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Tom — on this note — my wife and I decided to embark on a month when we spent no money except on basic necessities. No dining out, no entertainment beyond our home TV and owned DVD’s (we dont’ get cable). Only basic necessities. Our goal was to see what it was like, and also, to accelerate our saving toward a financial goal we had. We gained MUCH in empathy for people who don’t have much. From what I learned that short month (we did int Feb because it had only 28 days!) I learned that for me, poverty creates this intense yearning for something better, and deep angst when you want things and can’t have them. I understand now why people who are below the poverty line sometimes go out and spend money they really don’t have on a big screen TV. The months upon months upon months of doing without must be hard to bear.
Personally, I was able to go the first two-weeks without really suffering much. But in the last two weeks — OUCH. It was nearly unbearable toward the end. When the first of the following month rolled around, we instantly went out to dinner and spent some discretionary money alloted for that new month. I can see why people without much often go and spend what they have as soon as they get it.
I will never criticize the chronic poor for apparently spending their money unwisely (now and then). Poverty grinds, and I understand why sometimes, they give in to their desires for a better lifestyle. I think that month did a lot to create true empathy for others, and exposed the fact that I too would have urges to spend money I don’t have if I had to do without.
I think that experience was meaningful for our spiritual growth as a family.
Ooh. I’m glad I finally read this thread. Something in the OP really resonated with me. For me, I have a need to overcome my FEAR of breaking taboos. I feel that fear (in me) must be faced, challenged or overcome.
I was a very good Mormon. I really had little to no desire to break any of the unique rules. I was even more hardcore than most of my peers about movies, WoW and other things. So, I do find that I no longer have an ego that identifies with “never having done” whatever-or being such a great Mormon.
I do think long and hard before doing something I would not formerly do (like drink a tea). I have found that I am not interested in new vices, just facing my fear of certain things. I need to find a good rated R movie to watch…
I’ve already broken many of the taboos. That time’s done for me now… SilentDawning wrote:OK, let me see if I have it correct — you’re saying that by doing all the right things in the Church — one can develop a false sense of righteousness that stems from identifying with the practices of our Church rather than connecting with the pure gospel. This can lead to self-righteousness, perhaps even arrogance as one looks down on others who HAVEN’T obeyed those practices. For example, the guy who didn’t finish his Eagle Scout, didn’t serve a mission, didn’t get a decent education, didn’t marry in the temple, etcetera.
So, in breaking the taboo, you break your perceived self-righteousness, and potentially, any arrogance ….is that it?
YES! He is saying that, and in my opinion he is right on. HOWEVER, to each his own – this is just one way of doing it. If you don’t like it and don’t think it will work for you, than great. Don’t add stress to your life by fighting concepts that don’t matter to you. Also, I don’t think you should worry so much about what other people think. Just my opinion.
Quote:So, in breaking the taboo, you break your perceived self-righteousness, and potentially, any arrogance ….is that it?
Unless, of course, you are breaking the taboo specifically to prove how strong and enlightened you are and how you are above such silly things. If your breaking constitutes arrogance, then your perceived taboo breaking might be nothing more than the establishment of a new taboo.
Are you breaking the taboo out of spite – or anger – or impulse? Are you breaking many taboos indiscriminately? Can you articulate exactly – precisely – clearly why you are breaking the taboo – and what your new perspective entails? Are you being proactive and careful – or reactive or even careless? Are your actions thoughtful or emotional? Are you being “easily provoked” – or are you acting without immediate provocation?
Imo, it’s much less the action and much more the attitude and timing – and accepting most taboos for the sake of the community, while breaking a few for the sake of self, is the general position I take. Ironically, I’ve found I agree with most of the “biggies” (or, at least, can accept them in order to remain firmly within the orthopraxy), so the ones I choose to set aside generally are the minor ones that won’t alienate me automatically from the group.
It’s funny but in reading about taboos I’ve had one that’s been with me for 46 years. When I went to the temple for the first time (before temple prep classes) we met for a few minutes in a room with an elderly man to get some basic information about what was going to happen. He talked about the garment, something I’d just heard about, and said that it was sacred and needed to be treated like the flag. Ever since then I can’t leave them on the floor without thinking about that day. Ironic, considering what must happen to some garments… I mean if you have an “accident” after eating the wrong type of food etc. Garments also mop up sweat and BO. Not saying this to criticize them, but just point out the obvious. Old-Timer wrote:Unless, of course, you are breaking the taboo specifically to prove how strong and enlightened you are and how you are above such silly things. If your breaking constitutes arrogance, then your perceived taboo breaking might be nothing more than the establishment of a new taboo.
Are you breaking the taboo out of spite – or anger – or impulse? Are you breaking many taboos indiscriminately? Can you articulate exactly – precisely – clearly why you are breaking the taboo – and what your new perspective entails? Are you being proactive and careful – or reactive or even careless? Are your actions thoughtful or emotional? Are you being “easily provoked” – or are you acting without immediate provocation?
