Something I just wrote to ease the journey

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I do free writing to help me work through my feelings. In response to what I have been feeling lately in my faith crisis, I wrote the following. I wanted to share it in case it helped anyone else:

Eyes to See

Mother, Father, are you there? Do you hear? Do you feel? Do you care? You sent me here, to this world. You sent me on a mission…a mission to get lost. But you did not tell, though perhaps you did. Perhaps I forget. Or perhaps I don’t. But I am here now…in this world. And I thought I knew. Certainty was promised to me, wrapped in gold ribbons and endowed with divine dust. The answers to the whole world were there and any answers that were not there were not answers at all.

The gift was mine and none other could have it…because I was special. I was your child. My eager fingers tore at the ribbons, unraveling them to find the mystery within. And when I saw…oh! what amazing things to find. Direction and certainty, like the mother’s embrace that says all is well, there is nothing to fear. And I beheld answers and truth, like the father’s teachings that makes a man a man because he knows just what to do. But there was more! For beneath this was comfort and security, like the fire of the hearth, there to warm my heart and never leave me in the cold.

And I ran in the streets with my gift! Nothing could stop me, I had it all! Life was settled, the mission done. Certainty was found, the answers had won. The night was dead, now only the sun. With abandon my feet sped through the paths of life and nothing could stop me, no doubts could catch my ear. I had flaming feet of glory and eyes that sparkled like diamonds. My hands held the strength of lions, no impure scent was worthy to smell. I trod the mountains high and descended the valleys low. Not a thorn defiled my heel and not a soul deterred me from my path. For, you see, Mother, Father…you gave me a gift. You gave me it all. My mind was settled and only glorious, safe adventures awaited. And so, to you, I must bid adieu, thank you for your gift and much obliged for your blessing. It is time to go.

But then I fell.

I fell with all the intensity of the glory I had held.

I do not understand. How has your gift failed me? And with this question asked, I kicked my gift and cursed your names. But as the shining box tumbled away and the lid bounced off, I saw the gifts fall into the grass. And my eyes became shocked, indeed. For the gifts were not the same…they had changed. Yet, they were the same and I could not explain. So, with timid caution and shaking anxiety, I approached the familiar box. And on it was a note which had never before been. And on it was scrawled in glowing white pen, “All my gifts contain eternity, but who said your eyes could see eternity?”

And I beheld the gifts anew, the same yet not, familiar yet fresh. I saw into them deeper and wider, simple and complex. What I thought had been certainty was but a compass for my next step. What I thought had been truth was but a mirror that only reflected. What I thought had been unending comfort was but a promise of unending love.

And I knew it would change, for all eternity contains every gift, and every gift contains all eternity. My youth had ended, my journey just beginning. Simplicity replaced complex theories and wisdom replaced infallible answers. The gifts were not what I had thought, for what I think cannot contain infinity, and no divine gift can contain any less than infinity.

And with my gifts underarm and my faith on my back, I embarked once more, knowing never again to look in the box only once. The gifts were mine and they would always be mine. And as I must find myself one journey at a time, so my gifts will give me what I need.

For what we need has always been there…for those with eyes to see.

http://www.christopherfranklin.org/2014/05/eyes-to-see.html

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