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http://www.lds.org/friend/2013/02/glad-youre-my-dad?lang=eng Quote:“I hate going without Dad,” Mark grumbled as he settled into the front seat beside Mom.
“I’m sad that Dad’s not going with us too,” Mom said as she backed out of the driveway. “But I still love going to church.”
“Well, I do too,” Mark said. “But you know what I mean, right? I wish our family could be more like Doug’s family.”
Doug was Mark’s best friend at church. Doug’s dad went to church every Sunday. He always had a smile and a high-five for Mark.
Mom rounded the corner onto the main road. “I do know what you mean,” she said. “Doug has a wonderful family. And I always thought our family would be more like that. It’s hard that it isn’t. I hope Dad can work out his questions and problems and start coming to church with us again. But that’s for him to figure out. You and I can’t do it for him, and worrying won’t help.”
What do you think?
I could nit-pick if I tried (and there are a couple of things I would have changed / added had I written it), but I really like it – especially for children. I like the honesty in the mother’s response. The last line is good:
Quote:You and I can’t do it for him, and worrying won’t help.
I guess I don’t like it much because of the memories I have of knowing that our family wasn’t like the exemplary families because of me and my lack of belief. Too late now. I liked it, despite the fact that it brings out memories for me, too. The Ensign should take it on. I thikn there needs to be an understanding by the mainstream membership that some members do question, and that questioning isn’t a time to shun them but to support them. All I really needed was someone to listen (not agree), and has taken me 10 years to find you folks here. I liked the focus on their wholerelationship. (I did think having the dad “lying on the couch” at church time was a little bit of a swipe, but maybe that’s exactly what happened.)
Why did they have a picture of president monson at the end of the article? I think the article was a net positive, especially considering the audience and the type of folks who would write church magazine articles.
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My bad 
Nevermind….my phone just downloaded the rest of the story….thanks Cwlad for mentioning the picture of Monson because I was all ” wait what picture of Monson? I didn’t see a picture of Monson,” so I went back and sure enough it had downloaded the rest of the article. Now that I have read it all I take back my original post, it is a very good article and a great message to send to everyone! Big point for the Friend! Ann wrote:I liked the focus on their
wholerelationship. (I did think having the dad “lying on the couch” at church time was a little bit of a swipe, but maybe that’s exactly what happened.)
I sometimes lay on the on the couch as the family leaves for church. Just saying.
Roy wrote:http://www.lds.org/friend/2013/02/glad-youre-my-dad?lang=eng Quote:“I hate going without Dad,” Mark grumbled as he settled into the front seat beside Mom.
“I’m sad that Dad’s not going with us too,” Mom said as she backed out of the driveway. “But I still love going to church.”
“Well, I do too,” Mark said. “But you know what I mean, right? I wish our family could be more like Doug’s family.”
Doug was Mark’s best friend at church. Doug’s dad went to church every Sunday. He always had a smile and a high-five for Mark.
Mom rounded the corner onto the main road. “I do know what you mean,” she said. “Doug has a wonderful family. And I always thought our family would be more like that. It’s hard that it isn’t. I hope Dad can work out his questions and problems and start coming to church with us again. But that’s for him to figure out. You and I can’t do it for him, and worrying won’t help.”
What do you think?
This excerpt has a few faux pas in it, mostly related to the comparison between Mark and Doug’s family .
1. It implies that Mark doesn’t have a very good family because his Dad doesn’t come to church. As I have said before, you can still have a wonderful family even if you don’t go to church.
2. It appears to further the one-uppance in the culture you sometimes see — where you have more status if everyone is active. Like “keeping up with the Jones’s” Mormon style.
3. It implies that when a Dad goes to church, this means everyone (like Doug) will be happy and giving everyone high fives. In real life, this isn’t always the case. Often, families suffer when their fathers are so busy in church callings, they don’t have time for their marriages and children. It can be better when the father takes a break and achieves a measure of balance in his life — and sometimes, that means a break from church. And happiness in a family comes from a wide range of experiences — from day to day conversation, to the family culture — not just whether they get in their car and drive to church every Sunday.
4. It amplifies the one thing the Dad is doing wrong — not going to church, when there may well have been 30 years of dedicated service behind him. Too much focus on one snapshot of the Dad’s life.
Good points
1. The mother gives the Dad space
2. She encourages Mark not to worry.
3. The mother still enjoys going to church in spite of her husband not present.
cwald wrote:Why did they have a picture of president monson at the end of the article?
I think the article was a net positive, especially considering the audience and the type of folks who would write church magazine articles.
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In the actual paper magazine article the picture of TSM was much smaller and in the corner with his quote. It appears that all this type of story in the Friend tie in some quote from a current church leader.
I had the following exchange with the author: Quote:
Hi Ana,
Read “Glad You’re My Dad” today at church. I’m a 34 yr old father with two VERY energetic kids. I was glad to see that subject of inactivity and faith crisis was handled with sensitivity.
I did have a question about the (based on a true story). Where do the stories you write about come from? Do you find them yourself or are they given to you?
Anyway thanks for putting heart into your work.
I am glad you found the story useful! The stories I have submitted to the Friend have all come from my family or family history. The Friend sometimes asks for stories on certain topics. “Glad You’re My Dad” was a response to one of these solicitations and was based on my husband’s childhood experiences. It resonates with me though now, too, as my own dad no longer participates in some aspects of the church. I hope this answers your questions. Thanks for writing.
I find it interesting that the Friend solicited this type of story. I am glad that they might want something to help address the needs of mixed faith families.
If I were to write based on true stories, writing about family experiences would be the way to go. I had imagined Ana combing the internet for topics to write about – No way. This way she can take as much creative license as she wants and only her family knows what really happened.
I especially liked how the Father still seemed spiritual in his own way of “Remember how blessed we are to live in this world, Mark,”
Overall considering the source (The Friend) and the intended audience, I was very pleased.
The snippet quoted in the post raises questions, but I like the entire story very much, since it portrays the father as a very good man despite his inactivity at church. I also am really happy to hear that the general topic was solicited by The Friend. That is a HUGE step forward. Reading the entire story instead of just the snippet changes the entire thing. It’s an excellent story. Note how his Dad wasn’t magically “fixed”. Note the focus on the positive and on Christ like behavior which is to just love and be grateful. Note how much growth Marc had at the end there and how much more Christlike his behavior was. My kiddo definitely needs to read this story. My husband is not Mormon and sometimes that’s very hard on her.
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