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SD, we mentioned the GC talk of “Good, Better, Best” on the other thread about The Ultimate Checklist…and it seemed appropriate to your discussion here as well. You’d have to judge if you could refer this talk to your local leadership, or if that would not be appropriate, but you can internalize these things and feel right as rain about saying no to leadership and quoting Apostles to them if needed, or just knowing in your heart you are following direction from servants of the Lord.
Elder Oaks said in Conference:
Quote:Members of the Quorum of the Twelve have stressed the importance of exercising inspired judgment in Church programs and activities. Elder L. Tom Perry taught this principle in our first worldwide leadership training meeting in 2003. Counseling the same leaders in 2004, Elder Richard G. Scott said: “Adjust your activities to be consistent with your local conditions and resources. … Make sure that the essential needs are met,
but do not go overboard in creating so many good things to do that the essential ones are not accomplished. … Remember, don’t magnify the work to be done—simplify it.” [emphasis added] In general conference last year, Elder M. Russell Ballard warned against the deterioration of family relationships that can result when we spend excess time on ineffective activities that yield little spiritual sustenance. He cautioned against complicating our Church service “with needless frills and embellishments that occupy too much time, cost too much money, and sap too much energy. …
The instruction to magnify our callings is not a command to embellish and complicate them. To innovate does not necessarily mean to expand; very often it means to simplify.… What is most important in our Church responsibilities,” he said, “is not the statistics that are reported or the meetings that are held but whether or not individual people—ministered to one at a time just as the Savior did—have been lifted and encouraged and ultimately changed.” [emphasis added; bold and underline] Stake presidencies and bishoprics need to exercise their authority to weed out the excessive and ineffective busyness that is sometimes required of the members of their stakes or wards. Church programs should focus on what is best (most effective) in achieving their assigned purposes without unduly infringing on the time families need for their “divinely appointed duties.”
You can read the whole talk here:http://lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/good-better-best?lang=eng&query=good+better+best ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/good-better-best?lang=eng&query=good+better+best I’m going to have to think about Ray’s post. He is right that I need to see that my actions have an impact. But the way he’s described it, this corresponds to the Gallup Strength called “Significance”. But I scored VERY low on that trait when I took the personality test. It was in the bottom quartile of the 34 personality factors identified by Gallup in my personal profile. It means you have a need to see that your efforts were effective but there is a recognition component to it that I don’t have. Personally, I’ve never cared for that — not for awards, public recognition or anything, only to know that I could see my efforts pay off in some way that was meaningful to me personally. I see it more as Achiever, which was in my top quartile. And this because in this world of limited time and infinite needs, one needs to be careful where they put their efforts to be efficient. But I will have to think about Ray’s comment.
Regarding the quote from Heber13. My Bishop read that to me and the EQP in a PEC meeting a few years ago. He cited two things we were doing that qualified as busy work that didn’t matter. I can’t remember what the EQP was doing, but our Bishop said my work on the MLS system was not value added. This confused the heck out of me at the time, and frankly, I kind of resented it.
What I was doing was this — after fiddling around with the system, I found a way to create a custom coding system where I could put a custom code next someone’s name regarding the level of contact they wanted. With the Bishop’s permission, I then trained the Ward leadership to use that coding system when they visited people. It was quite effective in reducing duplication, and preventing the HP from visiting someone who wrote a name removal letter two months previously. It helped us keep track of our stewardship, and provided a pretty good handoff to the next leader in the Ward. At Ward conference I could give an accounting of the stewardship. It did take some time at first, because I had some 200 families at first. I also ran a mailing list each month on the system very easily given the custom codes. I also knew who was a new move-in so I could visit them becauase tehy were without codes. As members moved out, my records were automatically updated too. This allowed me to assign people better, to decide who to assign to home teachers — it was quite effective. We even had EQ and HP assignments so we knew who had whom.
His comment baffled me quite honestly….and then one day I showed up to update the list (3 years or knowlege was captured at that point) and there was a note saying membership priviledges had been revoked. It really ticked me off and it was the last straw that burnt me out. Three years of knowledge — gone.
So, hearing it again is unusual in this context.
I do see it as another thing to put in the arsenal though. So far, there is DHO comment about exceptions to general principles, Wirthin’s concern for the one, and this one.
Thanks….
