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So I have received a new calling in our newly created ward and I thought I’d take the time to read in the Church Handbook of Instructions to see what my specific responsibilities would be. Since I was already looking through it I clicked over to read what it said about Home Teachers. Overall, the section contained guidance and a description of the role of a HT that I thought was positive and aligned well with my interpretation of the role. But there was one section that caught my attention: 👿 Quote:As needed, home teachers help parents
ensurethat their children are blessed, baptized, and confirmed. They may also help parents ensurethat their sons have the Aaronic Priesthood and Melchizedek Priesthood conferred upon them and are ordained to priesthood offices at the appropriate ages. I have emphasised the part that I take issue with. Now I don’t know about the rest of you but I would have a major problem with some member of my ward trying to
ensureanything related to my family. Perhaps the manual doesn’t really want people telling others what to do but I can see some uber-TBM becoming very pushy and demanding with this. In my opinion if the word was changed to encourage it would be more inline with a Christ-like approach. So how would you deal with someone from your ward trying to ensure that your family did something? Thought?
edit: Here is the link –
http://www.lds.org/handbook/handbook-2-administering-the-church/melchizedek-priesthood/7.3#7.4 ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.lds.org/handbook/handbook-2-administering-the-church/melchizedek-priesthood/7.3#7.4 I’m OK with the wording of “help parents ensure” – even if I could suggest alternatives. If you don’t mind me being blunt, I think this constitutes a bit of quibbling and “making someone an offender for a word”. I would like to ensure lots of things with regard to my children, as long as it doesn’t abridge their agency – and I don’t see the current wording as implying force or coercion in any way. Sure, some people might take it past the proper point and start to pressure inappropriately, but that will happen even with other possible wordings – like “encourage”. Also, if parents are not trying to “ensure” something, there is no helping them. It’s only when parents are trying to ensure something that someone else can help them. Home Teaching is supposed to be about helping families (and individuals), so I am fine with the wording as is.
Its strange to me as a convert that someone would let a stranger from church that could be a total psycho be assigned to their family to “ensure” anything. My Dad was able to be a spectacular father without the help of strangers. The purpose seems to be to keep the family and children involved in the church. When in fact, that might not be in the best interest of the particular family. I as a man will decide what best for my family, not a stranger! Don’t the men on here find home teaching offensive? Do you really a total stranger to help to raise your family? When I need help I turn to people whose loyalty is to me first and not the church. Don Corleone said never go outside of your family! I believe that.
I find home teaching demeaning. Sorry everyone! However, I believe if you enjoy it you should be free to participate in it. Live and let live.
Good luck in your new calling Canuckle!
I love the theory of Home Teaching, even if the implementation gets messed up too often. I love the idea of helping each other, and I know WAY too many situations where a loving person outside the family was just what someone in the family needed to survive a rough stretch. Also, when done properly, it can be a godsend for single mothers with boys, especially. I like the concept of “it takes a village”, and I don’t want to try to raise my kids in isolation from other caring adults. Fwiw, I think the reason Home Teaching doesn’t resonate with some people (or even is a negative thing) has MUCH more to do with formulaic, ineffective and/or offensive implementation than with the ideal it represents. I think if it was done regularly the way it is supposed to be done (at least, the way it was envisioned originally), there would be few if any people who would have problems with it.
In the name of full disclosure, I say that as someone who has not been a good Home Teacher over the years.
My family story is one that could be told in General Conference talks on Home Teaching. My Dad was born a member, but inactive after about age 14. My parents married when he was 24, Mom was 22. She joined the Church one year later of her own accord. My Dad got active enough to become an elder and be sealed to me and my mom a few years later, and then promptly went inactive again. Took up smoking and enjoying a frequent Coors. During this time my mom was very active, taking all three of us kids to Church every Sunday. We had the same Home Teacher for 14 years. Total salt-of-the-earth guy. A butcher. Went through 3 of his sons as companions – as each one left on a mission, he’d get the next youngest one. I remember him being a very faithful HT’er. Usually came with a lesson – had his sons give it most times. He was careful to ask my Dad beforehand if he was okay being asked to call on someone to pray, etc. This guy eventually became very good friends with my dad – we went camping together as families, etc. One day he stopped by the house while Dad was mowing the lawn. After a minute of small talk he said “Dave, you know you’ve got a great family. And you also know that they’re headed one direction spiritually, and you’re headed another. It’d be a real shame for them to end up in one kingdom and for you to end up in another.” Putting aside any gripes you may have with the doctrine that statement represents, it was said in total love and concern for my dad. Had anyone else from the ward said that to my dad, he’d have cussed them out and chased them off the farm. But Dad knew that Art loved him, and not as an “assigned friend,” but as a real friend. Two weeks later my dad quit smoking cold turkey. He made a production out of drinking his last, beloved Coors. Then he came back to Church. It took Art 10 years of HT’ing to develop the kind of friendship with my pops to get to the point where he could have that conversation with my dad and not have it be offensive. So do I look at HT and get frustrated sometimes by the constant rotation of families, the focus on numbers, etc.? Yes, of course. Am I glad, though, that Art was my family’s home teacher for 14 years? Yes. Very much so.
Old-Timer wrote:I love the theory of Home Teaching, even if the implementation gets messed up too often. I love the idea of helping each other, and I know WAY too many situations where a loving person outside the family was just what someone in the family needed to survive a rough stretch. Also, when done properly, it can be a godsend for single mothers with boys, especially. I like the concept of “it takes a village”, and I don’t want to try to raise my kids in isolation from other caring adults.
Helping each other is great. Assigning helpers and essentially forcing them to help, even when not needed, through rigorous stat keeping and peer pressure, is not that great.
Agreed, Brown – “even as implementation gets messed up too often”. Thanks, Kumahito, for sharing that experience. That is what it is supposed to be.
AG, I totally agree with you. I cannot bully a parent into this, and would not wish to be in that position. HT is about service. If we teach it is to uplift the member, if we talk it is to help and listen. Encouragement not enforcement.
Some of the best HT isn’t scripted. We helped a less active sister who was having trouble at work, simply by listening. She wanted to talk to someone about it. I’ve painted walls, driven people round, been shopping, replaced tires, cleaned houses and even helped people get free legal advice (thanks to a retired lawyer friend of mine) We’ve also helped people in hospital, recent widows, helped take fathers to hospital and picked up mother and baby etc. And we get to teach lessons as well!
About the nearest to this was a woman whose daughter was mentally disabled. Should she get baptized? Well there were arguments both ways. We discussed it (my companion mainly) but respected her opinion.
That said, I have a good senior companion. He has a good sense of when something is or isn’t appropriate, is not rigid, has a sense of humor etc. When we look after people and care about them, then they realize we’re not doing this just to tick boxes or to interfere.
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