Seek First The Kingdom of God

[Anonymous]

Thank you all so much. You have given me so much to digest. I am going to bed now and will write more tomorrow. My gay son just informed us of a serious relationship he is in with another guy. He is Chinese and seems very nice. Always a new adventure to grow from in life.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

“bridget_night”

“First of all, I don’t think the bishopric should have given you that calling knowing you were in medical school and I was working. Second, you knew the problems our kids and myself was having with you being gone all the time and should have never accepted that calling.”

Bridget I am so sorry that you had an even heavier burden added to your life when you were perhaps hanging by a thread. How is it that “the spirit” leads men to make such callings? This was a huge disappointment for me, and caused me to question and added to my doubt when I would extend callings that turned out to be completely wrong, yet “the spirit” told us that it was the will of God.

When I was in Grad. school I was called to be the ward mission leader. “The spirit” gave them (SP) no clue that I was closer to the edge of sanity than I had ever been in my life, and my wife with me. It was when I burst into tears as I told the SP that I would never say no to a calling from God, that he realized that I, my wife and family were all running on fumes! He then said, “The time is not right for you” which may have saved my life, marriage, and/or family as I was not going to say no to a calling from God.

Quote:

BN wrote

So, my question for you all is, “What does putting the kingdom of God first or loving God with all your heart, might, and strength, first mean?

For me, putting Family first is putting God first.

f4h1

[Anonymous]

Fatherof4husbandof1 wrote:

Quote:

“bridget_night”

“First of all, I don’t think the bishopric should have given you that calling knowing you were in medical school and I was working. Second, you knew the problems our kids and myself was having with you being gone all the time and should have never accepted that calling.”

Bridget I am so sorry that you had an even heavier burden added to your life when you were perhaps hanging by a thread. How is it that “the spirit” leads men to make such callings? This was a huge disappointment for me, and caused me to question and added to my doubt when I would extend callings that turned out to be completely wrong, yet “the spirit” told us that it was the will of God.

When I was in Grad. school I was called to be the ward mission leader. “The spirit” gave them (SP) no clue that I was closer to the edge of sanity than I had ever been in my life, and my wife with me. It was when I burst into tears as I told the SP that I would never say no to a calling from God, that he realized that I, my wife and family were all running on fumes! He then said, “The time is not right for you” which may have saved my life, marriage, and/or family as I was not going to say no to a calling from God.

Quote:

BN wrote

So, my question for you all is, “What does putting the kingdom of God first or loving God with all your heart, might, and strength, first mean?

For me, putting Family first is putting God first.

f4h1

Thank You so much for this reply. I agree with your answer of putting Family first is putting God first. It goes along with the church saying of “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” When my husband was made elders quorum president, our stake had a meeting of all leaders and their wives. It was very good and the stake leader told us that sometimes our callings have to be 14th on the list of things to do if our jobs, or families need us first.” Unfortunately, my husband did not see that his own family was drowing while trying to save others.

As far as, understanding why the ‘Spirit’ would tell a bishop or leader to give a person a calling that could be detrimental to him or the family, is difficult to comprehend. Leaders have been told lately that they should ask people about their family situation before making a calling anymore because Bishops are not ‘mind readers”. They cannot possibly know your situation. Once they know your situation they should pray about it and see if they still get the same answer like in the case you mentioned about yourself. Ultimately, we are told that each of us have the right to our own personal revelation and if it conflicts with the church leader, then we should go with our own inspiration.

This situation happened with a customer of mine. Her husband used to be my bishop and was a wonderful man. This sister told me that when she had a bishop (before her husband became bishop), he had told her he was inspired to call her to a position which required her to use her hands alot. She had extremely painful arthritis and narled fingers. I did this ladies hair for 10 years and saw her hands and knew of all the pain she suffered. She showed her crippled hands to this bishop and told him she did not feel she could accept this calling. He told her and her husband to pray about it. They did and her husband told this bishop their answer was that God did not want his wife to have this calling. This bishop actually told this husband that he was wrong and that his inspiration came from the devil and his came from God. Thank goodness this husband told this bishop off and said, “I am a worthy priesthood holder and have the right to personal revelation for my wife, and you, sir, are out of line. I think sometimes people’s pride and ego’s get in the way. This can happen with members too as I recall a girlfriend of mine whose husband was a bishop getting a letter from a sister, telling him that God told her that he should call her to this position. This put this bishop in an uncomfortable position as how do you tell a member that her inspiration was not from God. He just told her that as soon as he got that same inspiration, he would call her.

In the final analysis, this is our lives and we have to do what we believe is best for us. I do not think the church teaches spiritual dependency but personal responsiblity and personal revelation.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and one last thing. I remember when I got the calling to be the new “Gospel Doctrine’ teacher. I had hay fever so bad at the time and was very sick. I knew that calling would talk alot of time and preparation as it is a calling that was very intimidating to me with so many scripture scholars in my ward. So, I turned it down. That evening I felt a strong impression that I should take this calling anyway. So, I called back and asked if the calling was still open. The leader said yes and was thrilled that I took the calling. That was one of the best decisions I ever made as I felt the spirit so often while preparing those lessons. This calling was an amazing strength to me during this time because I had just found out that my youngest son was gay and was a wreck over it. I taught that class 4 years and it was a blessing to me, those I taught and my family.

SD you said: I’ve noticed that in these threads here, that you share some of the defining experiences you’ve had — the Bishop who made you feel like a bad person when you expressed doubts and sent the “Why people leave the Church video”, the elder on your mission that demanded obedience simply because he held the priesthood, for example. I too feel this need to share the less positive things that happen to me for some reason — and I feel the need to do it over and over again. I think people get sick of me and just ignore it after a while. My wife does in all her longsuffering and I eventually relive the experiences alone.

I’m not sure what the solution is. I did read a book by Ellsworth and Ellsworth called “Getting to Know the Real You” that talks about sighting the right targets in our thinking, and it helped me for a while when I was younger. But my spirit/thinking takes constant maintenance and discipline to prevent it from slipping back into those negative experiences and letting them overtake my mind; I empathize, and hope you can overcome your own version of it successfully.

Thank you for sharing this with me and that you can relate to it. I do think that sometimes I can focus too much on the negative, especially when I have some unresolved anger. I had a wonderful, positive dad in my life, but my mom was very negative. I did not like her negativity but I realize sometimes that it rubbed off on me and I have to catch myself at times to not be so negative. It will probably always be a conscious effort, but the book, “What to Say When You talk to yourself” by Shad Helmsetter PhD helped me alot to work on that.

[Anonymous]

I agree totally with the idea of loving others AS you love yourself. (meaning “like” – but also meaning “while”)

[Author]

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