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Hard vigourus exercise at least 4 times a week. hawkgrrrl wrote:Quote:Any suggestions about what to do when you feel no desire to do anything in your life
Candy Crush and Cheetos.
I have been struggling caring about what I “normally” care about.
Seriously Candy Crush has been a cheap therapy for the last month. Only I have mixed with the Hershey’s Raspberry Hugs they have out for Valentines Day.I won’t admit what level I am on. I am looking forward to some gardening, it usually a great stress reliever for me. The end result is gratifying.
I’ve had my share of bad comfort food over the last month. Ann, you are right, I am normally energetic and my wife told me I’ve drifted into the Normal range now. She says “most people work, maybe have a casual outside interest, and that’s it”. I find that hard to believe, frankly.
Here are a few things I’m doing to cope:
a) Answering emails and texts in two days rather than one — or when I feel like it.
b) Scheduling appointments in a week or two rather than immediately.
c) Cut out lots of stuff
d) Don’t volunteer to do things
e) Delegate stuff to my wife that I think she will agree to and can do as well as I can.
f) Pick away at cleaning up certain areas of my house that need attention — when I feel like it, but usually once a day.
g) watching comedy shows like Psych (a sherlock holmes-esque detective comedy with some amazing acting).
h) stopped caring deeply about anything but my family, while still doing my day to day work.
Passion is draining, you know….
I didn’t have time to read all the responses, so someone may have already said this, so ignore this if they did. You said you don’t want meds, but going in just for counseling with a a professional therapist can help a lot. I went for counseling in the past and told the therapist I wouldn’t take meds, so not to even suggest it. Fortunately, I found that getting to air my feelings out loud to someone in person helped immensely. The suggestions he made also helped a lot and included many of the things mentioned here. He did tell me though, that just the act of putting words together and expressing them to a non-judgmental person face-to-face is very therapeutic. He was right and I was able to pass through that time of my life and return to finding joy again. Now if I see those empty feelings coming on again, I just go talk to someone impartial. It works for me. first of all here here to Hawkgirls..haha that is funny. Candy Crush has this weird ability to turn off my brain the never turns off and has gotten me to shut my mouth when needed on more than one occasion. But I just may have to go to Candy Crush rehab..haha But Yes, you sound like you have reached a more normal level. Is that bad, or does that cause you to feel depressed? b/c every one’s “normal” is different IMO. If doing all of those things truly made you happy, and you didn’t put all of your value in your accomplishments, but rather found joy in busy, then maybe that is just who your are. But if you no longer need to do those things to feel or be happy and you enjoy relaxing more, then hurray. But if it is depression or anxiety then maybe a therapist would be helpful. ?? I always find talking to a non-biased ear to be helpful.
I hope you find peace. I am excited about that book that was mentioned. I am going to look that up TODAY!
first of all here here to Hawkgirls..haha that is funny. Candy Crush has this weird ability to turn off my brain the never turns off and has gotten me to shut my mouth when needed on more than one occasion. But I just may have to go to Candy Crush rehab..haha But Yes, you sound like you have reached a more normal level. Is that bad, or does that cause you to feel depressed? b/c every one’s “normal” is different IMO. If doing all of those things truly made you happy, and you didn’t put all of your value in your accomplishments, but rather found joy in busy, then maybe that is just who your are. But if you no longer need to do those things to feel or be happy and you enjoy relaxing more, then hurray. But if it is depression or anxiety then maybe a therapist would be helpful. ?? I always find talking to a non-biased ear to be helpful.
I hope you find peace.
I am excited about that book David Burns “Feeling Good”. I am going to look that up TODAY! Thanks for mentioning it.
I’m so with you right now, SD. I wish I had some advice but that would mean I could pull myself out of my own slump.
The last year has been a mad dash first with a difficult employer and a hectic job and then with a much better new employer and an even more hectic job. Things are finally slowing down and I just feel exhausted. I’ve been hanging out on my favorite forums just looking for ways to avoid working.I desperately need a vacation. But then I might not want to come back. LOL.
Candy Crush.
Now there’s an idea…
Sorry to hear that — better employer, more hectic work — so you’re even. I had just gotten my inner peace back (but not my motivation), and then my employer slapped me with a new set of responsibilities that have replaced all the the things I cut out of my life earlier.
Jeffrey Holland’s advice to “slow down” during despondency is good advice – it was working for me. So I am now trying to figure out how to cut other things out of my life…..
Slowing down is good. I think I need to learn to meditate better. My brain just never shuts off. Even sleeping last night, I dreamt of two boys in my Sunday school class who I’ve been trying to reach (short version: they’ve recently gone totally inactive and they are in some trouble). I worry about them and I want them to know I care – regardless of whether they come to church. That’s tangential to this thread, I know. But it illustrates how my brain just won’t shut down.
When I was younger and under stress, I would hyper focus, get super motivated, and manage to get everything done.
The older I get, when I feel those tugs in a million directions, I just feel inertia and I lose focus.
I hate to say this, but when I have been in situations where the lack of motivation comes from bad human relationships, I have found that refraining from proactivity helps. “Refraining from proactivity” is a euphimism for “caring too much”. Its a resignedness, that I have found is giving me a certain measure of peace. I can summarize that sentiment in three words. Mother. In. Law.
She’s so toxic that I am going through a detox period where I literally don’t answer the phone when she calls. It’s the only way to quell the homicidal inclinations….
SD, I feel for you, man. I will pray for you that you will find peace in this. I do have an anxiety disorder, so I know what suffering from anxiety is like. I do suffer from some depression, but it’s not a bad as the anxiety gets at times. For me what helps is practicing meditation after I wake up in the morning and getting help from case workers and counselors in the mental health field. Those could really help you too. Like you, cutting down on some things in my life has also helped.
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