- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I keep hearing the phrase, Quote:the so-called “rape culture”
I guess I have just watched conference for too many decades for that thought not be triggered.
I get the feeling that “rape culture” is what people say when they’ve been saying “victim blaming” for years and it received little or no attention. nibbler wrote:I get the feeling that “rape culture” is what people say when they’ve been saying “victim blaming” for years and it received little or no attention.
http://www.wheatandtares.org/21185/byu-rape-myths/ Quote:I agree that the term “rape culture” is a shocking term, but that’s why it’s an awareness tool; it’s a reaction against the dismissive attitudes toward sexual violence. Bear in mind, it was coined in the 1970s, well before Law & Order SVU made us all more aware of how victims are blamed. The term is doubtless a strong reaction to the non-reaction within society toward rape.
also from the comments:
Quote:Its simple- if you dont want raped at BYU, follow the rules.
This goes back to the idea that It can’t happen to me and my loved ones because we follow the rules.
Quote:The problem with Rape Myths is that we want to believe them because they make us feel safe and in control
Fun fact: Half of those quotes were made by Hawkgrrrl. For a game you can try to guess which quotes belong to her.
Another excellent article on the subject. http://religionandpolitics.org/2016/05/24/byu-brigham-young-campus-sexual-assault-debates/ Yeah, Lewis’ Law is alive and well on all the posts related to this topic, unfortunately. I love how in my OP I give the following explanation of what the term rape culture means:
Quote:We know that at its core, our society is not something that outwardly promotes rape, as the phrase could imply. That is, we don’t, after all, “commonly engage” in sexual violence “together as a society.”
To understand rape culture better, first we need to understand that it’s not necessarily a society or group of people that outwardly promotes rape (although it could be).
When we talk about rape culture, we’re discussing something more implicit than that. We’re talking about cultural practices (that, yes, we commonly engage in together as a society) that excuse or otherwise tolerate sexual violence.
Then immediately commenters who either didn’t read it or didn’t understand it assume that “rape culture” means knowingly condoning and promoting rape. To wit:
Quote:I object to any use of “rape culture” to apply to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to Brigham Young University, or to the men of the Church generally. It is unkind and untrue, and uncharitable. Indeed, it is a lie.
There is nothing in the teachings or practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that encourages or condones rape. There simply is no “rape culture” in the Church or in church schools.
Telling that some are more concerned with protecting the sensitive feelings of men from false accusations or from rhetorical arguments than they are with protecting women from actual physical violence–at least those women who aren’t the perfect victim, although plenty of those whose stories have been shared had absolutely no HCO violations and were still investigated under the assumption they must have broken the rules.
You survived, ergo, you didn’t fight enough so it wasn’t rape.
You were raped, ergo, you must have broken the rules because the rules will keep you safe.
Most people have to believe that doing the right thing(s) will shield them from terrible actions like rape. Otherwise, fear would overwhelm them. When it “works” for them, they believe it will work for everyone – again, since the alternative is too frightening for them to accept. Feeling secure is a baseline, biological need for many people. Stuff like this threatens that, so they have a difficult time not finding fault with victims.
Fwiw, I am an advocate of understanding that words and phrases having multiple meanings in a pluralistic society (and almost any society). I understand and respect completely what you mean, Hawk, when you use “rape culture” that way – but that term obviously means something different to others, and it is problematic when we use one definition knowing the people who understand the situation the least will misunderstand that definition the most and, as a direct result, be more likely not to understand the point we are trying to make. Shock value works with some people, but it more often is ineffective and even counter-productive.
Thus, I personally do not use the term “rape culture” when talking about the situation at BYU. I have worked in higher education for the past 8 years and have seen what I would call rape culture – even though my definition / description would include some things that are not categorized generally as rape. In the case of BYU, I prefer “victim blaming” and “perp enabling” – and I understand that some people can’t accept what appears to be a too-fine line in thosee phrasings.
Read your wheat&Tares article hawkgirl. Loved it. You sure hit some points that got me thinking.
I think Steve Evans put it well at BCC in several of his replies to commenters who disliked the term rape culture, the topic of Michael’s post over there.
Quote:
“It seems odd that there would be someone out there who would be interested in eliminating rape and addressing root causes, but then finds the overall ‘anti-rape-culture’ movement so repulsive that they change their minds about it.”
I tend to agree, although unfortunately you are right that male church leaders and many men in the church (and a few women) are so antagonistic towards feminism that they will redirect discussions of rape into a tone argument. “We’d only care more about rape if you’d ask us nicely. Please don’t use terms we find upsetting.” It reminds me of the scene in one of the recent Avengers movies when they are fighting the bad guys and Iron Man uses an expletive. Over the group mic, Captain America warns “Language!” Lives are on the line, and we’re going to stop to talk about language? Tone argument is a luxury for those whose experiences aren’t being ignored and dismissed.And obviously I didn’t coin the term. I gave the history of the term in that post. I explained what it does and doesn’t mean. Mormons love to change the definitions of words to things that work for them, but this is a national news story. The term is being used. I didn’t use it to inflame, but to educate.
Ardis Parshall’s comment on Michael Austin’s BCC post: Quote:A few years ago Latter-day Saints — including me — fought against the term culture of violence to describe Utah society in and around 1857. Mormonism didn’t teach violence! Violent men were breaking gospel law, not living it! Gradually we came to understand that while, yes, murder, even of perceived enemies making threats, was contrary to Church teachings, frontier Mormonism did create an environment where a number of bloody, horrible murders occurred. Brigham Young did not say, “Hey, John D., take some friends and kill these travelers; Mountain Meadows would be a good place” … but he, and other leaders in Salt Lake and all along the trail, spoke publicly, repeatedly, approvingly in 1856-57 about cutting throats and forfeiting lives. He wrote letters that winter which preceded the travelers, telling Southern Utah men that if travelers caused problems, “leave no witnesses as tale-bearers.” When leaders learned what had been done, and by whom, no action of any kind was taken for a long time.
