- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
I was referred here by Old-Timer and John Dehlin, two guys that I really admire. As my name implies, I often feel like I’m living an oxymoron. I’ve been around the Bloggernacle for a little over a year and have made some great friends and gained some amazing insights and perspectives that have both strengthened and weakened my faith. I was at one time a TBM, but for as long as I can remember I always had questions and issues with certain things in the Church, my biggest issue being the priesthood ban and all the other issues that inevitably stem from it. For many years I put it on the backburner, perhaps hoping that I could forget it, but it started to bother me more and more. And once I read
Rough Stone Rolling, I was feeling pretty disillusioned and realized that the priesthood ban was just one of many issues that bothered me intensely. I was especially feeling angry for finding out that polygamy was not at all what I had always been told (i.e. taking care of all the widows and spinsters). So I felt my spiritual world crumbling and although my family is supportive and I’m able to be open with them, they themselves do not really study anything but Church materials and so they can’t really “get” what I’ve been going through. It’s not that they doubt any of it, it’s just that I guess they don’t feel the need to go there. And I’m OK with that, since I know how hard it is and I would rather them be blissfully ignorant than to have my whole family go through what I myself have personally been going through. I attend church in a small branch with about 15 active members, mostly seniors, and although my branch president and stake president are somewhat aware of my issues, I can’t really talk about it with anyone because I don’t think they can totally understand it, and because I risk being labelled as an apostate. So the online community (Bloggernacle and forums like this) is where I give and get my support because I know there are many others out there going through the same things. Personally, although I understand and respect those who have left the Church because of historical and doctrinal issues, I’m committed to staying in the Church for the following reasons:
a) When push comes to shove, I believe in the basic doctrines of the Church, particularly in the Godhead and the Plan of Salvation. I don’t believe all the theories and speculations surrounding these or other doctrines, but my concept of God and the Afterlife have weathered my spiritual storm. Although my views on certain details have been altered, I would still say that I very much adhere to traditional Mormon belief in that regard.
b) I think there is a lot of good in the Church that made me who I am today (which hopefully isn’t all that bad
c) At first glance, I’m just your regular Mormon, but some of my views and choices have been very unorthodox and I know I’m not alone. I think that the Church needs more diversity and as John Dehlin reminded me in one of his podcasts, THIS IS OUR CHURCH, TOO! Yes, it’s MY church and I’ll be damned (perhaps literally?
d) I’m in this for the long haul because dangit, I want a first row seat when we someday see big changes in the Church, particularly where homosexuality is concerned. I try not to speculate too much and I realize that I may be totally wrong or may never see it in my lifetime, but I personally believe that we’ve only scratched the surface on many things and that the Church’s views and teachings will continue to evolve. Yes, I say
continue to evolvebecause they haveevolved significantly on a variety of subjects over the years. It just hasn’t happened at the pace that most of us would like to see it happen. So that’s a brief introduction to me. I look forward to interaction with you all here on StayLDS.
You can find out more about me on my blog.
http://www.thefaithfuldissident.blogspot.com/http://www.thefaithfuldissident.blogspot.com/” class=”bbcode_url”> Welcome, FD. It’s great to have you here. Welcome, I’ve read your blog before. Good to see ya! Welcome! Glad to see you here. I have followed your blog and appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings. I hope this forum is as welcoming and comforting to you as it has been to me. Well wishes as you continue your journey of personal growth and development! Welcome! HiJolly
Welcome FaithfulDissident, I feel I share many of your same thoughts, based on your post above. That is why I feel at home with this group. I hope you do too.
I wonder sometimes if I should speak with my family about my thoughts. How much have you talked to yours? I haven’t really up until now, mostly because I think I know what they’ll say, and that they are unlikely to want to spend time on it as they haven’t seen a need to embark on the journey I felt I needed to take.
My brother is a bishop, my other brother is counselor in the bishopric, and I’m sure they are busy enough dealing with things as it is than to take on additional research and study. I just wondered if you felt support from your family or not.
I look forward to hearing your views on things, especially polygamy which is my current area of interest and there are some good discussions on these threads.
Welcome.
Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone. Heber, my family is pretty open and probably much more intellectually liberal than most Mormons. I’m very lucky that way. Even though they themselves don’t feel the need to “dig deeper,” they’ve never criticized me for doing so. My mom is the type of person who nothing shocks her and she follows my blog every day, even though she doesn’t feel “smart” enough to comment herself. My dad is more of the conservative type and my mom said that he once glanced at my blog but found it “depressing.” He’s never criticized me, but I think he’s scared to know all the “dirty details” of Mormon history and so he just doesn’t go there. And I respect that. I know he always had issues with the priesthood ban as well, but he’s been able to put them aside better than I have. I think it’s for the best that my family just go on doing what they’re doing — as long as they continue to respect me for doing what I’m doing.
Regarding polygamy, I haven’t done a real in-depth post about my personal feelings regarding polygamy, but Mormon Heretic did a post a while back which I can pretty much totally agree with. He and I really see eye-to-eye on some of these difficult issues. So check out his post on polygamy here:
http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/05/17/my-perspective-on-polygamy/ ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.mormonheretic.org/2009/05/17/my-perspective-on-polygamy/ Also, if you’re in for a long read sometime, check out Mormon Heretic’s post about the priesthood ban. I don’t believe the priesthood ban was inspired and I think it was all the result of misinterpretations and downright racism on the part of Brigham Young and others of his time.
http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/09/14/was-priesthood-ban-inspired/ ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.mormonheretic.org/2008/09/14/was-priesthood-ban-inspired/ Quote:I think it’s for the best that my family just go on doing what they’re doing — as long as they continue to respect me for doing what I’m doing.
What a great family to have such mutual respect, including yours to them. Bravo.
I will check out MH’s priesthood ban link. I’ve read through the polygamy discussion already. I found it interesting, and am digging deeper as some folks on this forum have suggested other reading material I will check out.
Welcome FD. My family is fairly typical although my wife’s family is TBM all the way. My wife, OTOH is, what I would consider, to be a liberal Mormon. BTW, I’m the heretic amongst the group (I think). I don’t believe in the literal reality of most things, but believe in a God of some kind. I think Joseph was a great mystic and brought forth many important metaphors that help me along the way. I find Joseph Campbell’s views to be very enlightening and I try to “follow my bliss.”
Heber, a few people in my family know about my blog, but not my wife. I think you need to be careful who you share your true feelings with. Of course, this is a perfect place to share concerns about the church. Welcome FD. I have read some of your blog and find it very interesting. You will certainly fit right in on this forum! I look forward to hearing more from you. Welcome. Totally cool! Hi FD, it’s great to see you here. Your carefully thought list of reasons really resonates with me. I have felt a lot of those same things in my process of deciding to stay in the Church. I look forward to more of your input here!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.