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Sometimes teary testimonies were substituted for well-taught lessons in YW. :thumbdown: But even when the preparation and thought are there, the nerves-tears connection is very strong for some people.I hate crying. I’ve learned how to suppress it so much though that I think now I can’t feel emotions very well even positive ones. My husband cries during talks even though he rarely cries elsewhere but I know it is sincere in his case. I think being in front of so many people when speaking is emotional anyway. Once I cried out of intense embarrassment (in a different setting), so there could be some of that in play for some people. For those wanting to try to stop crying, one thing that helps me is to push my tongue up against my palate. This works to suppress a sneeze too.
TataniaAvalon wrote:I like to joke with my DH that I am part Vulcan because I don’t get emotional very often. I’m not a crier when it comes to church stuff 99% of the time. In fact growing up I always thought there was something wrong with me because I’d be at girls camp and everyone would be crying during testimony meeting, except me. Maybe I need to try the onion thing
I have never cried in church. Probably have not cried in 40 years. I always took it as a sign of strength when someone can express a feeling or belief without using the tear card. When someone starts crying it tends to invalidate what they are saying to me. I am a Vulcan for sure.
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There are times I get emotional at church. It is usually unexpected & rare. It usually happens while listening to a good talk or a good musical number.
It happened once when we went to a sacrament meeting in Nauvoo IL.
A recently returned missionary & his sister sang a duet titled: Oh if I were an angel.
I rarely bare my testimony. I wouldn’t if I felt emotional about it.
It’s interesting how we handle emotions in general in church.
The GENERAL rule seems to be for example, crying is good & acceptable. Laughter is bad & unacceptable.
I love that men are allowed to cry in the Church without negative stigma. I figure if God can weep, it’s not a bad hing to cry. That doesn’t mean I think crying is a good thing in all situations or that some tears are not genuine, but the absolute worst thing that could happen, imo, would be to perpetuate the harmful idea that real men don’t cry.
Old-Timer wrote:I love that men are allowed to cry in the Church without negative stigma. I figure if God can weep, it’s not a bad hing to cry.
That doesn’t mean I think crying is a good thing in all situations or that some tears are not genuine, but the absolute worst thing that could happen, imo, would be to perpetuate the harmful idea that real men don’t cry.
I agree. But it can be offputting. We used to have a Gospel Doctrine teacher (male) who cried A LOT! It got so bad that when one of us couldn’t make it to Sunday School, the first thing out of the absent spouse’s mouth when we got back together was “How long before Bro So and So started crying?” He was the type of man who would tell stories about his own private shortcomings and then weep copiously about them (I’m exaggerating a little). But his shortcomings were the typical things that we Mormons “confess” in public. “I forgot to say my prayers this morning.” (Cue: tears of regret). “I was on the bus and had an opportunity to share the gospel with my seat companion and did not do it.” (Cue: tears of remorse). “I didn’t read my scriptures and my day went badly.” (Cue: tears of contrition).
My wife (who is a lot more orthodox than I) and I made a lot of jokes about it…but guiltily. The thing was…he was a great teacher! He was also a very nice man and COMPLETELY sincere in his sadness over his (to my mind trivial) misdeeds. But he obviously felt differently. It was just a part of who he was.
I think I have greater need to repent for privately mocking him than he does for his various failings. So I will repent (but I probably won’t cry while I do it.)
Some people are more prone to crying when emotions are close to the surface. Other people aren’t more prone to it. Neither is right. I have been known to get emotional at times, and I can also be pretty devoid of public emotions under other, similar circumstances. Why is that? I have no idea. I don’t like forced tears, for sure, but as one who can occasionally succumb to emotions, I can’t complain when others do. I do have to say, though, that I was figuratively rolling my eyes yesterday in ward council when the sister who gave the “spiritual thought” talked about her study program (that she found online) for reading the scriptures and teared up at the end. She wasn’t testifying about a specific scripture or that she had gained anything by studying the scriptures – just that she found this program with daily scriptures to read and how wonderful that is. 🙄 In fairness, I will say that I think she probably needs a program (although I don’t know what’s wrong with the SS student booklet to give you that except it doesn’t say “read this Monday and read this Tuesday….). Hers was also for reading the the BoM, even though the study this year is NT. I do usually at least scan the lesson stuff, and since I like the NT I often read the scriptures but for me studying by topic works better and I don’t worry much if I miss reading the scriptures for a day or two (or a week or two for that matter).
On Own Now, thanks for the youtube video. That is a wonderful mixture of tears & laughter. Most of all, it was heart felt. Our talks, our lessons, our testimonies at best can be a mixture of both.
I think for me it’s the place of tears. They represent sadness – why cry about the Book of Mormon if it is a great Blessing to you? This thread has been very interesting. I think it’s a good analog for spirituality. Those who have it can’t understand those who don’t. Those who don’t have it can’t understand those who do. Those who feel it tend to assume that most others who express it are sincere. Those who don’t feel it tend to assume that most others who express it are faking.
Once again, as so frequently happens here, I find myself finding new levels of enlightenment by the realization that people see things differently.
Well said, OON. I agree OON, but I don’t want anyone to think I don’t think the above sister’s tears were insincere or faked. I guess just to illustrate your point more fully, I don’t understand what’s so spiritual about a stupid program that made her want to cry about it while “testifying” about something we don’t even need a testimony of. On Own Now wrote:This thread has been very interesting. I think it’s a good analog for spirituality.
Those who have it can’t understand those who don’t. Those who don’t have it can’t understand those who do. Those who feel it tend to assume that most others who express it are sincere. Those who don’t feel it tend to assume that most others who express it are faking.
Once again, as so frequently happens here, I find myself finding new levels of enlightenment by the realization that people see things differently.
Like I say, it’s not so much the crying that puzzles me, it’s the reason for crying.
It’s a bit like smiling when you’re desperately unhappy.
SamBee wrote:Like I say, it’s not so much the crying that puzzles me, it’s the reason for crying.
It’s a bit like smiling when you’re desperately unhappy.
I think that happens, too, Sam. I think that is very much part of what Pres. Uchtdorf talked about in “On Being Genuine.” Actually, on this topic I think it applies both ways.
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