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Two weeks ago I felt a strong impression to go back to church. I made a deal with myself that if I ever felt moved to go (not out of guilt or embarrassment) I would. I have not been attending for quite some time. While attending church I felt at peace with myself and my past experiences. Church was actually quite interesting and I even liked some of the talks on Charity. I didn’t agree with everything that was said (for sure) but I was okay with it. No one even noticed me in priesthood. I wasn’t introduced to anyone nor attempted fellowship. However, I felt relaxed and at ease. Despite all my issues and dis-beliefs I am finding that religion is just a tool to help us develop a direct relationship with God. I’ve attended other church’s and have found issues and judgments with them as well. I guess I am part of this tribe? That is very cool Godlives. Welcome to the transformation. Churchs are just tools. That isn’t meant to dismiss them as meaningless. In fact they are vitally important to a human experience (IMO). They are a tool to create transformation, a process I call an awakening. To me it feels like waking up and finally getting it all, that feeling of connection and knowing when I see something from a totally new perspective. Now the great thing — you are aware and it is your choice to use the tool. It was all there the whole time. Perhaps you have found that you are Mormon, just like a cat is a cat and a dog is a dog (sort of). It doesn’t mean you can’t draw from any and all other spiritual sources and traditions. In fact, I think that is exactly what Mormonism does — pulling the best from the world around us. But the main point is that it is now a conscious decision you can make. You are now awake to the next level.
Thanks for sharing! I have experienced a similar place in my own journey. Everything gets better with practice! Thank you for sharing that, godlives. I wish I could say every week will be similar, but there are weeks where even I roll my eyes and leave the meetings chuckling in consternation or muttering about something. Most weeks, however, that isn’t the case – even when I also hear things about which I really do have to just shrug and breathe. I love learning from different spiritual people. I even like learning from non-christian based faiths. In fact sometimes studying science can be extremely spiritual for me. What I like about the Mormon church is the multiple organizations that are there for my children and the promotion of families. The values they teach (minus same sex) are wonderful and when applied make my life happier. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like the core principles. To be honest I feel like I have lost and gained something at the same time. I enjoyed the 100% belief in the church I previously had. Thinking for myself is more challenging but has it’s rewards. It’s a trade off. I must say, I feel much more responsible now because I know my actions are now mine to make. Now I’m not just seeing things from a soft warm feeling but from a point of logical experience. I’m testing the values and so far I’ve found the church to be fairly accurate. Before I just went along with what others told me to do. I guess the difference is now I’m doing it for different reasons… and the journey continues.
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