Home Page Forums General Discussion Sunstone – Why I Stay

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  • #209090
    Anonymous
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    My husband usually attends Sunstone, but not this year. This morning the facebook feed had a picture of the session, “Why I Stay”. The room is packed. It’s probably always attended but this is fuller than usual, according to him.

    I am taking it as a sign that our deck on the ship of Mormonism is filling up and over flowing. :D

    #288663
    Anonymous
    Guest

    How many people would the room fit normally?

    What’s typical attendance like at the conference (overall)?

    #288664
    Anonymous
    Guest

    The following are the notes of a friend of mine who attended that session. I especially loved the reasons Sister Montgomery listed for staying:


    In the middle of the most perennially popular and well received session at Sunstone is entitled “Why We Stay”.

    Boyd Jay Petersen and Wendy Williams Montgomery just fed and enlarged my soul and confirmed my understanding.

    My notes:

    (Wendy Montgomery brought the house down and received a hearty and prolonged standing ovation):

    The butterflies in my stomach have multiplied and replenished, more than filling the measure of their creation.

    When my son Jordan was 13 we found out he was gay. (He now just turned 16)

    Polarizing world of LGBT issues. Was blessed to recognize truth when I came upon it. (Stopped reading Mormon stuff–so confusing) read the professional stuff on homosexuality.)

    Uchtdorf: thinking we know the answers already prevents revelation. How often does the Spirit try to teach us something new but cannot get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew.

    This especially in terms of homosexuality.

    Unconditionally loves, protects, and fights for her son.

    Especially hard on Sundays because of how they are treated. Even had to switch wards. My faith has taken a severe beating. But I still believe Mormons are good people. Though there are constant attacks on my heart. Judgemental comments and lessons at church

    Yet none of us are relieved of the responsibility of being patient or tolerant

    5 reasons why I personally stay (not necessarily for others):

    1. So other gay people will know they have a friend sitting next to them (especially the youth)

    2. So other parents will have a positive example of how to love and accept and support their gay son and not reject their children

    (My husband spent his 40th bday talking my son out of suicide)

    We need to actively love. Tolerance is not enough.

    3. I stay because this is my church too.

    Make a place for others to return

    4. I feel God has called me to be an LGBT ally.

    Just because I don’t understand how they fit in God’s plan doesn’t mean He doesn’t know.

    5. I believe the core doctrines of the church. Believe it is a vehicle leading me to Christ. I often find Him here in this church.

    Carol Lynn Pearson: “where I do not feel love I have the opportunity to create love”

    The suffering will be small compared to the glory to be revealed. I have seen the glory in my sons soul and it is magnificent

    Boyd Peterson was hilarious and started with a funny top 10 list of reasons “why I stay” in the spirit of David letterman. (Can’t text them fast enough into my phone)

    “If you do not ask the right questions, you do not get the right answers”

    -Edward Hodnett

    Staying isn’t such a noble thing. (Dogs do that.) It’s what you do while staying that counts.

    Growing up in Provo: Mayberry or Pleasantville? (Both)

    Parents big secret, besides the fact they didn’t attend church: a big red cup of social rejection: coffee (folgers)

    King Follet in seminary, temple, mission to Paris France helped to forged a personal religious identity free from my upbringing

    Love the atonement, and that the humanity and divinity of Jesus are both important

    Being a practicing Mormon, and attending church, forces me to confront people who are radically different than me. Practical charity. Learn to love people who are not like us. (He’s a Democrat in Utah Valley)

    Eugene England (What the Church Means to People Like Me)

    Many people think the Latin root word of religion is logio, or ligament, to bind us together. A community of people who work together and love each other despite their differences.

    Linda Mercadante (belief without borders)

    Balance of individualism and group cohesion, balance of faith and reason, etc

    I see the church as a very human organization, whose culture perpetuates obedience to inane customs, but I also believe in inspiration and divinity.

    #288665
    Anonymous
    Guest

    There were some good reasons for staying here — such as providing comfort and example to others in similar situations.

    One bothered me, though.

    Quote:

    Staying isn’t such a noble thing. (Dogs do that.) It’s what you do while staying that counts.

    I think that for some people, staying is all they can do until they get onto a new paradigm. I personally am not doing much other than keeping my marriage happy and my children supported. And I had a period of a couple years when I was healing where all I did was go to church and maybe do some home teaching. It was the gentle wearing away of old memories and the influence of the spirit that revived me….so, I would hesitate to say that simply staying without contributing isn’t noble….

