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Hello, I was BIC, but my parents divorced while I was young. I have some early primary memories of church but led a life of heavy drugs/alcohol until I meet my wife at age 22. I dried up and spent a year getting ready to marry my wife (of over 28 years now) in the Manti Temple.
We brought into our marriage my wife’s family baggage, along with my family baggage … enough to fill a semi-trailer. Our humble (and somewhat depressing start) was in the old Holy of Holies in the Manti Temple. My wife, her roommate and me. The temple had to provide witnesses.
Two boys, and a beautiful girl later (now all married, in the temple, boys served overseas missions) we were engrossed in our “small town, Utah Mormon” lifestyles.
True to my personality I went overboard orthodox (think fanatical) Mormon. Towards the end, I worked for over 8 years as an Ordinance worker in the Provo and Timpanogos temples.
I had a hard trial of faith under which I almost broke, and found it necessary to simply turn it off and walk away from it in about 2002. I have dealt silently and alone with my demons from 2002 until about a year ago when I started looking around the web again. Things have changed!
I was only recently introduced to John’s “Mormon Stories”, and hence to this site. I do not know if it is likely for me to go back, but the likes of “An LDS Perspective on Fowler’s Stages of Faith” along with other pod casts have left me wondering … is there even a possibility of it happening. In the last few weeks, I have considered going some Sunday and sit through a High Priest group meeting … just to see if there is any likelyhood of me being able to handle it.
Here is a little story about my last visit to a High Priest group meeting, sometime back in 2002
Such bad memories! I truly hesitate even trying.
If nothing else, I’m interesting in reading up around here and maybe participating in your discussions.
An understanding friend
Chad
Welcome! I made a couple other posts last night … guess they got lost? I enjoyed your story on the “bullseye”. That’s too bad…and all too common. I don’t pretend to know why the Church discourages thought beyond the manuals but it does seem to cause a lot of folks to leave/question. Hopefully someday things will be put in order. Until then, a lot of folks continue to go and keep their tongues bitten, and others just can’t stand it and stop going. IMHO, the people that keep going and keep quiet are somewhat better off just because they have a standard weekly spiritual regimen…but, I also understand those who choose not to attend at all.
It’s a tough time that we are living in and all is not well in Zion.
timp, when someone comes on here for the first time, their intro and posts/comments need to be approved by an admin. We all are volunteers, so sometimes that takes a bit until one of us logs on and approves them. I think they’ve been cleared now. Old-Timer wrote:timp, when someone comes on here for the first time, their intro and posts/comments need to be approved by an admin. We all are volunteers, so sometimes that takes a bit until one of us logs on and approves them. I think they’ve been cleared now.
Thanks Ray, I do appreciate how much time/effort is involved. And I’m sorry to everyone for the slur, especially Bruce if I have offended you. Truly no offence was intended.
Welcome, chad!! I guess we’re all here to try to get the Dis out of the Cog.
Hi Timpanogos, welcome to the site Your bullseye experience must have been a horrible event, how did Wayne handle it all?? I am wondering, (and I have no basis for this except for the 3 wards I have lived in here in BC and say another half dozen or so that I have visited more than two or three times, in Alberta) if this level of what seems to be quite common highly orthodox and verging on cruel responses to people with questions is a function of how close one is to the “bulls eye” of the Church. What I mean is that some of the stuff people here have reported is almost impossible for me to believe based on my own, as I have indicated, limited experience. Is it possible that the the closer you get to Salt Lake City the more fanatic and thoughtless people become? Just asking and not wanting to cause any trouble and I feel the big finger of Ray the moderator about to tamp on me again. ARggggg
😆 timpanogos wrote:If nothing else, I’m interesting in reading up around here and maybe participating in your discussions.
Chad, welcome…glad you’re here. I hope you find the material interesting and you feel free to jump in with your ideas. I have found it very enlightening to read materials off line and the add to discussions here on line. There are some pretty smart people here that are teaching me good things…sometimes the discussions seem more enlightening than any HP lesson I’ve been to. I hope you find the same.I think it is admirable you continue to seek. Welcome to the forum!
No problem, Bill. Homogeneity breeds contempt for the non-homogenous, unfortunately. Sure, it’s a generalization of which we need to be careful, but it does hold true across humanity. It’s not a Mormon issue but a human issue – even as the idealist in me wishes it wasn’t a Mormon issue.
Bill Atkinson wrote:…
Your bullseye experience must have been a horrible event,
That was just the straw that broke the camels back.
The reason I left was not based on the church, it’s doctrine nor members … it was a thing between God and I.
Quote:
how did Wayne handle it all??
There are so many men, so much greater than I. Wayne was one of them. I don’t know much about the Fowler Scale, but using his terms, Wayne was an advanced level 5. It was water off a ducks back. I think he loved them even more for it. Wayne was a humble, Christ like man.
Quote:
I am wondering, (and I have no basis for this except for the 3 wards I have lived in here in BC and say another half dozen or so that I have visited more than two or three times, in Alberta) if this level of what seems to be quite common highly orthodox and verging on cruel responses to people with questions is a function of how close one is to the “bulls eye” of the Church. What I mean is that some of the stuff people here have reported is almost impossible for me to believe based on my own, as I have indicated, limited experience. Is it possible that the the closer you get to Salt Lake City the more fanatic and thoughtless people become? Just asking and not wanting to cause any trouble and I feel the big finger of Ray the moderator about to tamp on me again. ARggggg😆 Things went a bit differently back then … these were not “questions” but things of deep doctrinal worth which we had learned and wanted to share. We held many topics of concern today as pearls of wisdom/knowledge.
Back then the church went on an excommunication/disfellowship spree to stop this practice of sharing. You keep your mouth shut, at the threat of excommunicated.
It is very interesting to note how the Church has done a 180 on this. For example, John Dehlin would have been excommunicated in a heart beat in the early 90’s. This is a very good sign that the Church is adjusting and your causes here have a great chance to continue the impact, for good, on the organization.
With a bit of trepidation of offending people here already, here is a post I did a while back which might better help reflect what was going on in the “mormon corridor” leading up to that time.
timpanogos, your story of Wayne Phelps is a tear jerker. I mourn for Zion. And strangely that story beckons me to StayLDS on a higher plane of love. Your other story is very insightful too, and I appreciate your sharing it. I am touched that we have inspired you to perhaps give it another go. That’s what we do here. We inspire each other to keep trying. I am especially interested in the experience by which your fundamentalism was dispelled. May I ask you to describe the type of spirituality that has replaced it? To you, what now is the meaning of having your calling and election made sure?
Timpanogos Well I can see that the title of your post “somewhat seasoned” is a massive understatement. Thank you very much for the link to your “Manti anyone ..” which helped to explain that situation so well but so painfully. You have a great deal of courage and clearly a great deal of spiritual depth I look forward to sharing with you. Thanks again.
Timpanagos, Just read the “Manti” link…. thanks for posting that.
I can’t help but wonder…for every one person with the guts to come forward like that, how many more silently feel the same way and continue to suffer.
I chose more of the “Fred Collier” path but I totally realize that it’s not for everyone. I’m very much enjoying your posts and sincerely hope you find the path home.
I very much appreciate the comments made here. This site is positive, uplifting and I’ve felt something I have not for some time … the spirit.
Thanks everyone!
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