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Hi Everyone, I made an appointment with my bishop about a week ago for this afternoon at Church. Up until I got dressed this morning, I had no idea what I was going to talk to him about. I mean, I had a few things in mind, like bringing up the fact how hard it is to be a gay Mormon in the Church, and a couple of other things, but no real agenda in mind. As I was brushing my teeth (no joke) I believe I received some personal revelation about the temple. It has always held a special place in my heart, for whatever reason, and I had the unshakable feeling that I needed to return to the temple. I’ve only been going back to Church for a month, and hadn’t planned on even talking about a recommend with my bishop in this meeting at all. I wasn’t even going to bring it up.
As I was riding with my room mate to Church, the feeling still wouldn’t go away. And sure enough, during sacrament meeting, I had my personal revelation confirmed. And its not like it was a still small voice whispering this to me that I needed to go back to the temple. I don’t usually get unmistakable impressions, in fact, I can only think of three that I’ve gotten since I’ve been a member of the Church, including this one. As I said in one of my earlier posts, I kind of have a by the book bishop, so I was thinking in my head “Are you kidding me? You want me to ask for a temple recommend after being gone for eight months and only being back in Church for a month?” Needless to say, I usually eat breakfast before Church, but felt that I needed to fast a bit and so didn’t eat any this morning.
When I got to sacrament meeting this afternoon, ALL of the talks, including someone from the stake presidency, were on the temple or attending the temple. HELLO!!! LOL. It’s so weird how the Lord knows exactly what we need, when we need it. I’ll only be getting a limited use recommend, but the bishop and I agreed that he would give me an interview for a limited use recommend in two weeks. Next week is stake conference, and the week after is fast Sunday, and he wants me to pray and go through a whole fast Sunday before doing my interview. For what reason I’m not sure, but he agreed with me that there was no doubt I had received personal revelation about going to the temple. He said to me, “If you feel like you’ve received personal revelation that you need to go to the House of the Lord, then you need to go.” I was floored. Obviously we were on the same wave length. He knows I walk away for a long time at times, and then find my way back, so I was shocked that he was so willing to give me a recommend interview after only being back a short time. I was actually afraid to ask him about it, but again I wasn’t going to just ignore my prompting.
The Lord knows us better than we know ourselves I swear. I have no idea what he has in mind for me, or how much I’ll be going, but I’m excited. As I said the temple has always held a special place in my heart, and I haven’t had a recommend since March. Thanks for all your support and prayers. Comments are welcome.
~Kyle
Of the things about which I’m sure, one of them is that we really are known by God. That doesn’t help some people who feel disconnected from God, but it’s just something I’ve felt too often personally to disbelieve. I hope everything goes well for you – and, even more importantly, that whatever happens draws you even closer to God.
I don’t have anything to add really, but wanted to say thank you for sharing that personal story from your recent experience. It was really nice to read, and felt uplifting. That is a really neat experience. It is also nice that your bishop was willing to let you go and really listened to you. Thanks guys. This forum is an amazing place of support and it has really helped me a lot. I haven’t been able to always balance out my Church activity, like I said its either all or nothing for me, but I am slowly learning by being a part of this group, that it is possible to achieve a balance and struggle with things in the Church, but still be able to maintain happiness. Thank you again. ~Kyle
I’m glad it worked out for you. Sometimes even the most “by the book” BP may find a way to exercise compassion and understanding and a “work around” the rules to meet the spiritual needs of members. Sometimes. My experience has been very variable, which leads me to believe it’s a bit of a gamble, but I’m glad it worked out in your case. You might ask yourself what would you have done or felt, then, if he hadn’t of agreed, or decides after your next interview that he can’t do that, not to destroy your faith in God, revelation or the church/BP, but to prepare yourself in the event that things don’t go your way. Sexuality is a touchy issue in the church, and there are few guidelines on which BP’s can act in relation to SGA, which means they will rely upon their own sense of personal revelation, which may differ vastly from yours. I’d still exercise caution in disclosure. At any rate, I think it’s important to act on all impulses we feel are truly for our good (or someone else’s good, but not in a church-centric way, I might add).
Latterday Skeptic
Great thoughts, LDSkeptic. Skeptic, I had already thought about the question “What if the Bishop decides not to give me a temple recommend so early?”, going in to this first interview. I was prepared for the fact that I might not get what I want, but I knew I had to ask. I’m still prepared for that to happen. (The possibility that he may not grant me a temple recommend in our next interview.) But either way, I’ve decided to accept that whatever happens will be for my good. If I get a limited use recommend, great. If I don’t, then that will just give me more time to prepare and to learn to be humble about things. I’ve prepared the best I can for the worst possible answer, which would be a no. lol. I kind of figured there was no harm in asking though, as the only thing he could tell me was no, or not right now. So I’m prepared either way, and if I don’t get a recommend, then I will still be the humble Mormon I am and wait patiently until he thinks the time is right. Thanks for your thoughts everyone.
Kyle
Also, he knows I’m gay, but he also knows that I don’t act on my feelings. (As much as is possible not to.)
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