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The post entitled “What is Metaphorical” brought the following thought to my mind, which I want to post as a separate thread:
I think the only consistent way to be a Christian who knows anything about the compilation of scripture is to pick and choose what works for you literally AND figuratively / allegorically – what you can digest in what form, solid or liquid.
Every single member of every single denomination does it; some just aren’t aware that they are doing it.In the case of the LDS Church, it’s finding out they were Buffet Mormons all along without being aware of it that is the center of most crises of faith, imo. The ironic part for those who were happy as Buffet Mormons before in ignorance is that they really were happy as Buffet Mormons, but too many don’t stop and realize they simply need to accept that they still can be Buffet Mormons and be just as “faithful” as they had been previously – to their own understanding and beliefs as an individual person.
Most don’t need to leave the cafeteria; they just need to change their diets to some degree. They don’t need to raze the hosue in which they’ve lived; they need to learn how to remodel.Old-Timer wrote:I think the only consistent way to be a Christian who knows anything about the compilation of scripture is to pick and choose what works for you literally AND figuratively / allegorically – what you can digest in what form, solid or liquid.
Every single member of every single denomination does it; some just aren’t aware that they are doing it.The number of times I’ve heard people stand up and say ‘you can’t just pick and choose the commandments you want to live’ has been A LOT in my lifetime. Not doctrine, but in direct juxtaposition to what you’re saying.
If it keeps you active, but lukewarm, then so be it…I guess. Better to be lukewarm than stone cold?
I know you’re answer Ray– everyone’s a buffet Mormon at any given time, however, I think the TBM interpretation of a Buffet Mormon is much harsher on temple recommend commandments by the buffet Mormon hasn’t chosen.
I agree, SD, that many members reject “Buffet Mormonism” – but, again, I believe it’s because they just don’t understand that they actually are Buffet Mormons themselves. It’s smacking face-first into that recognition that causes so many crises. While I do like the idea of the buffet, I also think that there is a danger of rejecting certain doctrine just because we don’t like it. There are plenty of things in life which are uncomfortable or unpleasant, but which have to be faced. I consider these the dried out sausage rolls of the buffet. They must be eaten too, otherwise you are not getting the full buffet experience. I agree, Sam, that some things can’t be left completely out of one’s diet – but I have no problem with some eating them raw, while others cook them to a fare-thee-well – or some eating with a knife and fork, while others puree them or mix them in a stew – or eat them plain, while others put various seasonings on them – or any other analogy that would be appropriate. Even those things that probably should be on all plates at least occasionally don’t need to look or taste exactly the same on all plates.
I was thinking about this exact thing today! Coincidence?? đŸ™„ I think what makes the whole transition through stage 4 and the crisis of faith, is that there is such a chasm between someone RECOGNIZING that they are buffet and, maybe even more importantly, ACCEPTING that everyone’s buffet journey is just as valid as everyone else’s.
Iow, the buffet individual feels that they are entitled at some level to be the way they are because of a sense of superiority, being “chosen”, or being “certain”, and this allows them to see the sliver in the others eye (or whatever the term is
đŸ˜³ )Yeah, swim, it’s one thing to demand that I be allowed to be a Buffet Mormon and quite another to accept all other members’ plates – including, for this group for example, someone you might see as staunchly TBM. The real breakthrough occurs, I believe, when we realize that the TBM who used to drive us nuts simply is eating at the same buffet but choosing a different combination of food – and that’s ok and even good. If I want to be accepted, it’s critical to be accepting. When accepting a TBM plate as a legitimate meal occurs . . .
Old-Timer wrote:I believe it’s because they just don’t understand that they actually are Buffet Mormons themselves. It’s smacking face-first into that recognition that causes so many crises.
I completely agree, Ray. I definitely think that the realization of this is what causes so many crises, as you say.It seems to me that Stage 3 is picking and choosing at the buffet, and believing you’re picking and choosing the “right” things and leaving the rest of the buffet alone because those other things at the buffet are “not good”, mostly because God has told a small group what menu items to choose. So you invite others to take your menu items, and try to warn them of the dangers of the other things that we avoid at the buffet. And it is comforting knowing what you are partaking is the good stuff, and you feel sorry for others taking the other stuff…”if only they knew!” (and they don’t realize they are buffet mormons)
Stage 4 seems to be that stark realization we’re all picking and choosing, and some things we thought were “not good” are actually pretty good, and some things we limited ourselves to are actually bitter and we no longer want those bitter things. It creates confusion realizing there are actually options at the buffet we didn’t allow ourselves to consider before (and some anger why no one told us about these options before). It makes a person wonder how to pick and choose, start trying some new things, or may wonder if we just walk away from the buffet all together and don’t bother with it.
Stage 5 is returning to the buffet table, with excitement to take what you really want and what is really good for you personally, let others take what they want, and then just go enjoy the company as we all eat together, regardless of what is on our plates.
