Welcome to our little Island of Misfit Toys.
I appreciate and understand so much of what you wrote, even though my experience has been very different than yours. I have been a heterodox member all my life – so I have had plenty of time to learn how to be an explorer among settlers.
It is a process to find one’s true self and remain involved in a community that values another type of self more than ours. May there be a road for you.