Whatever the title, SD, the take-away is that you need to feel like what you are doing is effective – and that might be a better way to say it than “accepted”. What I’m saying is that you need to stop expecting others to provide you with that end-result (“effectiveness”) and start deciding what you believe is effective and what isn’t – and work on trying to do so in circumstances you control, so that your own vision of effectiveness doesn’t clash with someone else’s. You need to be in control of that determination, and that can’t happen right now (in the Church, at least) when you are working on projects that require validation from someone else. In practical terms, that probably means, at least right now, that you focus on finding things you can do on your own for others – as you mentioned finding great joy in such service.
(Did you read the links I provided to my personal blog? I really do think you might gain something valuable from my father’s decision to walk away from community leadership and acclaim to focus on helping my mother – even though it led to mis-perceptions of him by others, including his own children.)
Old-Timer wrote:Whatever the title, SD, the take-away is that you need to feel like what you are doing is effective – and that might be a better way to say it than “accepted”
Yes! This meant that when the Stake would rail on me about home teaching numbers when I had done everything I felt I could do, I got demotivated. I was frustrated that they could not see that others agency was a factor in the overall effectiveness as they defined it. I once sat down with each member of my stewardship, and checked off the people with whom we had given best effort. Hometeaching against THIS standard was at 94%. The remaining 6% were the people who were new in the ward and hadn’t yet been contacted. Or occasionally, someone who had asked for a HT but had not yet been assigned.
Quote:What I’m saying is that you need to stop expecting others to provide you with that end-result (“effectiveness”) and start deciding what you believe is effective and what isn’t – and work on trying to do so in circumstances you control, so that your own vision of effectiveness doesn’t clash with someone else’s. You need to be in control of that determination, and that can’t happen right now (in the Church, at least) when you are working on projects that require validation from someone else. In practical terms, that probably means, at least right now, that you focus on finding things you can do on your own for others – as you mentioned finding great joy in such service.
Yes, that’s it. I agree with that wording. The ability to define success in teaching music lessons as seeing progress in the girl, and seeing that she looks forward to the lesson makes it worthwhile. It is liberating.
Quote:
(Did you read the links I provided to my personal blog? I really do think you might gain something valuable from my father’s decision to walk away from community leadership and acclaim to focus on helping my mother – even though it led to mis-perceptions of him by others, including his own children.)I scanned it, and will read it thoroughly later. I see the global point, but I would like to read it in more detail to give it justice. My kids are at me with Halloween requests as its 6:00 pm in this time zone…
I’m also not clear on your earlier comment “you never really knew yourself in past callings”. I don’t know what you meant.
I read through the two posts on your blog Ray. Your Dad’s approach to protecting his wife was inspiring. His life was one of sacrifice for his wife — particularly the part where he agreed to have another child and bear the burden of the child rearing. Wow….I don’t think I could do that. As far as it relates to this situation…I see the point. He basically didn’t “care” (for lack of a better word) about the whole leadership thing. He accepted the role as the reliable rank and file person in the Church, choosing to dedicate his life to other interests that were best for his family, or to make it general, spiritually fulfilling for him.
So, you think it would be best if I stopped caring so much about my place in the leper colony…and that’s probably right.
I’m not sure how we got here when I started talking about my wife’s situation..perhaps the analogy is that we should just do whatever is best for ourselves and let the local leadership fend for themselves….as I said, my wife gave them a two-month ultimatum at which point we are disappearing from the Ward for several weeks until they find a replacement. And fooey on what the leadership thinks…
SilentDawning wrote:I think Brian’s statement was a real RINGER. I never thought of it that way — they didnt’ respect me before I made a stink about the slow release either. It appeared that they had respect, but as you said, the true nature of the relationship only became explicit when they chose not to release me and then treated me like a bit of a leper afterwards. The point? This particular group of men really didn’t care about the sheep. They only cared about the sheep farm. So why care about their perceptions at all?
True.
Also, I like what you’re doing with the music lessons for the kids. Music is so important and can have such a lasting benefit. I had to smile at the mention of the ukelele. When I was assistant scoutmaster, the scoutmaster would lend his out to the boys to play. They had a great time with it.
When I think of the ukelele, I think of Jake Shimabukuro. That guy is a ukelele musical genius. I first became aware of him while watching an episode of Woodsongs. Give him a listen some time. I have a whole new appreciation for that instrument after watching his performance.
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