The Karpman Drama Triangle

[Anonymous]

There is a model that was in vogue for therapists a while back that seems relevant to some of the experiences we all have at church (and in life, to be honest). It’s called the Karpman Drama Triangle. More information can be found at this site: ht[url]tp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle[/url]

The Karpman Drama Triangle refers to a “game” that is a self-sustaining psychological worldview for some. When you identify that you are playing the “game,” you can choose to stop. Stopping improves both your relationships and your life. Stopping the “game” increases accountability and decreases negative drama. The game is a dysfunctional way to view yourself and the people in your life. There are 3 roles in the drama triangle:

– The Victim. When you view yourself as the victim, the focus is on how others have wronged you, how you are blameless (and powerless) and how other people are the ones responsible for what is wrong in your life.

– The Rescuer. When you view yourself as the rescuer, the focus is on being viewed as a good person (what others think of you is very important). You also mentally place others into the roles of “victim” (needing your rescue or advocacy) and “persecutor” (evil-doers who must be punished or corrected).

– The Persecutor. Someone in the role of persecutor feels they are in the right and that “right is might”; they like to flex their power and authority over others and force those weaker individuals to do the thing they consider to be right.

Often when people get wrapped up in this game, they view others primarily in these roles also, assigning them to roles (asking people to be rescuers or considering people to be victims or persecutors). But it is just a game. Even though at times people really are victims, some people really do persecute, and some people do rescue others, the psychological problems stem from this worldview. Transcending the Karpman Drama Triangle is a step toward empowerment and enlightenment.

Any thoughts on this model? Do you see it at play?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for this. Yeah, I see it happen. I think I have even found myself stuck in one of those games. It is rather liberating to break that cycle and opt out. It is an interesting revelation when you realize you don’t have to do it that way anymore.

[Anonymous]

Brilliant hawk, I love it. Some thoughts.

1. this should be a MM post.

2. From a psychological standpoint it seems like this model is severely lacking. Maybe it is from a therapeutic standpoint as well which is why it’s no longer in vogue. Nevertheless, it seems useful for at least generalizing some of our behavior in this process, much like Fowler’s stages.

3. Just like any other piece of psychology, when we are exposed to the notion we are better equipped to nip it in the bud. When we understand the effects of confirmation bias, or the spotlight effect, or our tendency for transparency, we are in a better position to see when we are a victim of ourselves. As you state, knowing the “games” we play in our minds and in our social groups can help us to transcend these things.

4. I definitely think it could be applied to people in our situation, indeed, many people on this site, indeed, myself too. I certainly have been in the role of victim (initial feelings of betrayal 😥 ), then moving to rescuer (everyone must be alerted to the lies 😆 ), and then, within my own family, becoming the persecutor (we won’t be raising our kids in the church because I feel it is damaging, despite what my wife thinks (which didn’t go over to well as you might imagine)), and finally trying to transcend all the nonsense.

5. In many ways it feels similar to the common stages in the study of denial.

[Anonymous]

It’s certainly not unique to people’s relationships with the church, but that is one place people like to play the game. Another place is at work, and there we often call it the blame game (victim) or having a John Wayne or hero complex (the rescuer) or, well, we have lots of nasty names for persecutor types, most of which wouldn’t pass moderation here. People do it in families, too, and it seems prevalent a lot with teenage drama cycles (for those with teens in the home): teenager plays victim role, one of the parents steps in as rescuer which immediately puts the other parent in role of persecutor. Or teen starts as victim, then switches to persecutor when s/he fails to obtain sympathy, one parent plays rescuer to other parent (“Don’t talk to your mother/father like that!”). Whenever there is drama, these 3 roles seem to pop up. Life is so much better without all the drama.

Sometimes to combat it, I like to just call it out but with self-effacing humor: “Hey, don’t blame the victim. I’m the victim here!”

[Anonymous]

I’m gonna sound like a broken record but the “Karpman Drama Triangle” is a whole chapter in the “Codependent No More” book.

It’s such an interesting and real phenomenon and so difficult to recognize and yet we all have done it our whole lives. Until we become aware and break the cycle.

In a family system or even a “ward family” system, these roles become defining for many people, both in the way they act but especially the way they react. It’s very self-perpetuating because Mormons are always looking for people to “help”; this isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but it does tend to encourage this “victim” triangle.

[Anonymous]

I was thinking about this at church as well. The lesson was about the difficulties of the early Saints in Missouri. So, the early Saints viewed their Missourian neighbors as persecutors, themselves as victims, and they appealed to Gov. Boggs to become their rescuer. Because he declined to rescue them, leaving them to frontier justice, he was viewed as their worst persecutor. But, if you shift your perspective to the Missourians, the Saints were viewed as persecutors (threatening their way of life through their peculiarity and voting bloc powers), Missourians viewed themselves as victims, and in their case, Gov. Boggs might have been viewed as a rescuer who supported them, making them feel even more justified in their opposition to the Mormons who were “persecuting” them by taking over the place. When you start to see yourself as a victim or others as persecutors, you immediately change how you deal with others and therefore, your entire relationship.

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