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My husband has a transgender colleague who is my FB friend. Another FB friend is a LDS Pulpit pounder. To see them both comment on an online story is amazingly entertaining. They are polar opposites in their views, and both excellent human beings. Politically and religiously, I align myself with neither. I do like the term “Middle ground”. My DH would like me to be TBM. I cannot be that. This last week, he asked if I had totally gone to the ExMormon.com crowd. Nope .. Not that either.
Such a journey of self discover! I am enjoying the process of figuring out what I beleive. For the first time ever, I get to figure out my relationship with God .. Without anyone telling me what it is supposed to be.
It feels like I’m going on a true adventure.
I think you have to find other things in which to take comfort. I take comfort in different things now that I have found the church isn’t there for me even on temporal issues that are well within their power (I am NOT talking about church welfare). And that for decades, it was misleading about its history. I have comfort that I will have no regrets about how I am using my time right now (although I could spend more time with my son). Far more comfort than I would have if I was spending all my spare time in low value-added activities like chasing less active people or cleaning up ward records, or sitting through leadership and priesthood meetings with no published agenda, which may, or may not be of importance to me. I am rarely ever bored any more — and boredom was a staple of my LDS experience when I was fully active.
Comfort that I believe God is merciful and sees the big picture of our lives. Comfort that when I pray, I do feel some aspect of the Spirit. Comfort in the fact that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been capable of achieving so much more than I was as a young person, and that I expect that to continue in the after-life. Comfort that I have done a lot of good in my life, and that I believe God will acknowledge it somehow — as well as some of the extraordinary circumstances I have faced in my life that have made me who I am.
Comfort knowing there are a lot of other people (like people here) who share in concerns about the implications of a fully active, TR-holding life in the church. I am much happier now without it being so prevalent in my life. Way happier — and that is a source of comfort as well. But I would be sad if it was totally gone. Being a a Mormon is part of what I was, and part of what I am. But it has boundaries now. Boundaries are good…
SilentDawning wrote:I think you have to find other things in which to take comfort. I take comfort in different things now that I have found the church isn’t there for me even on temporal issues that are well within their power (I am NOT talking about church welfare). And that for decades, it was misleading about its history. I have comfort that I will have no regrets about how I am using my time right now (although I could spend more time with my son).
Far more comfort than I would have if I was spending all my spare time in low value-added activities like chasing less active people or cleaning up ward records, or sitting through leadership and priesthood meetings with no published agenda, which may, or may not be of importance to me. I am rarely ever bored any more — and boredom was a staple of my LDS experience when I was fully active.
Comfort that I believe God is merciful and sees the big picture of our lives. Comfort that when I pray, I do feel some aspect of the Spirit. Comfort in the fact that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been capable of achieving so much more than I was as a young person, and that I expect that to continue in the after-life. Comfort that I have done a lot of good in my life, and that I believe God will acknowledge it somehow — as well as some of the extraordinary circumstances I have faced in my life that have made me who I am.
Comfort knowing there are a lot of other people (like people here) who share in concerns about the implications of a fully active, TR-holding life in the church. I am much happier now without it being so prevalent in my life. Way happier — and that is a source of comfort as well. But I would be sad if it was totally gone. Being a a Mormon is part of what I was, and part of what I am. But it has boundaries now. Boundaries are good…
I can just feel the hate and anger between the lines of what you are saying. NOT. I really like how calm and at peace you sound with where you are.amateurparent wrote:It feels like I’m going on a true adventure.
I agree. I am moving a bit out of my anger stage and more into figuring out what
Iam going to do. Great post university, and a lot of good replies. Except for the 50 shades conversation that filtered in haha! I have no desire to watch anoter chickflick. I know i know there are merits to it i just don’t want to throw my hat in. I would say to your original question about how to cope with these extreme views is it doesn’t matter. You maybe just have to let it go . I have a few friends that are democrat, I know right? And they have varying views on many different things, it’s true that most members of the church are republicans or a good majority but that doesn’t mean theres no room for dems or libertarians like me. We’ll deal with these different views in different ways so I would say knowing that, you’re going to come up with different views is let it go.
