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When I stopped going to church nearly 11 years ago now my oldest was 12 and the youngest was 6. My wife has remained very TBM and has taken them to church each and every Sunday, and they’ve done seminary as well. They are aware of some of my doubts and there have been things that they have not participated in because of me. My daughter does have some doubts, particularly about feminist issues, and doesn’t attend all the time. My oldest son is currently serving a mission and the other two are active at home (albeit some is forced activity). Likewise, I have observed very active families who attend and serve without question, hold weekly FHE, etc., with inactive children and children from less active families who struggle with family divorce and commandment issues who are active and even TBM. Frankly, I have come to the conclusion that our won activity matter little – each individual has to make his or her own decisions and does. I’m not sure what kinds of experiences push people one way or the other because each of us has our own individual experiences and ways in which we individually respond to them. I think it is the spirit, or the gods, talkng and leading the people into another great spiritual awakening…organized religion had failed…people of all faiths can feel it and are moving to something…better, hopefully. Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
Recently, I have thought about this alot as one of my close friends has family members that appear to be leaving the church. I come from a large family and using my understanding of what TBM means, we are all of the TBM variety. That said none of us have had callings higher than EQ president and we all balked at that. (We have frequently said that anyone who aspires to bishop deserves it.) We rarely had FHE, even though my mother tried. The more I think about it, the more I think for us it really is a family thing. We grew up a mile outside of a small town so we are all close even if some of us can’t stand others of us. (I think a couple of my sisters wouldn’t mind too much if they only spoke on a yearly basis or less.) We learned and leaned on each other growing up, my best friends are family members. (Note: It was a small Utah town so I think that helped as well.) I know I am extremely lucky/blessed with my family. I just read my post and thought I sounded a little boastful and that was not my intent, so I wanted to clarify or try to. I am not saying anyone’s family isn’t as close as mine (we fight as hard as everyone else I have seen.) I am just stating why I believe my family is the way it is. Last week this wasn’t my opinion. Next week it may change again. Currently it appears to me, it just seems that the relationship you have with your siblings plays a significant role in your activity. DarkJedi wrote:Old-Timer wrote:The online seminary program is very good for an online program. Some kids would thrive who don’t do well in a traditional early morning program, but other kids need the live interaction and would flounder in an online program. I’d like to have both available, no pressure either way, and allow parents and students to choose which one they want to do.
I agree that would be optimal. Many years ago, in the “home study” days (I know, it still does exist), our ward made the decision to have early morning seminary only, no more home study option. Sadly, there were kids and families for whom early morning just doesn’t work and those kids were left out. At the time I was generally supportive of the idea, but in retrospect I’d push for wards/stakes not taking such an all or nothing approach in all areas (not just seminary).
I had home study – it was the only option available at the time – and it wasn’t right for me. I really didn’t have the self discipline to make myself do 4 days’ worth of seminary packets in a timely fashion. By my junior year of HS, I went to the Monday morning classes (they were great) but didn’t bother with the packets. I’m glad my kids will have the option of going every day. I think it helps the kids to see each other as social equals, too, something that never really happened for me.
I like to remind my TBM husband that seminary isn’t a saving ordinance. He grew up in Idaho and attended school release seminary in the middle of his school day, so I don’t think he can even really judge. (And I wish school release was an option out here in the Midwest, it would really help with scheduling issues. Then again, I’m not totally comfortable with seminary teachers in ID/UT getting paid a salary to teach the gospel when seminary teachers out here are expected to do it for free.)
Quote:Then again, I’m not totally comfortable with seminary teachers in ID/UT getting paid a salary to teach the gospel when seminary teachers out here are expected to do it for free.)
To be fair, there is a difference between doing something full-time (teaching as many as 150+ students) and doing it for less than one hour a day (teaching 1-15 students, generally). I’ve been an unpaid Seminary teacher three times, so I understand the issue of all the time early morning teachers often put into it, but when you’re dealing with hundreds (sometimes thousands) of students in one school and a handful of students in a multi-city ward, there almost have to be different models to accommodate the practical differences.
DarkJedi wrote:I know a very angry now inactive individual who became very put out that the church only offered him limited assistance during a period of unemployment after he and his family had faithfully served, tithed, given generous fast offerings, etc. The bishop actually cut him off after six months with the “It’s meant to be temporary assistance” line.
This has been an interesting thread for me.After a lifetime of church membership, mission, temple marriage, tithing, FOs, church callings with youth and in bishoprics and High Council, FHE, family prayer and scripture study, father’s blessings, and all the rest of the typical mormon life we commit to…there I was 5-6 years ago facing the breakdown of my family and my eternal marriage.
Strange results indeed. I remember thinking…”Its not supposed to happen like this. Where are all the promises?”
Truth is…promises don’t become easily fulfilled in specific circumstances. They just become more promises…”One day it will be made right” or “We learn from these situations” or “Enduring with a glad heart will lead to greater blessings in the next life”.
Truth is, I have learned. I’ve learned a lot. And mostly, a lot of what I learn is about managing my expectations on promises. Like the person DarkJedi knows, there are real blessings and help the church provides, it just might not be to the person’s expected levels. And then it is put back on to the individual to figure out what to do with the strange results that are experienced.
It has not made me bitter, only more humbled that I should not have thought I’d be so special from others who go through things in this life. I see the good the church offers my family, and I adjust my views on what I believe because of the experiences I have in life, and let go of expecting gospel living will result in what I think it should provide me, and allow it to bless me as it can, not as I think it should.
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