Brigham Young — whom I love and will defend as far as humanly possible — did not order these violent acts, but he, with others, created the atmosphere that let men believe they were doing what was acceptable, even expected. That’s a culture of violence.
If you object to the term rape culture, make the analogy.
Whatever elements exist in our society that could in any way lead a man to think that any type of nonconsensual sexual behavior is expected, or wanted, or okay, or something he ought to get away with, or not that big a deal, or that shields or excuses a perpetrator from responsibility, or that faults a victim for not preventing the act, is rape culture, even when it isn’t taught by the Church or BYU, even when it goes as much against gospel teaching as murder does, even when a victim’s prior behavior is as unpraiseworthy as the behavior of the Fancher party’s was reported to be. You don’t have to advocate bad behavior directly to contribute to the atmosphere that leads to it.Just days after the BYU “announcement” of the rape issue, oldest daughter and I were walking across Harvard campus. Smack in the middle was a glass display about rape. We were both silent and reflective as we read poems, essays, saw torn pictures all focused on the destruction that rape causes. Harvard doesn’t have an honor code like BYU, yet even there victims felt silenced, rejected, dismissed, even ridiculed. At one point I saw my beautiful safe daughter and said a prayer of thanks. I also felt the opposite idea, she could have been the victim and I never gave it much thought. It was very sobering for me.
hawkgrrrl wrote:I think Steve Evans put it well at BCC in several of his replies to commenters who disliked the term rape culture, the topic of Michael’s post over there.
Quote:
“It seems odd that there would be someone out there who would be interested in eliminating rape and addressing root causes, but then finds the overall ‘anti-rape-culture’ movement so repulsive that they change their minds about it.”
Nice. I like that. And let me be clear – I like the description of the behavior that I find appalling.
hawkgrrrl wrote:And obviously I didn’t coin the term. I gave the history of the term in that post. I explained what it does and doesn’t mean. Mormons love to change the definitions of words to things that work for them, but this is a national news story. The term is being used. I didn’t use it to inflame, but to educate.
I was about to comment on this, but there were too many (useless) comments and I didn’t want to add more. Hawkgrrrl didn’t invent the term. It may be a bit provocative but it is how the American society defines it. We are a “conservative” church. That offends me at times, but I look at the definition of “conservative” and yep – it applies! If you don’t like the label, change.hawkgrrrl wrote:Telling that some are more concerned with protecting the sensitive feelings of men from false accusations
False accusations of rape go beyond hurt feelings. The Duke lacrosse case is effective proof of that. Then look what happened to the actual guilty parties; for all the lives damaged, Nifong just lost his job, and his lying witness was never penalized at all.
I have not listened to this, but I probably will on the way home. http://www.mormonmentalhealth.org/88-two-mormon-sexual-assault-experiences/ ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.mormonmentalhealth.org/88-two-mormon-sexual-assault-experiences/ I just wish BYU would do
somethingto show they are getting the message (I guess more than setting up a committee to look at the issue). The longer they go, I just can’t help but feel more and more stories like these are going to come out. You can see some really sad stories such as
http://www.wheatandtares.org/21185/byu-rape-myths/#comment-125159 ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.wheatandtares.org/21185/byu-rape-myths/#comment-125159 I guess I do still care for the church given that I think an angry ex-mo would be saying, “Hold your ground and continue making yourself look absolutely out of touch!” Sigh.
I agree completely with what Steve Evans and Ardis Parshall say in the comments sited here. I do find it highly offensive, however, that Steve’s comment appears to have been used as a response to my comment, meaning it appears to have been used to describe me, when, in fact, it doesn’t describe me at all – not one tiny bit. Nor, for that matter, does the quote about being offended by the term rape culture. I am not and never have been offended by that term. Yes, I understand that discouraging reporting can enable and embolden rapists, so I understand, again, why people say I am drawing too fine a line – but I do believe effectiveness in communication is as important as the righteous anger over the situation.
I believe, in cases like this, that avoiding misunderstanding among those who can help make an important change is as important as creating understanding among those fighting for the change.
I have NO problem with anyone else using this term in this situation – and I didn’t say it shouldn’t be used. I chose my words very carefully, and I said I personally don’t use the term – but I also said I understand completely why others use it.
NightSG: Yes, actual false allegations are very damaging. But let’s also put some perspective around sexual assault. For every 1000 women, 260 of them have been sexually assaulted. 60 of them report it. 200 women never report the crime, mostly due to societal disincentives. 1-5 of those reports are false allegations. False allegations very seldom result in convictions because so few convictions happen anyway–only 3% of rapes result in convictions. Out of 260 acts of sexual assault, only 7-8 are associated with a conviction (some have the same assailant). Around 250 women of 1000, 1 in 4, will know that the person who assaulted them got away with it.
According to one study of male students at a Boston commuter college, 6% of men commit sexual assault. Out of 1000 men, that’s 60 men who anonymously admitted they had assaulted women. 63% of them had done it more than once, an
averageof 6 times. 7% of men are victims of sexual assault (many by other men), and they are also unlikely to report it. So out of 1000 men, 70 have been assaulted, 60 have assaulted others, and only 2 are convicted. 1-4 are falsely accused. 58 are free to go about their business and of that 58, 37 will do it again and again–an average of 6 times. That’s rape culture.
- The topic ‘Sexual assault and its aftermath at BYU’ is closed to new replies.