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Katzpur, I was 14 months in Vienna, 6 months in Graz while on my mission. We tracted 80 hours a week and it was a hard mission. I really questioned my faith for the first time and can understand why this guy never came back to church. I lost my faith in God even for awhile after my mission. But in general the church has had a good influence on my life so I always tried to contribute while I was active. Now I attend a local Nazerene church that I love going to every week. Lively discussions and the pastor thinks outside the box and makes the sermons very interesting. The people are great. Different wards seem to be different.
For me part of the pain of going to church was being a single working mom…getting two kids ready, getting all the housework done on Saturday to have a free Sunday (which very rarely happened) attending church where being a single mom is well the bottom of the barrel. I don’t understand why people are so afraid of the single moms, but I have friends that are also single moms in the church and they say they have the same experience. We tend to sit alone with our kids, sit alone in SS and RS, week after week. I haven’t had a HT in over 5 years, my VT seem to come around once every 5 months or so, but that’s all the contact I get. So going to church is more an exercise in putting on all my self defense armor and telling myself it’s the people not the church, but it’s still hurtful. Arwen wrote:For me part of the pain of going to church was being a single working mom…getting two kids ready, getting all the housework done on Saturday to have a free Sunday (which very rarely happened) attending church where being a single mom is well the bottom of the barrel. I don’t understand why people are so afraid of the single moms, but I have friends that are also single moms in the church and they say they have the same experience. We tend to sit alone with our kids, sit alone in SS and RS, week after week. I haven’t had a HT in over 5 years, my VT seem to come around once every 5 months or so, but that’s all the contact I get. So going to church is more an exercise in putting on all my self defense armor and telling myself it’s the people not the church, but it’s still hurtful.
My heart goes out to you Arwen. This just not right! I would love to be your visiting teacher and sit next to you at church!
Warning lecture ahead: Arwen! Why are you sitting alone at church? If you sit alone it’s because YOU need to sit by someone! I mean that in the kindest way!
😆 I also found myself sitting alone at church (and I am not in anyway some sort of pariah but would be looked upon as TBM) and it occurred to me that that was really dumb. I was the one who needed to do the reaching out and not wait for others to do it for me. So in R.S. I almost always find someone sitting by themselves and sit by them. It’s really helped me a lot and I hope it makes others feel good, too.I also think the sisters need to take advantage of the monthly R.S. meetings. That may be more difficult for single mothers but it certainly is the only time that you can really get to know the sisters in your ward better. Ours are very poorly attended for the most part but it’s the time when I actually get to visit and learn about the sisters. And one other thing while I’m on my soapbox: be sure to participate in the R.S. and S.S. lessons. This helps people know who you are and helps them to get to know and feel comfortable around you. I am an over-participator and have to hold back because I have too much to say but I find it frustrating when others always sit and don’t share! Please share and it doesn’t have to be PC. I speak my mind a lot.
Home teaching and visiting teaching is lame for most everybody, although I’d hope that if you were needing something your HT or VT would be there to help you even if they don’t visit every month… or ever.
And if anything, you now have a really good “ward” here!
/rant
I agree, Bridget, that F&T isn’t always the best meeting for newbies. I’m not sure he actually listened to much of it. But it was an interesting meeting because we had one investigator bear his testimony. That’s always a change. hawkgrrrl wrote:For me, it gets boring when I’m not engaging with people or trying to fade into the background.
I think this is often why it does get boring for me. I try to sit in the back and fade into the background. I would rather sit alone sometimes and think … but all these friendly people keep coming up and interrupting my book reading!
I do appreciate it when people sit by me, but I’m not going to church expecting that (or sometimes wanting that).
I think most people in my ward are like Observant (well, not exactly … observant is kinda unique it many ways, right?), but they like to be nice to others, and is a lot of what church should be about
observant wrote:I almost always find someone sitting by themselves and sit by them. It’s really helped me a lot and I hope it makes others feel good, too.
observant wrote:Warning lecture ahead:
Arwen! Why are you sitting alone at church? If you sit alone it’s because YOU need to sit by someone! I mean that in the kindest way!
