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Thanks for your example, RR. I’m a bit more selfish. I don’t know where else I would go to spend my time and money to be part of something better. I need to stay for my soul and my family. I hope to learn from others. I’m still in repair.
I believe my place is in the LDS Church,me specially since it has provided SO much good to me in my life. Being a voice for love and understanding of those who are different is my attempt to give back and honor the heart of what I received from so many as a youth who was the different one.
Roadrunner wrote:For now I’ve decided to stay and try to remain involved in the church but I might change my mind. I’ve also decided to not ask for release from my calling yet.
My rationale is this – my participation, as painful as it is sometimes, may help in the tiniest of ways to move the ship in a better course. I think in general if one is opposed to something for moral reasons it’s better to proactively leave the situation than be “fired” once the decision is made that it’s morally unacceptable.
RR – I’m glad you have a path forward, and I’m only asking because my path looks less certain than it did a week and a half ago. Could you elaborate or give an example of what you mean in the “I think in general…” sentence? Thanks….
An alternative to leaving is to voice your opinion. I think an opinion from an actively serving member may carry weight locally — not in a way that will effect immediate change, but it could help local leaders see that even members who are currently serving have a problem with it. Enough of this over time could change things for the patient person. Remember back when the church started telling people they couldn’t have oral sex? I think people had trouble with it so they stopped harping on it. Same with the penalties in the temple ceremony.
The only thing — you’ll have to deal with the “everything’s divinely revealed” answer you’ll get from the priesthood leaders. I believe there are answers, such as commenting that what is revealed is often a blend of inspiration and opinion, as evidenced by the reversal or “development” of policy such as repudiating racism, reversing certain aspects of the temple ceremony, and expanded roles for women in the church recently. Counter it with your own spiritual impressions, and quote how we’ve “been counseled” to seek our own inspiration on matters that affect us — and this is where your spirituality has led you. In WW training one of the leaders, I think it was Bednar, said that the changes to the handbook represented the current leaders “best understanding” of how to run the church at that time. Even top priesthood leaders are learning and growing, and as Elder Ucddorft indicated, even leaders make mistakes.
Then, after voicing your opinion, keep serving. We have Bishops here on StayLDS, or retired Bishops, and they have unorthodox views too — perhaps you can influence a local leader to stop harping on things and to walk away from the conversation with something to think about.
Quote:SilentDawning wrote: Remember back when the church started telling people they couldn’t have oral sex? I think people had trouble with it so they stopped harping on it.
My understanding was that the first presidency was in poor health, some minion took the opportunity to release a statement in their name. As soon as they returned to health, they YANKED IT and asked that all copies be destroyed. All copies were not destroyed and the oral sex stance is still floating around the culture.
The church has gone to great lengths to state that anything agreeable between a husband and wife is just that — between a husband and wife — and the church has no place in that relationship.
Ann wrote:Roadrunner wrote:For now I’ve decided to stay and try to remain involved in the church but I might change my mind. I’ve also decided to not ask for release from my calling yet.
My rationale is this – my participation, as painful as it is sometimes, may help in the tiniest of ways to move the ship in a better course. I think in general if one is opposed to something for moral reasons it’s better to proactively leave the situation than be “fired” once the decision is made that it’s morally unacceptable.
RR – I’m glad you have a path forward, and I’m only asking because my path looks less certain than it did a week and a half ago. Could you elaborate or give an example of what you mean in the “I think in general…” sentence? Thanks….
Ann – my thinking is basically that I should take a stance vs. being passive and letting someone else make the decision or hiding my opinion. If it’s a moral question (e.g. is stealing from shareholders ok or is racism ok) instead of an administrative question (e.g. should contractor A or B design the website) then I should decide my stance and take it regardless of the senior position of the decision maker. If it’s an administrative question that I believe strongly in, then I can try to influence the decision maker or be quiet but ultimately I defer to their authority. The challenge of course is that it’s not always black and white and the decision is sometimes messy, like with this SSM apostasy policy.
That being said, my decision to “not ask for a release” isn’t particularly assertive other than I had a face-to-face with my priesthood leader and told him I didn’t agree with the new policy.
Ann – I hope this clarifies and helps my statement. If not I’ll give it another try via a post or via private message.
I agree with SD’s statement: Quote:An alternative to leaving is to voice your opinion. I think an opinion from an actively serving member may carry weight locally — not in a way that will effect immediate change, but it could help local leaders see that even members who are currently serving have a problem with it. Enough of this over time could change things for the patient person.
My HT came over yesterday along with the Missionaries. My HT is a member of the Bishopric & a good person. We have been sharing emails back & forth too. He has been helpful with us coming back to church. From what I’ve heard (from him & others) there are many who are voicing disapproval. My opinion is let your feeling be known. Over time, if you can’t live with
with this issue then make a decision to stay or go.
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