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mom3 wrote:Quote:
Ann wrote – My first Time Out For Women was my last
I went twice, the first one I attended I wrote a lengthy complaint, I attended again because they called me and invited my family and I to attend at their expense (oh yeah!). Not much had changed, just a nuance or two. Haven’t returned since.
I am hoping for some insight into these posts. DW has attended TOFW once and really enjoyed it. I am also aware of similar women’s conferences for Christian women. Can everyone please add perspectives of the pros and cons of Time Out For Women?
Here is my take – I do think Time Out for Women is helpful for many LDS women. I think Women (LDS or Not) yearn for Time Outs, days away, etc. To have a day or a weekend where you can focus on your life or just have down time with others who think like you is a huge gift to women. And for LDS gals Time Out is that answer. I know ladies in my ward who purposely choose to attend the farthest away one so they can do an overnight gig. It’s a like a business trip with all the perks. So Roy if your wife is uplifted by it, I totally encourage her to keep going. For me they are a marketing event. Put on by Deseret Book to sell Deseret Book products.
I used to attend BYU Women’s Conference, there are some similarities, an entire campus flooded with LDS moms, grandma’s and daughters. Classes all over the map from family adoption and psychology to deep theology from the likes of Truman Madsen (okay, he is dead, but I always went to his stuff). There are service projects of giant magnitude, and all the BYU/LDS swag you can claim. However, not every speaker is speaking to sell a book, CD, painting, etc. Some may have books you can buy, other’s don’t, they give their address, and that is all. One year I attended two different classes on children’s literature. It was a panel discussion on great books for kids and youth. They weren’t LDS books, just good books. The women were teachers of no famous anything. I loved the info, the handouts, the discussion. But I didn’t feel a gentle push to go to the bookstore and get….
The two Time Out For Women’s I attended every speaker had an item you could purchase after the class. I liked the speakers, they bring in some power house players. Richard Holzhapfel, Camille Fronk Olsen, – their talks are great, I just don’t enjoy flipping through the program and seeing ads for their book on the subject they are speaking on. It’s a prideful problem on my part I suppose. And my pridefulness cuts me out of a bonding opportunity with my ward sisters. But since I know I am much farther left than most of them, I smile when they go and remember that I had a great weekend doing something that made me happy, too.
Please don’t let your wife’s joy be dampened by my review. Social relations in life are vital for all of us, so she buys a bag and some books. It’s the sisterhood, the time to feel deservedly selfish and free from life’s tether that makes Time Out for Women positive. Send her everytime if you can, she deserves it.
The year I spoke at the BYU Women’s Conference was the only time I attended. They paid for my flight and housing. No stipend for speaking. I spoke to a group of about 3000 about grief. I am floored at how spiritually HUNGRY the audience was. They wanted so much from the speakers. It gave me a different viewpoint of the average member. I was contacted a few weeks later and was told that my talk was going to be published in the annual book. They edited it, and sent me a contract. I signed over all rights. They sent me a check for $187.00 (I think .. It wasn’t much). I also got maybe 10 free copies of the book.
They sold the tar out of that volume. The Women’s Conference, TOFW, and the accompanying books are huge money makers.
I have never attended a TOFW .. My experience as a speaker just jaded me somehow. It just has always felt too commercialized in some way .. Too manufactured.
And yet .. I have friends who love TOFW.
It’s definitely not my thing. The main reason is that I have always had a busy career. Many Mormon women do seem to crave something that these types of seminars provide, and more power to them. Definitely too marketed for my taste. I’m just not keen to spend a bunch of time on this sort of thing. hawkgrrrl wrote:It’s definitely not my thing. The main reason is that I have always had a busy career. Many Mormon women do seem to crave something that these types of seminars provide, and more power to them. Definitely too marketed for my taste. I’m just not keen to spend a bunch of time on this sort of thing.
I could see you going, asking lots of questions and then one being asked of you, “Would you mind NOT attending next year?”
My experience is probably ten years old by now. I don’t much like even going to Deseret Book stores, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that TOFW rubbed me the wrong way. I felt manipulated, but not in any sinister way – more like a trip to Target or Disneyland. There was also a very “groupie” response to one of the male performers, and I was really put off by the way he egged it all on. Blech. But he’s probably not on the circuit anymore, anyway. And I haven’t paid any attention to what’s being offered now. I shouldn’t have made such a strong statement because I’m not sure that there’s anything inherently wrong with it, and I can see how it could become a nice tradition for some women. Some of my friends who I consider very substantial people enjoy it. I’m more reserved; it just didn’t jibe with my personality.
My wife loves them. Things like that don’t do anything for me, but I have no issues with them.
Thanks to everyone for your responses. My wife does enjoy these types of outings and did come home with some overpriced CD’s last time.
:eh: Ann wrote:I felt manipulated, but not in any sinister way – more like a trip to Target or Disneyland.
We took our kids to the circus a few weeks ago and the carnival hucksters were pretty ubiquitous and brazen. Thankfully my kids know not to ask. We did enjoy the circus and had a really good time as a family. I do not begrudge the circus staff the attempt to pile on some impulse purchases. As far as Time Out for Women goes, I would evaluate it to be more fun than a trip to Target and cheaper than Disneyland.
Ann wrote Quote:There was also a very “groupie” response to one of the male performers, and I was really put off by the way he egged it all on. Blech.
I wonder if you and I went to the same one? Because my first complaint was about the “fan-girl” ” groupie” mentality. I took advantage of some previous correspondence I had with Sheri Dew, and wrote directly to the office. It was a two fold complaint – the man-pandering (very un-LDS ladies type thing) (I had never experieced that at all at Women’s Conference.) Then the over the top merchandising.
In all sincerity I do want LDS women’s weekends to be hopeful, helpful, connecting and healing. AP wrote about
Quote:how spiritually HUNGRY the audience was.
And from my point of view that’s a need worth filling. Now I do think it helps, I think in my life though sitting by the beach and letting solitude be my companion fills me more. Just where I am today.
Quote:Ann wrote
There was also a very “groupie” response to one of the male performers, and I was really put off by the way he egged it all on. Blech.
I wonder if you and I went to the same one? Because my first complaint was about the “fan-girl” ” groupie” mentality.
There was a male stripper?? And no one TOLD me. Oh man!! I miss all the good ones.
All kidding aside, I was at a Reuben J Clark Law Society Event with DH last year. The musical performer was fabulous .. But the introduction included a comment about his beard. They wanted to assure everyone that the performer really was devout LDS .. But he had a beard for professional reasons. I found the statement so offensive. What does a beard on a musician have to do with his religious status?? Suddenly, I HATED being there. It felt like I approved of such narrow views by sitting passively through that introduction.
Yeah, it was just the sudden realization that this wasn’t for me. And I could have tried again, but I wasn’t motivated.
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