- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I have taken the consensus advice here to simply put myself out there. And I have been doing this. I no longer hang out in the lobby during YSA actiivities. I have been making an effort to talk to people. Also I was interested in this girl for a while, but I eventually realized she just wasn’t for me. She seemed too traditional and I just don’t think we would be a very good fit. And to be honest, I was settling it felt like. I was taking interest in the very first girl I talked to in a while within the church. I think my problem was always seeking the Molly Mormon type girls out ever since I started dating at 16. Because subconcisouly I just thought that’s the type of girl I have to mary. When in reality this just isn’t true. Instead I need to find someone similar to me. Not exactly a 100% match. But someone who would be more sympathtic and understand about what I have been through when it comes to the church and my struggles within it. I just think someone who has had it perfect isn’t going to understand. I really don’t want to be judgemental or even disparage the Molly/Peters in the church — But I feel they do not have the ability to understand what someone like myself or others on this forum have gone through.
But I want to make it clear that I don’t think she was interested in me anyways.
But that’s not to say I haven’t had some growth oppurtunities though. I would go out of my way to talk to her. Something I would have never done a decade ago, or even probably a year ago. My confidence has blossomed. I think I have just finally realized what exactly I want to get out of life, the church and with dating and finding someone to mary. I just wish I could have figured this out 10 years ago when I first begun this phase of my life as a YSA. I feel I have lost a lot of time, and now I need to make up for it. I feel in a lot of ways a flame has been lit.
Overall I feel I am making progress. Most importantly I have been working on myself. Getting back in shape (I have lost 40 lbs since my last post a month ago, and working on getting endowed in the near future. I am excited for this.
That’s great Kotm. John Bytheway recounts that after a conference, a youth came up to him and asked “How can I make people like me?” and he answered, “You can’t but you can work to make yourself more likeable.”
I feel that working on yourself to achieve what you want in life will make you more likeable and attractive. Do not chase after others but do continue to “put yourself out there.” In time, the right person will come along but it cannot be forced.
I am really glad to read your post. “May there be a road.”
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.