- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Ilovechrist77 wrote:
I agree with On Own Now about how we’re often taught in the church to pay tithing even though you may not have money for anything else you need. I know the Lord blesses people in his own way and time, but are people always supposed to suffer needlessly? We’re even taught in the church not to be irresponsible with money. I have no problem with tithing, but sometimes having faith is used as a excuse to give dangerous statements, which cause people to make sacrifices the Lord may not want people to make.
that;s what I think. I think it’s irresponsible to pay large sums of money when you don’t even have enough for your own needs. I find it ironic that the church teaches self-reliance constantly — but relegates self-reliance to second place as soon as the discussion turns to tithing.
If they are active members of the Church, I would let them learn it for themselves. They do spend many Sundays talking about tithing, so chances are they have heard that lesson many times. I paid on gross until the day I walked away…20+ years. I was a good Mormon…can’t believe they would throw us to the dogs…
Now, I tell my kids I will not pay tithing until the church agrees to financial transparency, and opens the books and tells me where my tithing money is being spent. I expect that from any charity and institution that runs on private donations.
I don’t think that is unreasonable request.
Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
Here’s a question to those of you with a single income. To the earner: is the money “mine” or “ours?”
To the non-earner: is the money “his/hers” or “ours.”
If ‘Jane’ as an earner does want to pay tithing but ‘John,’ her stay-at-home husband doesn’t, who gets the final say?
My wife has been a full time stay at home mum, and been brilliant at it. I’ve always said it’s “our money” not “my money.” So if one of us wants to pay tithing and the other doesn’t… How would you resolve that? My wife has always been very supportive of me continuing with my activity, including a full tithe, even though she’s not attending and probably wouldn’t pay a tithe if she had a job.
If I really mean what I say about it being “our” money, would 10% of half my salary still be a full tithe?
Just musing… I wonder what y’all think?
In my case, it’s our money – back when my wife didn’t work and since she went back to work. Quote:If I really mean what I say about it being “our” money, would 10% of half my salary still be a full tithe?
If my wife didn’t want to pay tithing, and if she didn’t want me to pay tithing on our total income, I would have no problem paying it only on my income (if we both had incomes) or paying it on half my income (if she had no other income). Personally, I would not be comfortable not paying it at all, since I want to pay tithing.
Good question Mackey. It’s OUR money, so I don’t know what I would do if one of us decided to pay tithing and one said no. I’ve never had that dilemma.
Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
mackay11, The most important factor is that you both have to feel comfortable with the amount.
Over the course of my life, I’ve seen two odd situations play out a few times. I find them both to be important reminders to moderate. At first, these might not sound pertinent to this conversation, but bear with me…
– Many times, I’ve seen church families, where the dad is a wage-earner and the mom stays at home with the kids, so the dad thinks of the money that he brings in as his money first. Sure, the house/car/electricity all get paid out of this, but he might spend discretionary funds on guns, golf, or games without batting an eye, while she buys diapers and baby food. He eats lunch with his co-workers at the local grill, while she eats macaroni and cheese every day for lunch.
– I’ve also seen many other cases, where a dad is the wage earner, mom stays with the kids, and the money is shared equally among all, until the kids get older and the mom takes a part-time job, but then treats that pot of money like it is her personal stash. I’ve actually heard more than one LDS woman refer to this as “my money”.
Both cases are wrong and selfish, obviously. The reason they are both wrong, IMO, is that the total income of the family should be OUR money. In the case of a single wage-earner and a stay-at-home parent, that is an agreed-upon arrangement that should leave no monetary inequity between the parties.
Now back to tithing. If the money belongs to BOTH of you, as an enterprise you’ve both entered into, then you need to both decide a figure that you are comfortable contributing from this corporation. I could make an argument that if the money belongs to both of you in aggregate, then YOU personally have no increase/income and should pay 10% of zero. I don’t think that would be fair to you. Conversely, since you are the wage-earner, one could argue that you pay whatever the hell you want, and she has to deal with it. But that’s not fair to her.
So, my recommendation is simply to work it out together, both understanding the other, and being willing to strike an amicable agreement, and stay true to it, and I would consider yourself a full-tithe payer.
Quote:Conversely, since you are the wage-earner, one could argue that you pay whatever the hell you want, and she has to deal with it. But that’s not fair to her.
Take it from me, that tactic doesn’t work and will create friction in the home. IMHO, that kind of ‘tude is something Lucifer would capitalize on in a hurry. Anger, resentment and jealousy are all things that can tear a family apart. As someone who attempted to take the free agency away from my spouse by TELLING her to go to Church, take it from me, it leads to harden hearts and no progress. I didn’t know what I was doing when I tried it, I actually attempted to MAKE someone do something. It wasn’t right and a BIG regret for me.
Peace in the home softens hearts and eventually changes people’s minds. Tithing will have be a group effort. If it is hopeless, than a visit to the Bishop or SP is in order.
Thanks for the responses. I should just clarify that my wife has been awesome. She hasn’t been involved in church for nearly 3 years but never complains or gets in the way. She’s awesome and I really appreciate what she does. Equally I’ve gone out of my way to not let the branches she’s been in make her a ‘project.’ It was more a musing about how we deal with situations where there’s different perspectives. Church0333 mentioned that he was concerned about what might happen with his son and his son’s wife if he gained a different perspective on tithing but she didn’t.
I guess in the end it’s best to come to a united agreement and then just set up a monthly bank transfer.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.