerge with.
3. Acknowledge that few people have first-hand knowledge of the truth. So, when people stand up and say “I know beyond a shadow of a doubt its true” they are simply expressing an affirmation of strong belief. Don’t let it get to you.
4. Get back to the basics of caring about people in general, for who they are. Don’t let Church programs jaundice your view of service to others.
5. Focus on spirituality rather than doctrine.
6. Try to get a testimony of the stories you don’t believe. Do the prayer and study, and see what comes from it. If this doesn’t provide sufficient enlightenment, look at some of the literal stories you find hard to believe as situations that teach principles, whether you fully accept them as true historical facts or not.
7. Recognize that even leaders make mistakes, and don’t expect them to be perfect because there are claims that everything they do is inspired. Recognize that even great prophets like Moses made mistakes, and so do local leaders.
8. Ultimately, it’s up to you how and where you serve in the Church.
9. Look at the Church as a forum for super-sizing your character. And this will mean looking at the culture and things you find hard to accept with tolerance and kindness, just as international travelers need to respect the culture of foreign countries.
Be tolerant if you expect others to tolerate you — respect the orthodox behavior and belief of TBMs. Don’t read anti-mormon publications (there are plenty of LDS sources to come up with reasonable and logical conclusions to the questions)
Don’t expect church to be spiritually fulfilling. Do a little extra study and mediation at home to make up for the loss.
Become familiar with people from other faiths and religions – and learn to respect and appreciate those people for what they are.
If they want me, they get ME. If I want them, I get THEM.
Whatever else you do, do no harm.
Expect imperfection, both in yourself and in others, and in the church, and do not be too upset by it when you encounter it. I’ve been living by that, and it’s helped a great deal.
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