When I was released from being YM president, I traded the pain of cognitive dissonance for the pain of feeling even less like I belonged. It seems to be about the same.
I’ve found this to be true as well. Not believing what the majority appears to believe created a sense of not belonging. That sense of not belonging only intensified when I didn’t have a calling.
I like all the comments. I do believe there’s value to having people with doubts or different beliefs at all levels of the organization. I’d love having an unorthodox EQP. Doesn’t big tent Mormonism require people with differing beliefs in all the various callings?
That said I’m acquainted with the flip side as well. It’s tough when the wind has been taken out of your sails.