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Wondering what your thoughts are on suggesting the church essays to people? My family doesn’t know yet that I’m having serious doubts about the church. I’m planning on telling them sometime in the next couple weeks. But I was having a religious discussion with my dad and it made me think about bringing up the church essays but idk if it’s a good idea to bring them up or if I should say nothing unless he says something that the essays prove false. I think my main reason for wanting to tell him about the essays isn’t to ruin his testimony, but to help him be a bit more compassionate and understanding of why people leave sometimes. But my main question is whether I should bring them up before or after he knows I’m struggling with the church? And how do I present them, if I should bring it up? Generally speaking, I think it is best to mention the essays to orthodox believers when the topics they address are part of the natural conversation. A simple statement is good – something like:
Quote:The Church published an essay recently about that. I think you might enjoy it.
I generally would not bring them up in any way that directly points to “why some members leave”. That is too challenging / threatening to most people.
Personally, I’d only bring up the church essays in connection to a discussion about that topic. But if you are looking for something to recommend he read to become more empathetic, I’d go with Planted. hawkgrrrl wrote:
Personally, I’d only bring up the church essays in connection to a discussion about that topic. But if you are looking for something to recommend he read to become more empathetic, I’d go with Planted.
Huh. I was going to post exactly this. I’ve also heard The Crucible of Doubt is good, but I can definitely recommend Planted. So… +1, I guess?
Always Thinking wrote:
prove false
I’d recommend staying away from any conversation that could be considered trying to convince. Unless you want to receive the same when believers talk to you. If you stay with the idea that you no longer believe (or believe it all) then that can’t be proven false. If you accept that your dad believes, then that can’t be proven false either.Always Thinking wrote:
Wondering what your thoughts are on suggesting the church essays to people? My family doesn’t know yet that I’m having serious doubts about the church. I’m planning on telling them sometime in the next couple weeks. But I was having a religious discussion with my dad and it made me think about bringing up the church essays but idk if it’s a good idea to bring them up or if I should say nothing unless he says something that the essays prove false. I think my main reason for wanting to tell him about the essays isn’t to ruin his testimony, but to help him be a bit more compassionate and understanding of why people leave sometimes. But my main question is whether I should bring them up before or after he knows I’m struggling with the church? And how do I present them, if I should bring it up?
I agree with previous comments that the essays are for when they come up in conversation, naturally. Here is why I reached that conclusion…
I was teaching High Priest Group a while ago, and I asked if anyone knew about the gospel essays. One person enthusiastically put his hand up. No one else seemed to ahve a clue…except my ex-Bishop.
My ex=Bishop, a by-the-book, 3 time Bishop and former SP member looked shocked that I would even bring it up.
He then did what I felt was meant to be a “save” for my faux pas — he explained he felt they were primarily for people in leadership who run into people who speculate on topics like plural marriage etctera. He said previously that they had nothing, but pure speculation to answer those questions…now we have something to turn to.
I felt to move on. I realized at that moment the essays are there on the basis of need. Not for general distribution and evangalization to believing members. Just like Sunday lessons are to promote faith, not detract from it.
So, don’t bring them up. I personally have stopped looking at them as my little treasures, my little arsenal of church sanctioned comments that validate my feelings that the church has fallen short of its divine commission… They are there to help people when they ask questions or have doubts, not something to integrate into a believing members’ psyche.
I think the larger issue is your strategy for sharing your doubts….perhaps you think in sharing church-sanctioned essays that seem to validate, or at least, somewhat support the idea there are factors that cause doubt. I don’t blame you if you do — I think that is part of the reason I mentioned them in a HP meeting a while ago, speaking honestly.
But that’s a thread in itself…
On Own Now wrote:
Always Thinking wrote:
prove false
I’d recommend staying away from any conversation that could be considered trying to convince. Unless you want to receive the same when believers talk to you. If you stay with the idea that you no longer believe (or believe it all) then that can’t be proven false. If you accept that your dad believes, then that can’t be proven false either.
I was going to say this also…I am not sure the essays prove truth or false, and they can be taken in various ways, depending on a person’s point of view. I think it can prove that the church has made some statements about a topic, or perhaps put down some things that are rumors or hearsay or tradition that is false…like when the essays talk about race not having to do with pre-existence or something like that. It can eliminate some things people say “I heard a GA say…”It can be used to generate discussion, because it is on LDS.org, it is safe to present, and ask “what do you think about that?” and try to read where they are and how open they are to new ideas.
I also find it all depends on how I bring it up, and avoid the awkward “out of left field” controversial or negative comment.
I brought up the essays in HPG and even gave a few sentence overview of each essay’s contents. I even showed how to get them on your phone. None of the HP’s knew anything about them before.
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