    For example, in the last year my “priesthood” has been used in service to others in the community. Lots of good done there….

    Also, isn’t it a temple recommend question that asks if you attend symposia that are not in harmony with the gospel — and wasn’t that a result of Sunstone?

    #288666
    Anonymous
    Guest

    SD, fwiw, in the type of situation you described in your own life, as you said, I think the time of “just staying” actually fits what was said in the session – since you weren’t “just staying” but rather were healing and recharging. I think it fits Elder Wirthlin’s category of people who are tired – and allowing tired people to rest in order to serve again in the future, to some degree in some capacity, isn’t “just staying”, imo.

    Also, staying for family isn’t “just staying”, either. It is staying for a purpose – just like a non-member attending to support spouse and/or kids is noble and not “just attending”.

    #288667
    Anonymous
    Guest

    SilentDawning wrote:

    Also, isn’t it a temple recommend question that asks if you attend symposia that are not in harmony with the gospel — and wasn’t that a result of Sunstone?


    The temple recommend interview questions are available here (I think question 7 is the one you are referring to):

    http://en.fairmormon.org/Mormonism_and_temples/Worthiness_to_enter” class=”bbcode_url”>http://en.fairmormon.org/Mormonism_and_temples/Worthiness_to_enter

    There is certainly a lot of room for interpretation on this question, especially “accepted by the Church…” Even some teachings of former presidents of the church are no long “accepted by the Church” according to the essays on lds.org.

    If I apply the question literally, I have to admit that I pay federal taxes and in doing so support an organization some of whose practices I see as contrary to those accepted by the church. Similarly, a literal interpretation means that pretty much any political group affiliation disqualifies me from receiving a temple recommend. I also affiliate daily with fellow graduate students whose “practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church…”

    I don’t really think that any of these things disqualify from receiving a temple recommend, I am just trying to make a point. The point being that the question cannot be taken literally, and I have to decide for myself what sort of affiliation would make me “unworthy” to enter the temple. I don’t see attending Sunstone as that type of affiliation. My bishop might. My stake president might. But my being worthy of a temple recommend doesn’t depend on how they would answer the question for me.

    #288668
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Well said.

    #288669
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I know this thread is about Sunstone and staying, but I’m going to wander off just a bit.

    Leapfrog wrote –

    Quote:

    There is certainly a lot of room for interpretation on this question, especially “accepted by the Church…” Even some teachings of former presidents of the church are no long “accepted by the Church” according to the essays on lds.org.

    If I apply the question literally, I have to admit that I pay federal taxes and in doing so support an organization some of whose practices I see as contrary to those accepted by the church. Similarly, a literal interpretation means that pretty much any political group affiliation disqualifies me from receiving a temple recommend. I also affiliate daily with fellow graduate students whose “practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church…”

    I don’t really think that any of these things disqualify from receiving a temple recommend, I am just trying to make a point. The point being that the question cannot be taken literally, and I have to decide for myself what sort of affiliation would make me “unworthy” to enter the temple. I don’t see attending Sunstone as that type of affiliation. My bishop might. My stake president might. But my being worthy of a temple recommend doesn’t depend on how they would answer the question for me.

    I agree, and for me this I why I think the Church could use a new set of TR questions.

    I associate with people daily “whose practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church.” My evangelical neighbors, my LGBT friends, my friends in my kids theater group who are democrat or liberal, in fact my kids theater group has practices contrary to those accepted by the Church.

    Also for what it’s worth, I understand Cheiko Okazaki attended Sunstone, maybe not regularly but a couple of times people met her there, so I figure the church as an organization doesn’t see Sunstone in the deeply negative light – they may not love it, but they see it serves a purpose. As Leapfrog said – not every leader will see it that way, but between Heavenly Father and myself – I am not going to worry.

    #288670
    Anonymous
    Guest

    mom3 wrote:

    Also for what it’s worth, I understand Cheiko Okazaki attended Sunstone, maybe not regularly but a couple of times people met her there, so I figure the church as an organization doesn’t see Sunstone in the deeply negative light – they may not love it, but they see it serves a purpose. As Leapfrog said – not every leader will see it that way, but between Heavenly Father and myself – I am not going to worry.


    Along similar lines, I recall an interview of Jeff Burton who writes the Borderlands article for Sunstone magazine where he mentioned receiving correspondence from a general authority who said he regularly read Sunstone and Burton’s column and was appreciative of the work Burton was doing for members of the church.

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