😆 I also found myself sitting alone at church (and I am not in anyway some sort of pariah but would be looked upon as TBM) and it occurred to me that that was really dumb. I was the one who needed to do the reaching out and not wait for others to do it for me. So in R.S. I almost always find someone sitting by themselves and sit by them. It’s really helped me a lot and I hope it makes others feel good, too.I also think the sisters need to take advantage of the monthly R.S. meetings. That may be more difficult for single mothers but it certainly is the only time that you can really get to know the sisters in your ward better. Ours are very poorly attended for the most part but it’s the time when I actually get to visit and learn about the sisters. And one other thing while I’m on my soapbox: be sure to participate in the R.S. and S.S. lessons. This helps people know who you are and helps them to get to know and feel comfortable around you. I am an over-participator and have to hold back because I have too much to say but I find it frustrating when others always sit and don’t share! Please share and it doesn’t have to be PC. I speak my mind a lot.
Home teaching and visiting teaching is lame for most everybody, although I’d hope that if you were needing something your HT or VT would be there to help you even if they don’t visit every month… or ever.
And if anything, you now have a really good “ward” here!
/rant
Funny story…not funny ha ha..but ironically funny. Once I sat by someone so I wouldn’t be sitting by myself, trying to be social and all, and they moved. Like I said if I let the members of the church treatment of me dictate me being a member..I’d of left a long time ago.
Ahh, you belong to one of those sucky wards. I’m sorry. You didn’t need my lecture I’m sure but I think it may apply to some people who feel left out. How old are your children now?
I just thought I’d post a poem I ran across a couple of days ago. My son wrote it when he was probably in about 8th or 9th grade. He is no longer active in the Church and I’m starting to think his perspective is hereditary. UNTIED LACES
Sometimes I’m made to go to church
and wear itchy pants
tight around my waist
then tuck in a shirt
that doesn’t fit
that’s long and ugly and red
and those tight shoes to match
with untied laces
my tie strangles me
for three straight hours
I go to church praying
that this will all be over soon
Note: If the crotch of his pants was any higher than his knees, he’d have said it was “tight around his waist.”
I love the poem. I feel the same way and I’m 40 years old have you ever thought, Katzpur, of going to a different church to see how other Christians worship ? i attend church in another denomination with my girlfriend and it really is refreshing to see people attend church in a totally different setting. at first it was difficult because i was use to the very quiet way mormons worship. this denomination i attend with my girlfriend is quite an eye-opener for me. it is nice to see people worship God in a very different way from the usual LDS perspective of worship. that said, I do miss attending LDS services and attending another denomination does make me realize how much i learned as a formerly active LDS member. the main thing i have learned since going to a different church is how important it is to focus on Christ, His teachings and His mission as the Savior. BeLikeChrist wrote:have you ever thought, Katzpur, of going to a different church to see how other Christians worship ? i attend church in another denomination with my girlfriend and it really is refreshing to see people attend church in a totally different setting. at first it was difficult because i was use to the very quiet way mormons worship. this denomination i attend with my girlfriend is quite an eye-opener for me. it is nice to see people worship God in a very different way from the usual LDS perspective of worship. that said, I do miss attending LDS services and attending another denomination does make me realize how much i learned as a formerly active LDS member. the main thing i have learned since going to a different church is how important it is to focus on Christ, His teachings and His mission as the Savior.
That has been my experience too. Bridget
I know it’s been rumored but I would love it if church was just 2 hours. I feel I would actually get more out of it. I think it would help SS and RS not be so repetitive, you’d have to jump in to the good stuff sooner. I hate how long opening exercises are in RS. I mean an opening hymn AND a practice hymn? Plus a shorter service would be easier on the little kids. Also, i’ve noticed I like sacrament meeting when there are a lot of speakers. In our current ward it’s usually just two speakers and a lot of the talk is filler or repetitive. Right now I just think,thank goodness I have a baby to entertain me through this
Katzpur wrote:UNTIED LACES
…
In a sad sort of way, that is just plain awesome. My middle-aged angst captured so eloquently by an adolescent.
doubting mom wrote:i’ve noticed I like sacrament meeting when there are a lot of speakers. In our current ward it’s usually just two speakers and a lot of the talk is filler or repetitive.
I notice that too. I miss the good old days of having a toddler to be able to go out in the halls with.
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