- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
My eight year old son was baptized yesterday. As many know, I’m on a pretty unusual journey, that of being a practicing “non-member” by choice. There were any number of interesting and fascinating things that transpired but, I must start with how spiritual the whole experience was. It had been awhile since I had sought out a spiritual experience like this and it struck me how important it is for me to put myself in that transcendent mind-frame to then tap that spiritual energy. The bishop did the baptism and confirmation. It was pretty amazing for me to be able to hold my wife in my arms and listen and watch this together. For me, it was very profound, my son embarking on his own journey with his parents viewing lovingly from the sidelines. Growing up the way I did, this was amazing. I have no question in my mind that he knows and understands that these are all his choices entirely.
While I’m sure he loved all the extra attention and gifts, he knows that this is a journey of his own choosing, almost completely unfettered by expectations, at least in his immediate family.
I should also say how great the ward family has been. The bishop, the bishop’s counselor, the primary president, were all able to express appropriately the love and guidance that my DW and I have shared with our special little guy. It was impressive to see and hear that, especially in front of what we all presume to be pretty black/white thinkers. And, with those types in the family in the audience it was amazingly refreshing.
Lastly, this was really all possible in large measure due to my participation here at stayLDS. When I resigned, I knew that I wanted to stay a part of my family’s lives for those three hours on Sunday. But, I had enough resentment and black/white thinking around the church that, at that point, I could either take it or leave it.
My “awakening” to the endless possibilities of the heart, mind, and “soul”, have been such an unbelievably amazing catalyst for a fundamental transformation in my life, my marital relationship and my immediate family relationships. In my recovery from co-dependency, this process of “seeing” in transcendent ways has been so key.
Iwas able to let go and let God. And, it really meant that, albeit in my own extremely unique way (ok, unique to me). So, thank you again to everyone here. Please know that collectively, we are making lives better. Wish you all could have been there to witness it.
I’m having a hard time seeing the keyboard, swim, through my tears. I missed (am missing) church today due to sickness, so I’m sitting alone in an empty house when I want to be surrounded by people I love. In a way, you’ve just done that for me, and I really appreciate it. This has been an amazing few days for me as an admin here, and I want to thank you for sharing this experience with us.
I also want to thank John for asking me to participate here.Your experience, swim (and Katie’s and george’s and everyone else’s – sorry I’m not naming everyone personally), means a lot to me – not just because it represents things that are helping people “stay LDS” but MUCH more deeply because they represent someone finding himself and finding JOY in himself – within Mormonism. Sorry to veer off the path a bit in my response, but I really appreciate this post. Thank you!!
Wow Swim … thanks for sharing that with us all here. I was really touched by your perspective of your family experience — how wonderful. I am so happy for your enjoyment of that event. Thanks for sharing Swim! I’m glad it was a good day. Thanks for helping to make StayLDS what it uniquely is!
It sounds like StayLDS has influenced us all for good and inspired us upward in our relationship to the LDS church and religion. Hugs to you in your great experience, Swim. Tom
That’s awesome, swimordie! Thanks for sharing that. I’m so happy that you are where you are! I had such a wonderful baptismal experience myself, I just love going to baptisms. When I was in a bishopric I loved conducting and/or presiding at baptisms.
HiJolly
Swim- So I have a question. BTW, great post, I also appreciated it. I know you know that I won’t judge you, I’m just curious. If you had it to do again (and hindsight is always 20/20), would you resign your membership? Put another way, have you found what you needed here that, had you found it before your resignation, you would have remained? Feel free to not answer the question if you prefer!
That’s okay, eu. I’m an open book (for better and worse). Sorry it took a day for me to respond, hopefully you actually see this. Great question. Ironically, I’ve pondered that alot in the last month or so.
Because of the transformation and growth that I was forced to go through personally and within all of my family relationships, I have no regrets. It was absolutely a necessary step in my journey. And, it was critically important to my on-going recovery from co-dependency.
The part that I questioned was my original reasoning. I’m an activist at heart and that comes through in my creative endeavors constantly. If you don’t remember, I resigned specifically over Prop 8. A couple weeks ago I was reading the ethicist column in the NYT and the question he was answering was from a couple who couldn’t have kids. They found an adoption service that would allow them to adopt much sooner than any other. However, the service did not allow adoptions by homosexual couples. They were unsure the ethical dilemma, the argument being that their personal greater good outweighed the philosophical conundrum. The columnist simply asked, “If the adoption service wouldn’t allow black couples to adopt, what would you do?”
I don’t want to implicate anyone for my thought processes but, upon reading that, it was a very moving moment for me. I feel deeply the inner-connectedness of all people as my brothers and sisters. I believe, in fact, that it is God that connects as all. And, I feel strongly that reasoned ethics are as important as personal revelation. And, that both ethics and personal inspiration trump anything written or spoken by man, regardless of that man’s connection with God, real or imagined.
Having said that, I am Mormon. I think I said it before but in the secular world, you don’t just stop being Mormon. It is what it is. I spent my whole life building the typical TBM lifestyle with little to no friends outside the church and obviously no immediate family members or in-laws. And, I agree with what Ray says all the time: the cosmology is fantastic and the “men are that they might have joy” means the world to me. I can slip into a comfortable transcendent world-view/universe-view and experience human emotion in ways that I wouldn’t be able to find otherwise. Yes, I could have similar experiences at different levels but, it would be different.
What’s changed for me, and it did come through most glaringly at this baptism, is that I can experience that, enjoy that, share that with others, AND stay true to myself by staying removed from the world-wide organization and not contributing financially to said organization. I attempt to contribute to my local congregation through service and support and letting them count me in sacrament meeting. And, frankly, my ward is fabulous considering the circumstances.
I’m sure there are some who would see this as splitting hairs but it works for me. Those who would not extend me that charity are free to do so; however, I choose to extend them all of the charity that is humanly possible.
So, even with the amazing growth and knowledge that I credit to all the good people here at stayLDS, I would still have made the same decision. It certainly would have looked different and felt different but the underlying issue remains. Having said that, my current state of personal spiritual, emotional, and intellectual health I owe almost exclusively to what I’ve gained by participating here. I’m able to allow myself to stayLDS while not being LDS (huh??).
On a related note, I’ll admit something that I’ve never admitted before. It is kinda fun for me to do something that I’ve never heard of anyone doing before. I’m sure I’m not that unique but I like to think I am…
😳 😳 Quote:It is kinda fun for me to do something that I’ve never heard of anyone doing before. I’m sure I’m not that unique but I like to think I am…
It’s ok, swim. You’ll grow out of that some day.
😆 😈 Swim- Very nice. I think you made the right decision for you. I have a tremendous amount of respect for your courage, and conviction in standing up for what you believe in. May we all be so bold in our individual endeavors!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.