Okay, here we go again
Let’s just go back to the white/blue shirt. One might say wearing a white shirt is a sign of charity. I say it is a sign of sheepal. One might say you should wear a white shirt for the better good of the “cultural” community. I say that wearing a white shirt hinders the community and reinforces the view that the community is a cultish organization where people can’t think for themselves. One might say that wearing a white shirt is a sign of reverence and helps those in attendance because white is a symbol of purity. I say that wearing a white shirt CAN BE/SOMETIMES IS a sign of arrogance, self-righteousness, and hinders many in attendance and makes them uncomfortable because they are dressed liked LAWYERS and POLITICIANS.
so there you go. Is that breaking taboo out of spite and anger OR is that breaking taboo out of charity for others?
Garments? I think garments are a symbol of religious faith and, like the cross and other religious emblems, should be treated with respect. However – they do serve a duel purpose as religious symbols and UNDER WEAR – so yeah, kind of throws a whole different “wrinkle” into the conversation.
Tom – I liked the ego commentary. i think it is right on.
I know where you’re coming from Cwald. I do wear a white shirt these days (well, one Sunday I didn’t recently…) but I agree that it represents both sheep (in the negative sense). Suits have come to represent some of the worse aspects of our society – both trans-national capitalism and bureaucracy, the secret police (whether FBI/CIA etc in the US, or the old KGB in the USSR – they wore suits too). Not to mention Mods. 😈 cwald, that is a good example of exactly what I meant in my summary. I don’t wear a white shirt, unless I’m in a calling where I’ve been asked to do so – and I disagree totally with the idea that it’s “the uniform of the Priesthood”. To me, that’s an excellent example of a minor taboo I feel fine breaking. I try not to think of it as breaking a taboo anymore. If I do not want to wear a white shirt I do not. It is not rebellion it is just I want to wear a blue shirt. Garments for are a good symbol of who I am but I think they are cultish worn the way they are prescribed. I wear them most of the time, but I have no problem with all the outdoor activities I enjoy to leave them off, when they are in the way. Wearing them to bed I consider a major taboo in a marriage. I am trying to get my own sense of right and wrong and what is good for me without external reminders. Ultimately I think some of these things like white shirts and tattoo’s are very minor things escalated to the point of doctrine because there is such a vacuum of new revelation or inspiration that anything at all coming from the leaders is latched onto to help one feel they are following the Lord.
I wear the blue shirt for a number of reasons: 1. I often don’t have a clean white shirt.
2. Blue shirts set off my eyes.
3. I wear it during periods I dont’ want to be taken seriously for a leadership calling. Rarely works though — I get called anyway and then I have to revert to a white shirt.
4. Recently, I wore a blue shirt because it felt liberating after all those years of HAVING to wear a white shirt because I was in leadership.
5. For me, wearing a blue shirt is a bit symbolic of the fact that I’m not bound by unecessary bureaucracy. I feel good about myself when I do; that bit of freedom makes going to Church more palatable.
I think the latter is a benefit of taboo-breaking; the liberation one feels from rules that seem to have little basis in spirituality.
Good points SD. My biggest gripe against white shirts is how easily they stain and get dirty. And they don’t always wash properly either! Cadence wrote:I am trying to get my own sense of right and wrong and what is good for me without external reminders. Ultimately I think some of these things like white shirts and tattoo’s are very minor things escalated to the point of doctrine because there is such a vacuum of new revelation or inspiration that anything at all coming from the leaders is latched onto to help one feel they are following the Lord.
Cadence, excellent post! I really like this part.My guess is that if the legion of devils was at the door killing our children and destroying all that was good…what color shirt we had on would not be what we are thinking about.
Cadence wrote:I try not to think of it as breaking a taboo anymore. If I do not want to wear a white shirt I do not. It is not rebellion it is just I want to wear a blue shirt.
I think when we get to this point…life gets a bit simpler. When my stake president called me out in front of the high councilors that I would never come to a meeting again in anything but a white shirt, then I wanted to wear a white shirt. Now that I’m a sunday school teacher and haven’t heard any comments when I wear blue, I wear blue. I’m not saying I do whatever I’m told…just that when I don’t care…that also means I don’t care if they ask me to wear white. Either way…it is not taboo for me, even if it is taboo for others.
Old-Timer wrote:Unless, of course, you are breaking the taboo specifically to prove how strong and enlightened you are and how you are above such silly things. If your breaking constitutes arrogance, then your perceived taboo breaking might be nothing more than the establishment of a new taboo.
This was exactly my thought when I read the OP. Rather than making myself more humble or spiritual, I find taboo breaking makes me even more prideful and egotistical. My attitude becomes, “Look at me! I’m soooo smart because I can think for myself, unlike all of you mindless drones!”
Actually most of the little taboos seem so small that I don’t realize I’m breaking them. I wore my blue shirt when I confirmed my daughter after baptism. I did this more for practical reasons than any desire to rebel. I only have one white shirt, and I got it wet when I baptized her. It wasn’t until after the meeting when I heard the whispers…you know the ones.
The only time I really felt humbled when breaking a taboo was the first time I walked out in public in a speedo. I was waiting for everyone to start laughing at me, and I was so relieved when they didn’t!
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