I said to myself im not going to let other people keep from going to my church. That’s how I deal with the extreme letter of the law people and the anything goes crowd. I am now at a good place where I don’t condemn or judge quickly and harshly like I used to when I hear that so and so is drinking coffee or has a stripper pole in the basement. I also allow those that thump the pulpit and say we’re not doing enough because we’re not following this or that to have their say.
I remember a talk about 15 years ago, about the letter of the law ppl and the spirit of the law ppl getting along and allowing each other to have their views. I didn’t totally understand it at the time like i do now.
Whoever gave it had probably had their own crisis or was trying to find a way to cope.
It can be done.
LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:I remember a talk about 15 years ago, about the letter of the law ppl and the spirit of the law ppl getting along and allowing each other to have their views. I didn’t totally understand it at the time like i do now.
Whoever gave it had probably had their own crisis or was trying to find a way to cope.
It can be done.
Good comments, LDS_Scoutmaster.You may be referring to Richard Poll’s talk on
What the Church Means to People Like MeHe talks of Iron Rod members (letter of the law) and Liahona members (spirit of the law):
Quote:Both kinds of members are found at every level of Church responsibility–in bishoprics and Relief Society presidencies, in stake presidencies and high councils, and even among the General Authorities. But whatever their private orientation, the public deportment of the General Authorities seems to me to represent a compromise, which would be natural in the circumstances. They satisfy the Iron Rods by emphasizing the solid core of revealed truth and discouraging speculative inquiry into matters of faith and morals, and they comfort the Liahonas by resisting the pressure to make pronouncements on all subjects and by reminding the Saints that God has not revealed the answer to every question or defined the response to every prayer.
As I have suggested, the Iron Rods and the Liahonas have some difficulty understanding each other. Lacking the patience, wisdom, breadth of experience, or depth of institutional commitment of the General Authorities, we sometimes criticize and judge each other. But usually we live and let live–each finding in the Church what meets his needs and all sharing the Gospel blessings which do not depend on identity of testimony.
Richard Poll’s talk is one of my most loved talks I have ever heard. LookingHard wrote:Richard Poll’s talk is one of my most loved talks I have ever heard.
Do you find very many people support Liahona members? Are they legitimate, or just what the Liahona member wants to legitimize?I do find that, Heber13 – IF the spirit of the law members are open AND respectful and use regular Mormon-speak. Heber13 wrote:You may be referring to Richard Poll’s talk on What the Church Means to People Like Me.
Yes that’s it! Thanks for posting the link, that’s one that I’ve wanted to revisit but didn’t remember where it was at.
I’m one of those that is partially an iron rod and liahona member at the same time on different issues, but I’ve become so much more forgiving and tolerant and accepting of others viewpoints, dare I say flaws. They sin differently than I do and I hope they don’t condemn me for not living up to their standard, whatever standard that may be. I don’t hold it against them if I think they are out in left field.
I often think to myself that if the Savior can forgive me for being such an idiot sometimes, I sure can let a lot slide from those around me.
Same here Scoutmaster. There are a few things I think are really important. For one that I am still much more on the iron rod side is a strong work ethic. My kids will tell you that I push them to work. I feel that it is important for people to be contributing to their own welfare, their family, and the community / world. I don’t feel I have time to sit and watch endless TV or video games. There are things to do, people to help, things to experience. But I have absolutely changed much of my orientation to be more of a Liahona kind of guy. I really don’t care all that much if someone wants to be an Iron Rodder, with one exception. When that Rod is used to hurt someone else. Then I get rather pissed and want to chunk my Liahona upside their head.
I had to do a double take at the title of this thread! Not what I thought it was, especially when I saw a Scout Master was involved. 😆 (Although seemingly it did go on in the early church!)
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