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Thoughts from reverend Susan Mc Daniels, associate pastor at a church a friend of mine attends in Daytona Beach. It’s one of the best Christian sermons I have heard. Sympathy verses Empathy
“For several days now, I have been pondering the power of empathy. It seems there is quite a bit of varying opinions on what the difference is between sympathy and empathy. So for the purpose of being sure we are on the same page for this topic today, I want to begin by sharing what I believe and understand is the definition of sympathy and empathy, at least for me.
Sympathy and empathy both have the Greek word “path” in them so they both relate to feeling. Sympathy speaks of how we can imagine the feelings of others. We sympathize when a person loses someone they love to death or divorce. We sympathize when someone has cancer. We can imagine, whether or not we have experienced it, how painful a situation might be. “Sym” is the prefix which means “with”; we feel with someone else. We can sympathize without saying a word, perhaps with a hug or caring look. When we sympathize with someone else, we agree that they should feel bad.
Empathy, on the other hand, is when we feel “into” their pain. In the current usage of the word empathy. Empathy is deeper than sympathy and not only involves the understanding of a person’s feelings but does something to lessen the pain. When we empathize with someone else, we don’t just agree that they should feel badly in their current situation, we enter into their feelings and understand their feelings or thoughts. We can feel their pain, whether or not we have experienced the same pain.
To sympathize is to give your handkerchief to someone who is crying. To empathize is to cry with them.
In Brazil there is a saying that if you’re stuck in a hole, a sympathetic person will get into the hole with you, and the empathic person will give you a rope so you can get out of the hole.
To empathize is to acknowledge another’s pain AND to help them through it.
The purpose of my writing today is to encourage us all to go beyond sympathy in our relationship with people who are hurting and to begin to express empathy. Now I do understand that we cannot personally be empathetic with large numbers of people all at the same time so this is not supposed to be a guilt trip. But there are some people who cross out lives’ paths that we need to avail ourselves to in the power of empathy.
When is the last time you personally expressed empathy to another? The last time you gave of your heart, your words, your time in order to give another a “rope” to help them get out of the hole?
I thought of Jesus this morning as I thought of the power of empathy. In the travels of a Jewish person of his day, they would go all the way around Samaria instead of taking the short route through Samaria because they considered the Samaritans half-breeds and unworthy of their association with them. Yet Jesus told his disciples that he “needed” to go through Samaria. He needed to give a “rope” to a woman there.
When multitudes of people followed Jesus into a “deserted” place to hear his teaching, Jesus was moved with empathy for them and taught them and then fed them by multiplying the bread and fish. He gave them a “rope”.
When Peter, stepping out onto the sea to walk to Jesus, began to be afraid and sink, Jesus reached out and caught him. He gave Peter a “rope”.
When Lazarus died, Jesus cried bitterly with Lazarus’ sister Mary and then he raised Lazarus from the dead, giving Mary and Martha a “rope”.
Sometimes Jesus offered a rope to people and they did not take it. Even though he knew ahead of time that they would refuse his offer, he offered anyway.
And on the cross, Jesus not only sympathized with us because of our sin, he empathized with us and gave us all a “rope” even though it cost him a season of separation from God, physical trauma and pain, emotional pain, and spiritual pain as he literally took our sin into his physical, emotional, mental body.
I believe more than ever that we in the Body of Christ must do more than sympathize with those who are hurting, whether it be those who don’t know Christ at all or those who do know Him. We must empathize.
For after all, if we are part of His body and He feels the pain of others, should we not also feel that pain? Sometimes we say that we are His hands extended. We love the sound of those words. But perhaps we should look at our hands for rope-burn.
Hugs, Blessings, Shalom, Peace and Amen”
I like that alot because I believe sympathy and empathy are two different things. I believe we should try to do both when dealing with people. I appreciate this sermon, and I appreciate the distinction – but I also accept fully someone who is sympathetic when they are unable to be empathetic. It’s easy to decry sympathy if you are naturally empathetic, but it isn’t a good thing, imo, to deny others what they can give. I don’t want this comment to be a downer, especially since I really do appreciate the sermon, but I just am wary of anything that, in preaching a collective ideal, denigrates what still is good.
That is a good point Ray. Ilovechrist77 wrote:I like that alot because I believe sympathy and empathy are two different things. I believe we should try to do both when dealing with people.
Sometimes it’s difficult though. Some experiences are very difficult to emphathize with, unless you have experienced them. I would include some of the following:
* Some forms of mental illness.
* Serious addiction, especially alcohol, drugs or gambling.
* Falling in love. (Some people go through their entire life without this, although almost all teenager believe that they have been.)
* Loss of a child.
* Being in a war zone.
* Famine.
etc
You can have sympathy with people in all of these situations, but unless you have experienced them it is difficult to understand. I have not lost a child, for example, so do not fully understand what it’s like. Close friends have though.
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