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So SD is pretty heated at the moment. I wrote him a PM in the hope that it might be more effective than a public post. I am sharing it here to at least make other concerned parties aware that some effort was being made to calm SD down.
Quote:
SD,I am contacting you privately as a friend.
I do not think taking the steps you have proposed will give you positive results.
1) We do not yet know why you were assigned 20 families.
2) we do not yet know if the bishop was aware of the program of how involved he was.
3) Remember that the bishop is just a volunteer too and is likely just “winging it”.
4) Maybe the guy that you sent the email to is in the process of removing the assignment already (but that the letters had already gone out).
If you move forward I imagine that the bishop will feel blindsided and feel that you overreacted. It is highly possible that the bishop might feel confronted, attacked, or backed into a corner and may respond negatively. It can be really hard for many TBM’s to move out of a conscription mindset. I myself have been told that we are not a church of volunteers but a church of assignments. Be careful lest your push back and sticking up for yourself be viewed as the spirit of apostasy.
This just does not feel to me like the hill to die on.
I agree that it was unprofessional and inconsiderate. We are members of an often unprofessional and inconsiderate church. We must develop coping mechanisms for that.
You say that you do not care what long term results come out of this meeting and that makes me think that you may be acting more from emotion than with your head. Slow it down!
These are my true feelings. I hope you take them into consideration. No matter what the outcome I will always remain a friend.
Roy
I agree SD needs to take a breath and count to ten before visiting the bishop. The trouble I have with how he has approached this is that he started complaining about it more than two weeks ago and was advised then to talk to his leader – and hasn’t yet but continues to vent and complain here. I like SD and I realize he does struggle with depression and his prior experiences with the church. But he could have nipped it and complained to those of us who can do nothing about it less. Thanks Roy…that was nice of you to reach out for concern for him. My guess is that his leaders kind of know his personality and temperament. If not…they will soon. He is a good egg. He tries.
One of his strengths is caring about things he gets involved in. It can also be his bane.
That’s my unsolicited judgment of the dude
There have been times in the past he took breaks from this board because Ray offended him…we’ll see how he responds to you. He is who he is…but I like your concern for the board and how we manage impressions of the dialogue here for any lurkers.
Again, thanks for your efforts. I agree with everything you said (especially the 3rd line in your signature!!
:lolno: …sorry…I know I’m an idiot!)Thank you. Good work. Roy – Great approach. No judgments were in there. Just sincere friend advice. Very nice. SD did respond to my PM a few days ago and seemed more composed. He updated the public thread saying that he visited with his Bishop and that things went pretty well. He did not follow every piece of advice that I gave and frankly that is just fine. My advice gave some options to consider and ultimately it was up to SD to decide.
I am glad that it worked out well.
he actually sounds like he has a decent bishop that was caring towards him. Roy…SD is still pretty heated, it seems. Does anyone else think he is getting close to a line where all he is doing is bashing leaders and how they are telling him to be blindly obedient?Or is he framing it ok for this forum?
He is making sweeping statements against the church, and just keeps attacking the leaders including DHO. And he seems to expect a welcome “thank you for enlightening us” from his leaders for talking that way.
I’m just not sure it is helpful to the spirit of our mission, and he is obviously not picking up on my queues to try to see the hope that since teachings are all over the place, he doesn’t have to become fixated on the ones that bug him.
I’ll step away from the discussion and let you all decide to moderate him or decide he is fine.
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