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No, I wasn’t kidding! What’s wrong with my suggestions? It sounds like DarkJedi has been having this problem with his teen for a long time. I’m trying to help. Listen, I’m a blue-collar worker. I’m not a touchy-feely counselor or anything. If these types of comments aren’t welcome here, that’s totally fine. Let me know. I just wanted to help and provide a new perspective that hasn’t been offered yet. The 3 things I listed, putting the fear of God into DarkJedi’s son, getting rid of the Internet altogether, and threatening to kick the sexting teen out of the house, are all things that my parents did.
I was totally scared of Hell when I was a kid, and maybe psychologists nowadays think that’s bad, but you know what? My fear of Hell kept me from doing a lot of awful things. I’m thankful that I was- and still am- afraid of eternal punishment. I realize that a lot of our testimonies of the people on StayLDS are non-traditional, but don’t we still believe in an afterlife in which we’ll be rewarded for good behavior and punished for bad behavior, to some degree?
We didn’t have the Internet when I was a kid, so I guess my parent’s never technically took that away… but they did take away TV privileges, phone privileges, etc., as a form of punishment. They were effective punishments.
My Dad really did kick some of his children out of the house, (although, they were 17 and 18 years old, not 15.) And he’s a good Dad! He’s a great Dad! He was kind a “my way or the highway” father. Maybe you shouldn’t go to that extreme, DarkJedi, but I think kicking your kid out of the house should not be taken off the table.
It sounds lil DarkJedi has already had heart to heart talks with his son, and tried all the gentle persuasion and love unfeigned stuff. If diplomatic negotiations aren’t working, maybe it’s time for some military action!
Thank you for your further explanation, Telemoonka. I’m just a regular guy living paycheck to paycheck as well, and I’m not into the touchy feely aspects of psychology. HOWEVER, I’m not even sure hell exists (actually I’m 99% sure it doesn’t) and I don’t believe the scare tactics this church and others use in that respect – that’s the part of psychology I do understand and agree with. As for the internet, getting rid of it for him means getting rid of it for us – with my work that can’t happen. Even so, and as is evidenced by this young lady, our home isn’t the only place he has access to the internet (including school). This girl has been texting/Facebooking/tweeting behind her parent’s backs for 3 weeks now – if he (or anyone else) wants access he’ll get it. Kicking a 15-year-old out of the house? Illegal in this state and immoral and unethical even if it weren’t. Obviously you think these things worked for you, and I won’t argue whether they did or didn’t but they’re not going to get tried here.
telemoonka wrote:No, I wasn’t kidding! What’s wrong with my suggestions? It sounds like DarkJedi has been having this problem with his teen for a long time. I’m trying to help. Listen, I’m a blue-collar worker. I’m not a touchy-feely counselor or anything. If these types of comments aren’t welcome here, that’s totally fine. Let me know. I just wanted to help and provide a new perspective that hasn’t been offered yet.
The 3 things I listed, putting the fear of God into DarkJedi’s son, getting rid of the Internet altogether, and threatening to kick the sexting teen out of the house, are all things that my parents did.
I was totally scared of Hell when I was a kid, and maybe psychologists nowadays think that’s bad, but you know what? My fear of Hell kept me from doing a lot of awful things. I’m thankful that I was- and still am- afraid of eternal punishment. I realize that a lot of our testimonies of the people on StayLDS are non-traditional, but don’t we still believe in an afterlife in which we’ll be rewarded for good behavior and punished for bad behavior, to some degree?
We didn’t have the Internet when I was a kid, so I guess my parent’s never technically took that away… but they did take away TV privileges, phone privileges, etc., as a form of punishment. They were effective punishments.
My Dad really did kick some of his children out of the house, (although, they were 17 and 18 years old, not 15.) And he’s a good Dad! He’s a great Dad! He was kind a “my way or the highway” father. Maybe you shouldn’t go to that extreme, DarkJedi, but I think kicking your kid out of the house should not be taken off the table.
It sounds lil DarkJedi has already had heart to heart talks with his son, and tried all the gentle persuasion and love unfeigned stuff. If diplomatic negotiations aren’t working, maybe it’s time for some military action!
That is how you feel. However how I feel growing up in a home like that is when I ever see anything like that taking place I promptly report them to cps. 2 things I am strongly against with all my heart and brain, indoctrination and military force or procedures especially in a home environment. I do not believe a species has the right to call themselves compassionate or intelligent when they engage in such things. Especially forcing children to their will. Unrighteous power indeed.
[ Admin Note]: Let’s be really careful if this thread continues. This is a highly charged, emotional topic, so let’s not let it get out of hand and go to where it might go otherwise. telemoonka, I think the visceral reaction against your suggestions are based around two things: 1) Using fear of eternal damnation as a tactic has a solid basis in every theology that has existed throughout history (even, to a degree in the teachings of the Gospels attributed to Jesus). However, it generally is understood now as the lowest cognitive level of motivation – kind of the last resort for those who believe in it. Many participants here have had that tactic used on them to such a degree that they simply refuse to do that to others.
2) Kicking a child out of one’s house is an extreme step that most here simply aren’t going to accept (even if it were legal) – and against which they are going to react strongly. For some, that is grounded in personal experience; for others, it is linked to previous abuse; for others, it simply goes against everything they hold dear as a principle. Interestingly, I also am convinced not one current apostle would suggest that step in this situation. It’s not like it is an acceptable solution even for most traditional, orthodox members.
Please understand that this is a bit of a unique group that is going to react differently to some things than many other groups. Fear, intimidation and rejection fall into that category.
Old-Timer wrote:telemoonka, I think the visceral reaction against your suggestions are based around two things:
1) Using fear of eternal damnation as a tactic has a solid basis in every theology that has existed throughout history (even, to a degree in the teachings of the Gospels attributed to Jesus). However, it generally is understood now as the lowest cognitive level of motivation – kind of the last resort for those who believe in it. Many participants here have had that tactic used on them to such a degree that they simply refuse to do that to others.
2) Kicking a child out of one’s house is an extreme step that most here simply aren’t going to accept (even if it were legal) – and against which they are going to react strongly. For some, that is grounded in personal experience; for others, it is linked to previous abuse; for others, it simply does against everything they hold dear as a principle. Interestingly, I also am convinced not one current apostle would suggest that step in this situation. It’s not like it is an acceptable solution even for most traditional, orthodox members.
Please understand that this is a bit of a unique group that is going to react differently to some things than many other groups. Fear, intimidation and rejection fall into that category.
I just want to apologize for phrasing things the way I did. I do not want to attack not am I anger at you are your father in posting it. If it comes across that way I sincerely apologize.
Ray wrote it better then me and the why.
Especially with using fear as motivation and often when that doesn’t work then physical force is used.
Anyway, I dislike intense feelings. So I don’t want to contribute to one. I apologize.
Wow. I going to have to hunt down telamoonka’s intro. I’m interested.
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cwald wrote:Wow.
I going to have to hunt down telamoonka’s intro. I’m interested.
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I had the same thought, what’s there is not much. I would like to know more to better understand where he is coming from.
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