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Sexual transgression in the church can cover everything from masturbation and soft porn, to rape and pedophilia. I think there is big difference here, but it often gets lumped into one. Rape and child abuse are among the most evil acts once can perpetrate. Having loving sexual contact with a person you care for is really quite magical and does nothing but create feelings of warmth, love and acceptance. I have had sexual relationships with all of my serious girlfriends and I have never felt evil or sinful, it just felt like love and happiness. I think like anything else, the intent and the execution determine whether it is sinful. I do think we put undue pressure on people by demanding sexual absolution. To be honest, I actually feel a bit sorry for those who give up honest opportunities to experience this with people they are in a loving relationship with. My Uncle was not married until age 45, but had several multi-year relationships with really great women that didn’t end up marrying him. Think of all the “love” he missed out on and all the agony he endured to stay pure and keep the church commandments. Now there is a big contrast to my friend at work that has slept with likely 100 women, including some prostitutes. He was not sharing a loving intimate act, he was using another for “getting off”. That’s the difference in my mind.
Brown wrote:Now there is a big contrast to my friend at work that has slept with likely 100 women, including some prostitutes. He was not sharing a loving intimate act, he was using another for “getting off”. That’s the difference in my mind.
I understand your point Brown. Yet even here, there is difficulty marking a line in the sand. I read somewhere that the majority of men agree that too much “M” can be a problem. But when asked how much is too much, the answers are not easy to point down. The only universal answer was that “too much M” was some other guy’s problem and never one’s own.
It seems to me that every sin has a fuzzy threshold. Stealing is bad, but would anyone fault someone for stealing to feed their family? Violence is wrong, but what about in self defense or to protect another? Sexual contact is a sin, except when it isn’t. Gets a bit frustrating, but I’d also hate it if the system were so rigid that it wouldn’t take into account individual circumstances. I think some people really want it to be that rigid for others, but not when it is them.
Brown wrote:Gets a bit frustrating, but I’d also hate it if the system were so rigid that it wouldn’t take into account individual circumstances. I think some people really want it to be that rigid for others, but not when it is them.
Agreed!
:thumbup: The thought struck me today while driving, that I feel I’m a pretty safe driver, with good judgement and control and understand the risks of driving. But I wasn’t always. I used to be young and foolish and wanted to be independent and drive as fast as I wanted to…it was fun and cool and a thrill. Speed limits are like many of the rules we have in church, especially about sexual transgression.
Some people really like and want to know the speed limits, so they can know they are driving safe. Many of those people are also upset when others speed and they want to see the cops pull them over and ticket them. It helps them feel more safe in society. It doesn’t mean every time you speed bad things will happen or the authorities will enforce the law…but it does set expectations and standards as guidelines to follow.
Some people don’t need as many limits because they are responsible, and the laws feel constricting or annoying. But because one person’s actions impact other drivers, we accept the laws as a way to keep order. And sometimes, although we think we are safe to speed, there are other factors we are unaware of, like schools in the area, or visibility issues or other things authorities have learned about safety through experience.
I just thought that applied to this thread.
I think that is a very apt analogy, Heber13.
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