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I recognize that this board is often used to discuss negative experiences with fellow ward members, leaders, etc. I have often shook my head in amazement at the some of the things unthinking bishops, stake presidents, and ward members do as reported on this board. I feel for those individuals whose wards are not as supportive as they could be. I have always felt fortunate to be in a good ward filled with imperfect but basically good people. To illustrate: A few months ago, a young man in my ward returned early from his mission after only a few months. I don’t know the details surrounding his early departure except that it wasn’t a worthiness issue. It probably had more to do with the stress associated with the mission experience. He was so ashamed that he didn’t come to church for the first two weeks he was home and after that only to sacrament meeting for several weeks. Finally, he started attending the other meetings as well, sitting in the back as unobtrusively as he could. So many young men who come home early struggle with remaining active, I wondered what would happen to him. I found out last Sunday.
At the end of fast and testimony meeting, this same young man walked up to the podium. You could have heard a pin drop. Haltingly, he explained that he’d come home early from his mission. He briefly described the shame he had felt and how he had not wanted to come to church for a long time. With tears in his eyes, he thanked the ward for being so kind to him when he did return. He thanked the bishopric and his parents as well for their support during this difficult time. It was not the most eloquent testimony I ever heard but definitely one of the most sincere. I listened with tears in my own eyes and thought to myself, “No recriminations or speculations. No awkwardness or judgment. Just good people concerned for the welfare of one of their own. So this is what Zion is like…and why I stay LDS.”
Quote:Just good people concerned for the welfare of one of their own. So this is what Zion is like.
Amen – and I wish so badly that was the case everywhere. When I go to church, I do so to try to help create that, not to intellectualize or theorize. I pursue that on my own time – and the time I spend here, sometimes.
I love to think about theology and such stuff, but I care far less about doctrinal issues than I do about love and service and Zion.
We need to hear experiences like this. I think it could be an ongoing thread like the ‘Return and Report’ thread we once had about what church was like on Sunday. Except this thread is on positive experiences only. I can contribute one. It starts negative, but turns positive.
One of the crises I faced in the church was when my Stake president turfed me out of his office when I came to him asking for financial support to serve a mission. I won’t go into details, other than to say the stake had borrowed for other missionaries to go, and this new SP didn’t agree with that decision. So he made all mission fund donations go to pay off the debt before the Wards funded any other missions. Given my large student loan debt, my Bishop recommended I simply stay home and get married.
I share this as set up for the next part, which is positive.
Here is the good part. The members of the Ward pulled together after they saw me struggle for a year. One member was an executive search consultant (he placed senior managers in high profile companies) and he taught me innovative job search techniques. He also set me up on a budget and met with me weekly to help me stay on track and deal with the issues that came up. He also took me out to dinner and taught me protocols when having a business or social lunch. I landed my own, good paying job in manufacturing as a result.
Another member let me use her car to do part-time disc jockey work on the weekends. This brought in more income. And finally, a member of the Bishopric let me live in their unfinished attic for one year so I didn’t have to pay rent or board.
After 1 year of this support, I was out of student loan debt and had enough money to fund 80% of my mission. By that time, the Stake had cleared off its debt and Ward donations went to support the rest of the mission. The total time from the Stake President’s rejection and my eventual leaving on the mission was two years. The Ward members showed the kind of support I needed to make this happen.
That is what happens in a Ward from heaven.
I enjoy reading these experiences. I have recently had wonderful exchanges and experiences with my ward, along with a sprinkling of real painful words from teachers of classes to my children. My kids are old enough to notice these things with others in the ward, and it is an opportunity to discuss it at home and as a family so they know how to conduct themselves when interacting with others at church, including permission to text me and I come get them out of class.
It is important to me that the kids recognize all the wonderful people in our ward, despite the occasional painful experience.
I am just now going through separation and divorce, and we have had to move to a new ward, where my kids attend with me on occasion but mostly with their mother in a different ward but the same stake.
All 3 wards (our old ward, my new ward, my ex’s new ward) have all been so supportive to our family.
On one level, my kids have struggled with lessons they’ve heard about committing to being married in the temple to avoid the problems the world faces such as divorce. They come home to talk to me about how that doesn’t make sense because our temple marriage still ended in divorce. So the comments the teachers are making by trying to deliver the lesson manuals seem to have created problems.
But, unanimously, all my kids, and me, have felt such love by people who understand our situation, and although they teach the materials out of the manual which make us scratch our heads at times, privately there has been nothing but acceptance and support and love from the individuals of our ward. And many ward members also share their personal experiences of divorce, family deaths, and multiple unique situations so our family feels we fit in with everyone else.
I have loved that feeling. Everyone in the ward hopes for the ideal situations in life that blessings of the gospel bring, but everyone understands that real life doesn’t measure up to the ideal standards we all hope for.
Because of the good people in the church, our family fits in with everyone else who is going through problems in life. We all are applying the gospel to our unique situations. There are really good people in the church. It is one of the biggest reasons I stay.
I am so enjoying all of the comments on this thread. Very encouraging! Thanks Gerald for starting it! Silent Dawning and Heber13, I appreciate your personal input too! Silent Dawning, are you pleased in the long run your mission was handled that way or do you feel it would have been better if they had assisted with the funding from the beginning? It seems you gained a lot along the way in preparation.
afterall wrote:I am so enjoying all of the comments on this thread. Very encouraging! Thanks Gerald for starting it! Silent Dawning and Heber13, I appreciate your personal input too!
Silent Dawning, are you pleased in the long run your mission was handled that way or do you feel it would have been better if they had assisted with the funding from the beginning? It seems you gained a lot along the way in preparation.
+ 1
My sister-in-law wants pretty much nothing to do with the church. She’s visiting this weekend and we caught up. I asked her about her (SLC area) social/ward situation and she told me about sporadic visiting teaching visits, feeling like the women weren’t sincere, etc. I think she has been inclined to respond to their overtures, but then just feels burned when they drop her when the routes change. She’s divorced and works a stressful job and doesn’t feel in synch with many of them. So, kind of complicated like always.
Her daughter has some pretty severe damage from years of uncontrollable seizures. They were assigned a home teacher who’s a pharmacist. He’s very low-key, practical. She doesn’t feel like a project. She trusts him. When he asks how she’s doing, she feels he really wants to know.
This made my heart so happy. Sunday is drawing to a close and I have to acknowledge the good that comes from HT and VT well done. It’s a calling that I’m spending a lifetime growing into.
After sacrament talks making my head hurt (the line: “I’m not going to pull any punches” is never good to hear) I helped sit with the rowdy boys in primary’s sharing/music time (lots of people away on holiday). The lesson was on the importance of personal prayer and how much Heavenly Father loves all of his children.
The children sang:
“I know who I am, I know God’s plan… As I have loved you, love one another… I’m trying to be like Jesus… I’m try to love as he did… Jesus wants me for a sunbeam to shine for him each day… I am a child of God…”
My heart was gladdened at the simple uplifting message being taught.
The teacher used a deck of playing cards as part of the game, she was born in Asia and doesn’t have the cultural baggage that makes them seen as ‘evil.’
The pianist threw in some honky-tonk riffs for a few of the songs.
Out in the corridor I noticed one of the young men wearing a ‘skirt’ (he’s of Polynesian origin so I guess it has a technical name).
I have hope for the church’s future as it aims to expand into Asia. Until now, with expansion into catholic Latin America it has been able to maintain its more dogmatic outlook.
Asian religion is about nuance, finding a personal “middle way” – people are very comfortable applying aspects of different religions and philosophies as needed. If the church is to grow in these countries it will need to adopt and adapt. That will be good for all of us.
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