…maybe stage 6 is actually cooking up some new items to add to the menu? Not many know how to do this.
Whether we get into stages of faith, or just recognize the buffet style is really what everyone is doing, I fully embrace the metaphor and it brings me peace in dealing with my thoughts about church. Buffet Mormon is not only less faithful mormons, it is all Mormons and all Christians and all non-Christians. Bon Appetit!
I love being a buffet Mormon and I am happy to tell others that I am. It is very enlightening. Besides this way I only have to eat the desert. SilentDawning wrote:The number of times I’ve heard people stand up and say ‘you can’t just pick and choose the commandments you want to live’ has been A LOT in my lifetime. Not doctrine, but in direct juxtaposition to what you’re saying.
To me being a “buffet Mormon” has precious little to do with living commandments. It has more to do with deciding whether or not to go along with the other stuff that’s been tacked on by people who believe that since it’s from God’s mouth to their ear they have the responsibility to get others on board. Loving God and my neighbor is no problem. White shirts, brown bread and pioneer treks, I’ll pass on.
Gentlemen – I appreciate every post on this thread. I could quote everyone of them and say “yep, that’s what I think…” I can relate to the guilt and the joy of being a cafeteria mormon. I’ve been in that place where members and and family have accused me of being “apostate” for being a cafeteria mormon – and I’ve felt real pain and guilt for it, and I have also had some brief moments where I’ve felt great joy and relief going to church knowing that I don’t have to swallow the whole hook and sinker – and just bask in the spirit and do what I have to do to keep god alive in my own home. The days of feeling “good” rather than “bitter” are getting more and more — thanks folks for your help navigating this stage 4!
cwald wrote:Gentlemen – I appreciate every post on this thread. I could quote everyone of them and say “yep, that’s what I think…”
I can relate to the guilt and the joy of being a cafeteria mormon. I’ve been in that place where members and and family have accused me of being “apostate” for being a cafeteria mormon – and I’ve felt real pain and guilt for it, and I have also had some brief moments where I’ve felt great joy and relief going to church knowing that I don’t have to swallow the whole hook and sinker – and just bask in the spirit and do what I have to do to keep god alive in my own home. The days of feeling “good” rather than “bitter” are getting more and more — thanks folks for your help navigating this stage 4!
CWald I like your post. I think the toughest thing about being at the buffet is sometimes you have to sit alone. Sometimes you have to let others think that the crab in the salad is isn’t imitation. The hardest part of being at the buffet is that you may have to wait for a seat. It makes me scream sometimes when I’m in between NOMs and TBMs at the buffet and one says mozzrella sticks are Itallian, the other says they’re not, when the truth is they’re food and they taste good with or without sauce.
I think it’s better to be a Buffet Mormon than less active. For me, I have faithful children and a wife, and to go stone cold would hurt their commitment terribly. I totally believe that The Buffet is necessary for some (many?) members, including myself. I simply couldn’t survive in the Church if TBM were my only option. Nevertheless, I sometimes worry that it is to easy to rationalize away things that are worth while, that I don’t like for some reason. We can all choose to accept or not accept each portion of religion, but we are not free to choose the associated consequences. Quote:“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” D&C 130: 20-21
I believe and hope that God will forgive my honest mistakes, and my inability to do everything I know is right. I just have to make sure I am doing my level best.
Well said, dash. I believe there is an element of learning to digest some food that seems foreign or even a bit “yucky” upon first taste – a process of acclimation where we develop a taste for some things that are good for us but not necessarily “tasty” initially. However, when that idea is used to insist that we dull our sensitivities and ingest things that, in that moment, with our current digestive systems, would make us sick or possibly even poison us – that is when I have to insist that I follow the dictates of my own conscience and take responsibility for the results of my choices.
I believe in the concept that there is a law – but I’m not convinced that the concept includes as many applications as many people assume. I believe that pure laws are more like large umbrellas that cover many potential applications (like categories of food), and that there are fewer of those large umbrellas than most people believe. As long as I am eating a balanced diet (obeying generally the broad laws), there are many individual entrees, appetizers, beverages, desserts, etc. from which I can choose (more narrow rules that fit me individually) without harming myself or becoming sick. That also means, as Paul pointed out, that I am free to choose to NOT eat certain things that would put a stumbling block in front of those around me – even if, in isolation, those foods would not harm me in any significant way.
I believe deeply that we will not be punished for striving to understand and follow the dictates of our own consciences and trying to live as closely to Him as we are capable of doing – even as we get indigestion sometimes as we try to figure out the diet that will work for us. I think God will forgive indigestion in a sincere attempt to taste the full fruit of the Gospel far more readily than He will reward limiting ourselves to only what is easy to digest but never causes growth and enhanced health. I just don’t think he appreciates it when we assume out of pride that we can handle anything we want to eat at any portion size.
Indigestion is no cause to quit eating.It only means we need to adjust our diet – and, to me, pure Mormonism provides incredible flexibility to do so.
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