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This has been a wonderful forum since I’ve been a part of it. I don’t post or comment that often, but I’ve been wondering lately if I should leave this site or just take a break. Since General Conference is coming up I’ve began to wonder if I should go back to the way things were before my faith transition. Things definitely always easy then, but in many ways they were much easier. Especially when it came to knowing God’s will. Sometimes when I read this forum and some comments on Facebook groups that I’m a part of I think maybe when it comes to living the commandments in the church is that maybe it is black and white, all or nothing. Maybe the prophets really can’t lead us astray. Maybe we’ve all been deceived. Maybe we just care too much. Maybe we’re just to nit-picky. When I started this forum I was getting out of a black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking. Mine in many ways was still similar to Shawn’s thinking. When I was on my mission I had a black-and-white understanding of the gospel teachings, but when it came to living them I developed more of a gray understanding. I realize most members of the church are at this level. There are many people still hurting or going faith crises/faith transitions where if were to resort to the usual rhetoric just have faith, pray more, study the scriptures more, talk to your leaders, just follow the prophet, etc. just won’t cut it when things in the church have been too messy, especially with the way church teachings, standards, and scriptures have come forth. So I’m not knocking anybody’s views here even if I don’t agree with them. I’m just trying to figure what I believe. What do you all think? 
I’m so glad you posted this as it is an interesting discussion. I believe as you do that most members live in that gray area , but I tried for many years to live the all or nothing approach and for me it just did not work !!!!!!! I was very unhappy and depressed as I tried my hardest to live it but I could just not measure up !!!!!!!!!! Since I have gone to the I believe and accept what I want approach it has been much easier for me. Many of you would say that is just being lazy and you might be right but all I know is that the other way I was Suicidal !!!!! So you have to do what works for each of us , I don’t know if I’m right or wrong I just know that is the way I have to live my life . I believe God is more forgiving than we think and I also believe the church is being directed by mortal men who are capable of making mistakes . For example I do not believe Black men should have ever been denied the priesthood , that was something of that time period just as today I do not believe God would have us shun our Gay brothers and sisters he loves all no matter where we are in our life journey. So for me all or nothing is forever gone and I am able to remain active in church a church I love . I also do not believe their is one True church , God wants to save all his children no matter what church they belong too !!!!!!!!! I would like to hear from others post on this subject. Thank You. A Black & White thinking LDS person might see someone in need and only stop to help them if they felt inspired to do so. Someone living in the grey zones, would stop, look at the situation, and decide to help the person because it was the right thing to do. Which is better? To only stop and help when you feel inspired to do so? Or stop and help every time because it is the right thing to do?
Living the Black & White life, it makes it easy to walk right by a whole lot of needy people because you don’t feel God’s inspiration today. Living in the grey zone is harder, it takes more thought, effort, and care.
I know this comparison looks harsh .. But it is how I have seen the gospel applied too often recently.
Only you know which one is right for you.
I’m partial to shades of grey.
I love Christ – I hear what you are saying a bit. I certainly feel that I was “taken” once by being given only one side of the story (and told not to dare look at any other sides). But at times there are parts of Mormonism that feel so good- mainly the people and good relationships that I have with them. I worry that I was so fooled once that I don’t have that much confidence that I am not being fooled again on the opposite direction. So I am not jumping to conclusions. I am still working through it, but for me it is seeming fairly clear to me the church is not what is claims to be. I am not saying overall it is evil, just not “the one and only way”. But if someone finds it is working for them, I encourage them to follow through on their promotings. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
It sounds like when you read this forum or Facebook and others’ thoughts and doubts and digging into things may complicate matters and make it harder for you. If that is the case, take a break from the online chatter, and try engaging at church like you used to and see if it helps you.
That would be a good experiment to try and see how you feel.
I sometimes think being online makes us more aware of other voices which is good to broaden our perspectives or get support, but all things should be done in wisdom and order. We should not let it become a distraction.
There is something to be said for simplifying our life and our thoughts. I suggest trying that for a while. We aren’t going anywhere. Come check us out if you need to after your experiment.
Maybe some people need to hear your experience that it is easier to stay that way.
If we don’t hear from you, we will assume all is well and you are meeting your needs at church.
Peace.
ILC77, you said: Quote:…I’ve began to wonder if I should go back to the way things were before my faith transition.
Once we’ve had a FC, can we really go back? I have come to terms with the past & tried to build on it.I believe in the basics of the gospel:
– Faith, repentance, baptism & the gift of the HG.
– Jesus Christ.
– Service to my fellow man.
– Family.
– Life after death.
– Personal revelation as God chooses to reveal himself.
By nature, I am a questioning, rebellious child.
I believe that God knows, accepts & understands me fully.
I refuse to make it more complicated than that.
I wish you the best on your quest.
Happy Easter.
God bless you on your uniquely individual journey. Don’t try to go back to everything (including former mindsets), but there might be no problem going back to some or many things (especially actions).
Taking a break is often very beneficial, IMO, especially if it’s something that’s causing you angst. I just have to say that personally I can’t go back to believing in Santa Claus, even though I sometimes long to do so. I simply can’t go back home again. Home is still there but it will never be the same.
May you find the peace you seek.
Thanks, guys. Believe me, there’s no way I can go back to how I used to believe in every topic of the gospel or the church. There’s no way. I definitely won’t believe every statement that will be made at General Conference, no matter who makes it or how well thought out it might be. I still will have to pick and choose what I believe is truth and what isn’t. Joseph Smith mentions needing to do that in the Scriptural Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith. As for making things more simple, that’s one of the reasons why I had to leave some of the Facebook groups that I was a part of. There were just too many negative posts and comments in some of those groups. Too many people just wanting to complain about the church. Anyway, I’ll just be taking a break for a while, I’ll be when I’m ready. Happy Easter to you guys, too! If you feel like sharing your positive things about your experience with the church here…we would love that balance. We support those who have struggles, but also want to promote all the good reasons to stay. I think it sounds like your approach is a mature one.
So glad you posted your thoughts here about it.
Thanks, Heber. I’m finding it too addicting to stay away for long, so what I’ll probably do is go some days without checking up with what’s going on with the forum, mainly during General Conference weekend, this weekend, of course. I think you should do what ever nets you the most joy and peace and happiness. But I will say this — a TBM Mormon and I talked about black and whiteness. He said “you start out black and white, but then it quickly turns to shades of gray”. So, in his view, there were bedrock black and white principles, which quickly turn to gray when you add the complexity of life.
Anyone operating at a high level will see the gray — anyone in leadership that requires judgment, knows the gray exists. YOu can’t avoid it. The scriptures are even gray because they can be interpreted so many different ways — even abused.
So, really, it’s which depth of Gray you want to embrace. If you want to try a straight black and white approach, then try it and see if it is easier. I admit, it IS easier because all of a sudden the establishment accepts you, the TBM’s are non-judgmental (at least LESS judgmental), and there are no questions. But I personally feel a black and white approach as one gets older is a sign of not thinking deeply about the many angles that impinge on every situation, and the judgment and multiple perspective-taking most thoughtful and effective decisions take.
I see embracing gray part of the scripture that says that as a child, we look at things as children do (black and white), but as adults we put away childish things (and embrace grayness as a way of life).
Good luck in whatever you do.
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